View Full Version : MIA FARANG (Foreigner's Wife)
article from The Nation
Stigma fading for mia farang
Ask a girl in the rural Northeast what she wants to be when she grows up, and you might hear farmer, teacher, singer, actress – or foreigner’s wife.
Thai women taking Western husbands are nicknamed “mia farang”, and here in Isaan some 15,000 women wear the title with pride. To be a foreigner’s wife is to have money, security, stability, an end to crushing poverty, and by and large, community acceptance of your choice in “career”.
The numbers of teenagers and high school graduates trying to enter the social circles of the mia farang was at first a phenomenon, and now a norm of life in Isaan. Girls trade tips on scoring Western husbands, or seek advice from the increasing amount of schoolmates or older cousins who already have one.
The government is now even asking mia farang to sell Otop products and help bring more foreigners to the Kingdom.
“Try asking any threeyearold girl in a rural village what she would like to be when she grows up, and you would be surprised to hear how many of them reply mia farang,” Adul Jankaew, headman of Ban Nonngarm village in Udon Thani’s Muang district said.
According to Witchai Lormwong, a director of the district school in Ban Phranmuan, becoming a mia farang is often deemed “good and acceptable” by a girl’s friends and family.
“There’s no more question of whether being mia farang is right or wrong. Girls just do it,” Witchai said.
The villagers say that for an Isaan girl, a Westerner is potentially the Prince Charming in their Cinderella story. The right marriage could get them all they need, and much of what they’ve lacked, overnight. “Over there” is associated with bright futures, getting money for doing little to nothing, maybe even becoming rich.
The other option for girls is more traditional: hard work on farms with the prospect of uncertain income.
“Why not marry a foreigner? Its good money,” said “Nong Dum”, a grade 9
student in Ban Jaan village in Roi Et who did not want to reveal her real name.
That philosophy is now getting passed from mother to daughter in Isaan, according to Adul.
“They teach their kids that if someone asks them about what they want with their future, they should reply mia farang,” Adul said.
In Adul’s village, 25 out of 180 families have mia farang wives or mothers, not including those who have yet to get married and those working in the sex industry.
The area is one of many largescale miafarang communities scattered across the region, according to a recent survey by the National Economic and Social Development Board’s regional office.
But the decision to be a foreigner’s wife doesn’t hold appeal for everyone. Prasit Boonchoop, a Ban Jaan village headman, admitted that more and more of the girls in his village and nearby areas are strictly targeting foreigners. But some would rather have the security of poverty at home, rather than the uncertainty of wealth abroad.
“I would rather work hard here on the farm than stay abroad. I don’t know what they are doing there. I just want to study more, till at least grade 12,” said Nong Am, a 15-year-old in Ban Jaan.
But her 21yearold cousin just left for Switzerland on a “student visa” –meaning she has three months to find a mate, according to the family – and Nong Am’s mother is now doing cleaning work in Bangkok, a popular summer activity that provides Bangkok income and exposure to farang men.
“It is common for villagers here to work in Bangkok after the rice farming season, because there are no jobs here. The husbands drive taxis and the wives do cleaning or waitressing jobs in restaurants around the capital,” Prasit said.
“There are at least 100 families from this village working for [businesses] in Chuwit [Kamolwisit]’s Davis Group chain alone. Some get as much as Bt2,000 in tips on a lucky day, compared to their Bt1,200 salary,” he added.
Work in Bangkok or the tourist provinces are a rural girl’s map to meeting foreigners, according to the NESDB study.
Most villagers interviewed by The Nation immediately answered “economic factors” when asked to explain why they would be a mia farang. Currently, the 22 million people in the 19 northeastern provinces earn an income that is three times below the national average and 8.9 times lower than Bangkok’s.
The region still has 6,679 “poor” villages and another 806 “very poor” villages – accounting for 40 per cent of Thailand’s poor – according to a February NESDB report.
Ironically, the government’s Bt1million village fund is helping people move to the city. The money, which people say they will use to fix irrigation ditches or buy cattle, often purchases a ticket to Bangkok, according to the two village headmen.
They’re lured by a desire for material goods, and the quickest fix for that need is a farang husband.
“The villagers compete to be successful people and they measure success through the size of a house, the brand of a car and other luxury items,” Prasit said.
Some roads in mia farang villages put one in mind of Bangkok’s posher residential areas, instead of a village in the dry Northeast. The latest fashionable car might be parked in a garage attached to a Western style luxury rambler, all located behind a solid concrete fence.
The sign to Ban Jaan village is written in Thai and English. Local residents call the village, with its 80 Swiss soninlaws, Ban Jaan Swiss.
“We get a lot of support from farang money,” said village headman Adul, reflecting the level of community acceptance of mia farang.
But not every mia farang fairytale wedding has a happy ending, according to some women outside of the mia farang circle.
“Among the successful cases are the older women, or the ones who’ve been exposed to marriage. Most of the teen mia farang are not successful. They are only in the relationship for money, but they are immature about relationships,” said a food vendor in Udon Thani.
--The Nation 2004-06-16
MIA FARANG CLUB: 'It's not just about the money'
Published on Jun 15, 2004
It's not just the lure of financial security but the "bad habits" of Thai men, say those Thai women who have chosen Western men over their male compatriots for husbands.
And this seems to be backed up by a recent survey. According to the National Economic and Social Development Board (NESDB), the bad habits of Thai men are one of three main reasons why large numbers of women from the country's Northeast have married Western men, leading to the "mia farang" phenomenon in the region.
The other two reasons are: poverty and family debts - especially after divorcing a Thai husband who leaves them to take care of the children - and women who want to emulate the success of neighbours who have married a foreigner.
"Thai men have a tendency to ignore their responsibilities to their family. They easily become 'jao choo' [adulterous] as well as alcoholic if they have money," said Suphee Traiphoo, 42, from Udon Thani. Suphee married German Peter Volk, 59, 18 years ago.
"I'm not saying all Thai men are like this but many of them are. Let's just say that without an order from God, I would not marry a Thai man," she added.
"They [Western men] are romantic and good at taking care of their wives, especially financially. And they share the housework, unlike the majority of Thai men," said Suphee's neighbour Noolam Jaithiang, 45. Noolam is married to 60-year-old Austrian lawyer Kowarch Andreas.
Both Noolam and Suphee divorced their Thai husbands before remarrying with Westerners.
"I had four kids with a Thai husband before marrying my first Austrian husband with whom I have a 12-year-old daughter. We are no longer together but I am now living with another Austrian man. We are not yet married as my first Austrian husband wants to secure my financial situation if he dies. My current Austrian boyfriend has no problems with the situation," Noolam said.
"We share similarities in that we both have grown-up children and need someone to be with and help each other. He came at the right time to my life," said Noolam.
After divorcing her Thai husband, Suphee went to work as a cleaner in Bangkok in order to earn money to raise her nine-month-old child. It was in Bangkok that she met her German husband through a friend who also had a German husband.
"After a long period of contact, I told him I had 11 family members to take care of and took him to my home. He said okay and told me he was not a rich man, just an ordinary working man," Suphee said.
The pair married and she went to work as a cleaner in German for 15 years until she got her pension three years ago. She then went back to live in her hometown in Udon Thani's Ban Non Ngarm with her husband Peter, who is also retired.
"It was not love at first but his good side did make me see him differently later. He cares about my family and always asked whether I sent money to my family on salary day. He helps me with the housework and loves my Thai son," said Suphee.
Eighty per cent of the 15,284 mia farang interviewed in the survey were married to Thai men before marrying their foreign husbands, the board's regional office director, Decha Vanichvarod, said.
"We found that the mia farang group is not the beautiful group who are attracted to work in the sex industry. They are just typical Isaan [Northeast] women with very little education. But they are healthy, patient and good at looking after the household. These qualities seem to attract Western, mostly elderly, men" said Decha.
"She is sincere, straightforward and diligent. I love her even though she grumbles too much sometimes and orders me around to do this and that," said Suphee's husband Peter.
"I trust my sense when seeing her eyes. She is courageous and self-confident, unlike my former wife," said Andreas about his wife Noolam.
Grandma Lamai (not her real name) from Roi Et's Ban Jaan said she was impressed with the way her Swiss son-in-law of eight years treats her daughter and grandchildren.
It is far from normal Thai men's standards, she said.
"When my daughter married him, he learned the ways of Buddhism in order to understand us even though it was not his religion. I could feel his sense of care and respect," Lamai said while showing photographs of her two grandchildren. Lamai has visited her grandchildren in Switzerland twice.
Prasit Boonchoob, the headman of Ban Jaan, where 80 out of the 587 families in the community feature a Western husband, said even though he was conservative he agreed that Western men took good care of their wives.
"If I was still single now, I don't think I could get a wife from this village," he said.
"Even though it is not a new thing I am a bit surprised to know that most women we interviewed mentioned the same things about Thai men's behaviour today as they had in the past. They hate Thai men's bad habits, especially the drinking, gambling and womanising, which they describe as being irresponsible to the family," said Decha.
Kamol Sukin, Sumalee Phopayak
The Nation
UDON THANI, ROI ET
------------
The Mia Farang of Isaan
"They are mostly typical Isaan women, rather dark skin, quite strong and healthy and not the type to attract typical Thai men," said researcher Decha Vanichvarod when asked to characterise mia farang, the Thai wives of foreign men.
Decha is director of the National Economic and Social Development Board's Northeastern Region.
"They are not 'beautiful' according to Thai men, or among the good-looking women who normally head for jobs in the sex industry in Bangkok, Phuket or Pattaya," he states in a soon-to-be published report.
Decha's study surveyed 15,284 mia farang in 19 provinces of the Northeast, ranging in age from 20 to 52 years of age, and averaging 32. Khon Kaen, Udon Thani and Nong Khai were the top three home provinces in terms of numbers.
Most of the women - 69 per cent - had an education no higher than Grade 6, 24 per cent made it to Grade 9 and the remaining 7 per cent graduated from higher levels.
Eighty per cent of them had been married before. Many have children with Thai husbands, the study found.
More than 50 per cent were from farming households and found they could not survive economically after breaking up with their husbands.
Many seek jobs in the service sector, such as hotel maids, waitresses or masseurs, which they feel give them a better chance of meeting foreigners.
Many meet Western partners through neighbours or relatives who have married farang. The study says 63 per cent met their husbands independently in Bangkok, Pattaya or another big city, 35 per cent through a relative and 2 per cent on the Internet.
Before meeting their farang partners, 33 per cent of the women had worked in Bangkok for less than Bt5,000 a month; 17 per cent worked in Pattaya for a similar income; 13 per cent worked in other tourist cities for salaries around Bt7,000; 26 per cent were farmers with a Bt1,000-per-month income; and 11 per cent had already worked abroad, many in factories, for salaries in the Bt30,000 range.
Since marrying, 72 per cent have become housewives and receive money from their husbands upon request. The women send an average of Bt8,000 a month back to their families.
The top three home countries of the husbands are Germany, Switzerland and England (20, 14 and 12 per cent, respectively). Other husbands of the women surveyed were from Australia, the United States, New Zealand, Canada, Sweden, France, Holland, Denmark, Belgium, Scotland, Italy, Norway, Greece and Israel, and Asian nations including Japan, Malaysia and Singapore, with small numbers from Laos, Hong Kong, South Korea, Kuwait and China.
Businessmen comprised the largest group of foreign husbands (22 per cent), with smaller numbers working as state officials, technicians, engineers, retirees, teachers and doctors.
If one noticed carefully, most of these men are also divorced before, some with kids. When they looked for a new wife, they will be looking for someone typcially very different from their ex. Someone who loves you for who you are (warts, fats & all), someone who is devoted to you, respects you, and may even be fiercely loyal - characteristics that seem to bec getting extinct in developed countries (even SG, IMHO).
Often many people think that the women chose the foreigner cos he provides easy money, and nothing else. Usually that is not true. The 1st reason is really they are already turned off by their own Thai men - jao chuu, lazy, drinking and sometimes gambling being the reasons. Next, they find these foreigners a totally different ballgame - caring, loving, financially sound, etc, and also most of them are one-woman men (ironically due to the "men = women" culture of the developed countries)
Having spoken to several Thai women (some already with kids) who have married men from USA, Australia, Singapore, UK, etc, I have yet to come across one where the lady does not a good reason to marry the men that is better than the money part. Usually they have several reasons that I agree are more important than wealth. None of them said money is not important, but they do add that a certain minimum level of financial support is needed for them to consider as they all want to give their families a better life.
And please dun think these gals will always play "tricks and KC" to hook their men. Maybe some do, but really most of them rather be themselves, especially if they know their men are serious and they are going to live together when they get married. Unlike those cases where the men have their wives back home and visit regularly.
They go thru problems/issues/quarrels jsut like any normal r/s. The reason why these r/s can succeed is typically both parties have already experienced a bad marriage before and are therefore more ready to give and take. Also, in a sense, cos of "once bitten twice shy", once tends to make sure the other party do not have characteristics that clashes with oneself. With 2 ready hearts, the r/s has a better chance of success. Sometimes the existing children (if applicable) gets in the way. Other times they become the glue that pulls both even closer.
One thing I like to find out from bros here. Many farangs can accept a divorced women with kid(s). I think most SG men will not. Will you? For myself, I will.
cyrus
09-07-2004, 01:08 AM
Apart from prejudice against marrying a divorcee ... what about marrying a WL .. would you (bros in general) marry her .. without any reservations? Food for thought ....
Apart from prejudice against marrying a divorcee ... what about marrying a WL .. would you (bros in general) marry her .. without any reservations? Food for thought ....
For me, it all depends on the reasons why she had to be one, and of course what she is doing today. Personally I would prefer not to marry someone who is still in the trade (how to take it when she has to serve other men?). But if it is all in the past (ex-FL or ex-WL), then to me the character of the woman becomes of extreme importance.
I too got to accept that I had not been an angel in the past, so I can also accept her past. What matters more is now and the future.
I'm 100% SG and my mia is a divorcee with a son. Been married since 1998, and has another son who is 4 years old now.
I don't think SG man has any objections to the former marital status to any woman, depending on the guys age. A 21 yr old guy will normally not want to marry a divorcee even if she is 20.
Me? I'm 42 now.
Cool, I am going to join your club. Practically same situation as u. Our little one is a CEMENT, a value-add in our bonding process. Targeting next year though (at least 10 months away). Wish time will fly.
BTW, u both staying in SG or? I plan to move up to LOS. Working on that now.
cyrus
09-07-2004, 11:01 PM
I fully agree with all your opinion coz' I'm in the same situation.
Maybe should form a "SG/MY guys with Thai wives" Club :)
Me not yet qualified leh. Now still on the journey to the altar ;) . Actually got 4 more months to engagement. Her parents OK on date liao - her birthday. House will take another 10-12 months to be ready.
fish76
11-07-2004, 10:32 AM
Me not yet qualified leh. Now still on the journey to the altar ;) . Actually got 4 more months to engagement. Her parents OK on date liao - her birthday. House will take another 10-12 months to be ready.
Bro, u mean a house in Thailand or in S'pore? Well I am seeing a ex WL, did it because of family like many other gals. I dun care about what happened and we are now trying to see if she can adapt to life here. I can't find a job in Bkk despite sending like 30 CVs........According to a recruitment agency, there are too many ang mohs that want to work there..........and by the way, I'm 28 and she's 25.
Bro, u mean a house in Thailand or in S'pore? Well I am seeing a ex WL, did it because of family like many other gals. I dun care about what happened and we are now trying to see if she can adapt to life here. I can't find a job in Bkk despite sending like 30 CVs........According to a recruitment agency, there are too many ang mohs that want to work there..........and by the way, I'm 28 and she's 25.
Agree with u, the past is over. It is the present and the future that counts. I hope your tirak's parents (why almost always the mum?) are not gold diggers. If so, u are fortunate (like me). If not, be prepared for a lot of headaches.
We're buying a house in Samut Prakan outside BKK ("We" cos she also chipping in, cos she said not fair for me to pay alone, so she got to work a lot harder at her new biz). No longer considering buying a property here - rather rent, cos simply not worth it. Pissed off at how all those major economic mistakes were made (despite protests/warnings from ppl like us eons ago), & how cost of living/business here were jacked up to unrealistic levels (viz-a-viz our neighbouring countries) and they still dun want to admit their mistakes (I would have respected them much more if they admitted). After years of rejecting offers from USA & Europe to go work there as I wanna stay to contribute to my country (big sacrifice coz terms are so much better), I have had enough.
Several things can happen - eventually I partner with some friends to open a factory in Samut Prakan or nearby (they got capital, me the know-how & onsite management skills), or my current company opens a subsidiary (quite possible) or I find a job. All these related to my quite unique skills in engineering IT, as I am pioneer in my industry - even on a global basis (& few angmohs can match). If company wants to move towards being world-class, I can contribute a lot (proven over the years). Better yet, our retail shop (to open soon) hopefully can succeed beyond all dreams and she needs me to help her as we consider expansion, or I focus on import/export if I can find enough retailers who wants supplies from Thailand.
Initially we both had decided that we should come over here (mainly cos of kid's education & my career), and go back to visit her parents often, but over time, I find myself happier there. Life is not so hectic and heck, a lot cheaper. Plus I am now comfortable with speaking Thai and can get by with most day-to-day conversations, including with strangers. I have to thank the book "Thai For Beginners" for getting me started. Now my key teachers are of course my tirak and our little one. It seems from ppl I converse with that my spoken Thai is pretty accurate. I am also beginning to read/write Thai. Like the language somehow, and find it easier than Chinese!
If one is prepared to lead a simple life, it is pretty surprising how cheap it can be to survive there (by SG costing standards). Plus I found out that International School is cheap (1/10 of SG) & I dun like the local school system here anyway - it sucks. I no longer want to work like hell here just to pay bills. Guess I am fortunate I have options to consider, and I am looking at them seriously. Beginning to know & meet more bros who have migrated, started families & succcessfully integrated into Thai life, holding normal jobs or running businesses. Several dun even cheong anymore (& that's why their experience are esp valuable to me, since cheonging is NOT the reason why I go Thailand). Will learn more from them.Guess I am getting "Thai-ized" :rolleyes: and I like it.
tirak69
12-07-2004, 12:32 AM
... Plus I am now comfortable with speaking Thai and can get by with most day-to-day conversations, including with strangers. I have to thank the book "Thai For Beginners" for getting me started. Now my key teachers are of course my tirak and our little one. It seems from ppl I converse with that my spoken Thai is pretty accurate. I am also beginning to read/write Thai. Like the language somehow, and find it easier than Chinese!
If one is prepared to lead a simple life, it is pretty surprising how cheap it can be to survive there (by SG costing standards). Plus I found out that International School is cheap (1/10 of SG) & I dun like the local school system here anyway - it sucks. I no longer want to work like hell here just to pay bills. Guess I am fortunate I have options to consider, and I am looking at them seriously. Beginning to know & meet more bros who have migrated, started families & succcessfully integrated into Thai life, holding normal jobs or running businesses. Several dun even cheong anymore (& that's why their experience are esp valuable to me, since cheonging is NOT the reason why I go Thailand). Will learn more from them.Guess I am getting "Thai-ized" :rolleyes: and I like it.
phasaa thai is indeed a nice language to learn. sounds like singing especially when the females speak. also like the way they go "ka" or "ja" when you talk to them... i personally find it more interesting when u forge ahead and learn the local dialets like phasaa nuer, tai and/or issan.
good luck in your relationship!
tirak69
12-07-2004, 12:39 AM
Bro, u mean a house in Thailand or in S'pore? Well I am seeing a ex WL, did it because of family like many other gals. I dun care about what happened and we are now trying to see if she can adapt to life here. I can't find a job in Bkk despite sending like 30 CVs........According to a recruitment agency, there are too many ang mohs that want to work there..........and by the way, I'm 28 and she's 25.
bro,
u have to decide if you want to be in thailand wif her or get her to be in Sg with you. am sure you would know that getting her to stay in Sg is tough even if she has a uni degree...
i would say get to know her better first before committing... it may sound cliche but they all do it becoz of the same reason... the mum is the sole bread winner and the siblings will all work to earn fast money, if possible to help mum... the sad fact is that most of the time its true.
most important is you are not committing due to pity... spend enough time together and make sure you two love each other.
bro,
u have to decide if you want to be in thailand wif her or get her to be in Sg with you. am sure you would know that getting her to stay in Sg is tough even if she has a uni degree...
i would say get to know her better first before committing... it may sound cliche but they all do it becoz of the same reason... the mum is the sole bread winner and the siblings will all work to earn fast money, if possible to help mum... the sad fact is that most of the time its true.
most important is you are not committing due to pity... spend enough time together and make sure you two love each other.
A lot definitely depends on the guy's own qualification (this is paper-chasing SG after all), and income level. If you can prove that you can support her (eg, by the taxes you pay) w/o her needing to work, it should be easier.
Even though I myself am in the processing of walking towards marriage with a wonderful TG, I agree with you on "get to know her better first before committing...". U need to see her in all sorts of everyday environment and vice versa. However, getting to know the gal alone is not good enough, cos most TGs are very close to their families and often has the desire to take care of their parents. I think it is very very important to get to know the family well, and see how your tirak behaves in her family setting. What you see (her family) will may either assure you or turn you off. There are enough r/s that finally failed cos of the extreme demands from her family, even if she herself is a good gal. Her ties to her family may make it impossible for the guy to live with.
Having said that, if the family is good, they will interestingly need your assurance that you are a good man for their daughter, for they too would have probably heard nasty stories of other ppl's daughters getting cheated.
In addition, you 2 need to do things that you expect to be doing together most of the time when you are finally together as man/wife. That will be a real test. Spending time together having a lot of fun (Bpai Tiao) that u won;t normally do when u live together in future will not be a reflection of reality. For my case, we really enjoy doing "family things" together, more than anything else.
phasaa thai is indeed a nice language to learn. sounds like singing especially when the females speak. also like the way they go "ka" or "ja" when you talk to them... i personally find it more interesting when u forge ahead and learn the local dialets like phasaa nuer, tai and/or issan.
good luck in your relationship!
U are probably right. Maybe I can learn some Issan from my tirak's mum cos she can speak that language, and asked me if I want to learn. But for now, I want to focus on learning to read/write. Cos it is important if eventually, "pom yaak yoo meung Thai". Also fun to learn the alphabets together with our little one. We go thru his schoolbooks together. We are at the same level, but he's really tok kong, and I still blur blur. Actually he teaches me :D
tirak69
12-07-2004, 02:46 PM
A lot definitely depends on the guy's own qualification (this is paper-chasing SG after all), and income level. If you can prove that you can support her (eg, by the taxes you pay) w/o her needing to work, it should be easier.
Even though I myself am in the processing of walking towards marriage with a wonderful TG, I agree with you on "get to know her better first before committing...". U need to see her in all sorts of everyday environment and vice versa. However, getting to know the gal alone is not good enough, cos most TGs are very close to their families and often has the desire to take care of their parents. I think it is very very important to get to know the family well, and see how your tirak behaves in her family setting. What you see (her family) will may either assure you or turn you off. There are enough r/s that finally failed cos of the extreme demands from her family, even if she herself is a good gal. Her ties to her family may make it impossible for the guy to live with.
Having said that, if the family is good, they will interestingly need your assurance that you are a good man for their daughter, for they too would have probably heard nasty stories of other ppl's daughters getting cheated.
In addition, you 2 need to do things that you expect to be doing together most of the time when you are finally together as man/wife. That will be a real test. Spending time together having a lot of fun (Bpai Tiao) that u won;t normally do when u live together in future will not be a reflection of reality. For my case, we really enjoy doing "family things" together, more than anything else.
family ties are very important to thais... esp those that come from the province/villages. the mum is usually the sole provider and the daughter all pitch in to help. the reason why she is a WL is to earn more $$ so that she can provide for her parents and siblings since her looks allow her that luxury of earning easy money. speak to most of them and they will say its the family situation that turns them to the sex trade. am not saying all speak the truth but most are telling the truth even though it sounds cliched... after soaking in the nite scene you will know who tell the truth or not... else time will tell.
to accept the thai girl you must also accept their family and maybe even to the extent of helping out. meeting them understanding their demands for marrying their daughter will be a good indication if they are sharpening their knives for the "farang" kill.
my advice is to take time and not rush into it blindly... know the girl well cause marriage its a life long commitment (cliched but true) and make sure you can accept all the frills that come along with her... present and past. if not then better think very carefully. no need to rush if she really loves you... she can wait one.
cyrus
12-07-2004, 03:32 PM
Hey Bros,
Sorry to side track .. I'm planning to bring my tirak not WL leaw in BKK to Austria (weekend drive to venice, Italy) for my business trip ... for 3 weeks. Any recommendation of tour agent in BKK tam visa ... tau rai?
Coz fly her to SG then fly together is cheaper ... via ThaiAir.
On her and her family, her family doesn't seems to object me seeing her .. in fact her friends and neighbours all knows about us and I'm from Sillypore and 34 yo.. 11 years older than her ... but I looked about her age ... and she didn't like the typical thai puchai.
Thaivisitor,
Guess my situation is in between yours and the normal style of falling in love. Maybe better to describe it as SDU-style. My friend's Thai wife (also her friend) asked me after my breakup with my ex-tirak (now she's only my nong saao) if I am interested to meeting Rain again. I asked myself what's the harm, since I have always liked her and had wanted to get to know her seriously 1.5 years ago anyway.
Now that I was told she has a kid, it didn't turn me off cos I wanted someone more matured this time. She was okay as well, cos she too had good memories of our past friendship, but was rather skeptical I would accept her motherhood status, until we met (with her 2 best frds - with my permission). It was kind of interesting we still reacognised each other from afar after so long. Her frds could see that I am very much a family-oriented man (like she is also family-oriented), and they think she should give it a go. At the end of the day, we agree to date seriously with the objective of getting married if we like each other enough and fall in love.
Initial fears on her part were issues like,
Am I interested in her just to meet my physical needs or am I really the loving/caring person I was introducred to her as?
Am I on a rebound from my ex-relationship?
Will I crumble if my ex wants to come back?
Can I really accept her status as a divorcee with 4 year old kid and love him?
etc
On my part, I was concerned
Is she really a good woman as introduced to me or just out to con me?
What about her parents? Are they gold diggers like many others Ii have heard about?
Will the son like me?
Will I like the son enough to love him as my own?
etc
At one point, her 2 friends were so worried that I would give up on her cos she took a while to let go of her bad memories of her past marriage and was afraid to love again. I told them that "faint heart never won fair lady" and I will hang on. I was rewarded for my patience and tenacity, as I saw how her love for me finally germinated, grew and blossomed.
After almost half a year of serious dating later, we had gone thru enough together to decide that we will take the plunge and commit to each other. There has been enough assurances on both ends to know that we love each other, only have and want each other, to the exclusion of all others. And on top of that, we were meeting a lot of our mutual needs, both emotional and practical.
To me, I think love can be developed if you like the person enough. I know of people who fall in love, married, but they just cannot stand each others habit, etc. They don't like the "person" and soon their world falls apart.
This is exactly what happened to us.We simply started dating, knowing that we like each other (and have always like each other since we met the 1st time 1.5 years ago). The liking grew into love over time, with me "falling in love" 1st I realised she is the woman I have been looking for, and she too took the plunge a little later, as she too came to the conclusion that I am the man for her (& her son's) life. We have learnt to talk to each other over issues as friends instead of having lovers' fights. We believe we can carry on the r/s to fruition.
Darkstorm
12-07-2004, 04:44 PM
Thaivisitor,
Guess my situation is in between yours and the normal style of falling in love. Maybe better to describe it as SDU-style. My friend's Thai wife (also her friend) asked me after my breakup with my ex-tirak (now she's only my nong saao) if I am interested to meeting Rain again. I asked myself what's the harm, since I have always liked her and had wanted to get to know her seriously 1.5 years ago anyway.
This is exactly what happened to us.We simply started dating, knowing that we like each other (and have always like each other since we met the 1st time 1.5 years ago). The liking grew into love over time, with me "falling in love" 1st I realised she is the woman I have been looking for, and she too took the plunge a little later, as she too came to the conclusion that I am the man for her (& her son's) life. We have learnt to talk to each other over issues as friends instead of having lovers' fights. We believe we can carry on the r/s to fruition.
I wish you all the best.
Good for you bro,
Communication is a very important aspect in a relationship. According to my experiences (this, by the way, is my 3rd marraige), and the books, articles, etc that I've read, many marriages and relationships broke down because of the lack of "quality" communication, not just lack of communication, like as you say, lovers fight, etc.
Having communication is important. An hour of going thru what happen to each of you everyday, discussing together the options to children's schooling and ECAs, planning together what to do during the weekends, etc, etc is very healthy. Things like that lah, you know. :)
I am fortunate that we have another thing going for us - our little boy. Just 3 nights ago, my tirak told me "Khor Tot" when I called her at her mum's place. I was puzzled and asked why. She said she was sorry she was irritated with me the night before coz it was that time of the month. I reminded her that she had already apologized in the morning and I had forgotten about it. She said, "No, what I really want to tell you was that I was telling my mum how bad I felt to be rude to u when our little one heard us talking. He got angry (mor hor is the word used here) with me for being upset with you! And he has refused to talk to me for the last half hour. He is really showing me how much he loves you and he misses you. Thanks for being so wonderful and giving him the fatherly love he never had. He sees you as his father now. Chan gor ruk kun maak gwaa liao.(I also love you more already)". Just as she said she wanted to - love me more each day.
Anyway called him to the phone and told him he should foregive Meh cos I've already done that. And that I love him and miss him too. He apparently went to hug and kiss her after that. He is very obedient and yet super intelligent,and one can reason with him - not bad at all for a 4+ year old.
My next morning started with a call from her to wake me up, just to say "Kit Teung Nah" - something she has never done
So the one who could have been the obstacle and kill off this r/s even before it could start is now the one who is the glue that bonds us together in times of stress. What a powerful secret weapon he is.
MrDevil
20-07-2004, 11:23 PM
I believe both bro thaivisitor and bro free serve as very good example and advisors for other bros who are on the verge or already in the similiar route.
I believe one of the most basic criteria that both of them shares in common is their readiness of committing for a long term relationship with their tirak. Beside being able to accept the other half past and present, financially stable, in the state getting ready to settle down and mature mindset. Without these, how could a girl (be it WL or not, be it local or thai) can commit her lifetime happiness and faith totally?
But then again, some of the bros who are still at early twenties who have yet to build his own foundation will find his journey full of obstales, no matter how true is their love to each other. Love alone will never enough to susbtain a long term relationship.
MrDevil
20-07-2004, 11:31 PM
Good for you bro,
Communication is a very important aspect in a relationship. According to my experiences (this, by the way, is my 3rd marraige), and the books, articles, etc that I've read, many marriages and relationships broke down because of the lack of "quality" communication, not just lack of communication, like as you say, lovers fight, etc.
Having communication is important. An hour of going thru what happen to each of you everyday, discussing together the options to children's schooling and ECAs, planning together what to do during the weekends, etc, etc is very healthy. Things like that lah, you know. :)
True, communication is even more important when both are separated by thousands of km. Otherwise, there will just too many in between gaps and both will not feel that they actually sharing each other life.
But then, not everyone has the luxury of relocating to live with their tirak, though many would probably wish to. Perhaps, with your years of experience in Thailand, some advise on the issue of relocating, business or employment opp, culture and language barriers will be valuable for bros here planning along that line.
I guess this forum has been clouded negatively for too long about tirak relationship which I believe we should share a more balance view for each bro to review and judge their own situation uniquely.
i got married one yr after ROD, and went thru quite a number of obstacles and it's been 11yrs now with 3 kids. and was lucky enough to be posted to BKK for abt 5yrs.
i would say cultural barrier is no.1 on the list and language 2nd.
the rest... it's the same as with any relationship, be it WL or not.
also depends on one's maturity and sense of responsibility if u really really want to take this route on marrying any foreigner.
alot of failed relationship being discussed in this forum if u observed are mostly "long-distance" that i feel personally are those type of cheongster relationship and of cos there are those i have seen locally here that have broke up as well.
chok dee krup.
same goes for me, i couldnt speak Thai and she also from village and being very young at that time it was those 2 barriers that i faced most of the time and we still have communications breakdown sometimes even now! ;)
actually come to think of it sometimes it's better in a r/s that you have these barriers. :p
the long distance i was referring were those in in the midst of the r/s and for yours already married at that time u were away i belief. i was also seperated for abt 2yrs when my kids and wife moved back to sg cos wanted my kids to go thru kindergarten here instead, and only came back once during those 2 yrs i was alone there.
yes if there's a will there's a way, and i am glad i had "tahan" and gone thru it.
i got married one yr after ROD, and went thru quite a number of obstacles and it's been 11yrs now with 3 kids. and was lucky enough to be posted to BKK for abt 5yrs.
i would say cultural barrier is no.1 on the list and language 2nd.
the rest... it's the same as with any relationship, be it WL or not.
also depends on one's maturity and sense of responsibility if u really really want to take this route on marrying any foreigner.
alot of failed relationship being discussed in this forum if u observed are mostly "long-distance" that i feel personally are those type of cheongster relationship and of cos there are those i have seen locally here that have broke up as well.
chok dee krup.
Cool. That's where I hope to walk to and further. Cultural differences challenge us to rise above ourselves to find out about the other, though I must confess that I probably made more effort to fit in, as I am the one who goes up, not the other way. But it also offers us an opportunity to open our minds to see the other world thru the eyes of our faen. Language barrier is less of a problem due to my personal interest in the Thai lang, the need to speak to our little boy and the desire to build a career there made sure I sustain my efforts to learn to speak, read and write this beautiful language that I have grown to love. For her it is harder, but the talking dict has been a useful aid (tho not as useful as my PDA ThaiDict)
It is my unreserved opinion that for a relationship to work, it cannot be Long Distance in nature in the long term. My LDTR status is but a temporary phase as we get to know each other, made the decision to commit and walk together till the day where our commitment is fulfilledat the altar. Hopefuly even before that day, we will be by each other side, where ever we chose to call "HOME" and definitely after that, living life as husband/wife/parents together.
Like I told my bosses in the past, to keep one's job, one must be prepared to lose it. Similarly to build a r/s that can last, one must not be afraid that it may not work out, nor be afraid that one may get cheated, etc. Precaution is wise, if not carried to the extreme, but distrust is a crippling prophecy to a doomed r/s. As I took the initiative to expose myself jing jing and be vulnerable to her, I see my tirak also doing the same. Transparency and trust are musts.
In my case (and I am sure in many more successful cases before me), we realise that love by itself cannot sustain a r/s. In fact I believe we did it differently from most r/s discussed in SB forum. We started by being transparent, learnt to trust, and in time, the love develops in a way I have never known before. It is not a wild, wanton, passionate (aka lustful) kind of erotic love, but one that builds upon itself, where gentle peace and steadfastness prevails. And the knowledge that both are committed to do one's best to make it work. A beautiful & matured sort of love (gosh I think I sound old). I dun know how else to describe it, but I really dig it. And for communication - yes I would say we have consistent if not constant communication by phone (be it land line or mobile). We call each other often (6-10 calls a day and growing). When she calls, she made it a point to talk (at least 1 minute, often more), not put down the phone immediately for me to call back. "Wasting money?" one may ask. But to her, talking to me is better than yakking with frds not so impt to her, and she still controls her hp budget very tightly.
But we dun need to talk for long. Often just hearing each other's voice and knowing the other is OK, is good enough.
maybe some would think i was too young or immature at age of 23 to get married! as it has always been my intention to get married ... young.
I didnt have the "phases" BUT only the "Just Do It" thing(within 6mths) and worry about the rest as i go along, learning Thai, having kids, and career all at once! :p
maybe some would think i was too young or immature at age of 23 to get married! as it has always been my intention to get married ... young.
I didnt have the "phases" BUT only the "Just Do It" thing(within 6mths) and worry about the rest as i go along, learning Thai, having kids, and career all at once!
That's doing it like Nike :cool: ! Actually I broke it up in phases for the benefit of some bros who wanted to know how I know how far along a relationship I (or they) am in. In reality, it is one continuous spectrum. It is possible however to identify certain milestones, especially the critical ones like:
The day both parties starting dating cos for whatever reasons, they think maybe there can be something more to their friendship (may not be in love yet)
Both decide (decision got to be mutually) that they like/love each other enough to work towards marriage
The actual day of the marriage
I want to emphasize that it is not 3 separate journeys but ONE continuous spectrum. The 3 phases only serve as reference points for me to understand how far we have come. I dun think my tirak even see any "phases". It's how she feels about the whole thing that matters :) .
siamcutey
21-07-2004, 05:32 PM
Experiences are meant to be shared after it has been experienced.
Those that fail belong to the category where they talk too much, think too much scenarios (which never happen), thinking of ways and means to justify actions.
Talk is cheap.
:cool:
SC
Mercenary19
21-07-2004, 05:50 PM
And for communication - yes I would say we have consistent if not constant communication by phone (be it land line or mobile). We call each other often (6-10 calls a day and growing). When she calls, she made it a point to talk (at least 1 minute, often more), not put down the phone immediately for me to call back. "Wasting money?" one may ask. But to her, talking to me is better than yakking with frds not so impt to her, and she still controls her hp budget very tightly.
But we dun need to talk for long. Often just hearing each other's voice and knowing the other is OK, is good enough.
Wow! Those phone bills must be very high, considering long distance call. :eek:
Wow! Those phone bills must be very high, considering long distance call. :eek:
For now, both set of bills comes up to S$400~$450+.
I used Singtel Hello Card. Buy S$100 from POSB ATM & get S$15 free. 25 cents per minute to mobile phone in Thailand (free local call if from land line cos 1800 number). 1516 as 1st line backup. IDD as final backup. Normally try to call her at Condo phone, cos cheaper. But sometimes line is bad (condo phone system not good) so gotta call again to hp. As far as I know, one can also purchase $10 Hello card from shops in GL for S$8. Sounds a bit cheaper, but $10 Cards get used up fast - too much hassle for me. BTW, someone recommended me Di Yi Jia card - cheaper so will explore. Tried in the past, but bad connection to ChiangRai. Maybe BKK (& just outside) is OK.
Sounds strange hp better than condo land line (must be old system), but its true. Dial up to Internet (Pacific Internet Extreme at 99 baht unlimited access for 5 days) gives me only 20kps in condo (can;t even read email properly, let alone do my work) while I get 50+kps if I go to her mum's place to dialup- about 10-20 mins away by taxi. That's why I spend a fair bit of time at her mum's place. And they like the idea of seeing me working anyway. I negotiated with my company to be able to work remote when I can, so leave+weekends+remote work days = quite a lot of time spent with her :cool:
Whether my experiences are true or pretend, I have no need to prove anything. Those who have met me. or my tirak or even my ex will know that. Up to bros to believe, I just want to present a balanced view, even if they are different.
MrDevil
22-07-2004, 12:53 AM
For now, both set of bills comes up to S$400~$450+.
I used Singtel Hello Card. Buy S$100 from POSB ATM & get S$15 free. 25 cents per minute to mobile phone in Thailand (free local call if from land line cos 1800 number). 1516 as 1st line backup. IDD as final backup. Normally try to call her at Condo phone, cos cheaper. But sometimes line is bad (condo phone system not good) so gotta call again to hp. As far as I know, one can also purchase $10 Hello card from shops in GL for S$8. Sounds a bit cheaper, but $10 Cards get used up fast - too much hassle for me. BTW, someone recommended me Di Yi Jia card - cheaper so will explore. Tried in the past, but bad connection to ChiangRai. Maybe BKK (& just outside) is OK.
Sounds strange hp better than condo land line (must be old system), but its true. Dial up to Internet (Pacific Internet Extreme at 99 baht unlimited access for 5 days) gives me only 20kps in condo (can;t even read email properly, let alone do my work) while I get 50+kps if I go to her mum's place to dialup- about 10-20 mins away by taxi. That's why I spend a fair bit of time at her mum's place. And they like the idea of seeing me working anyway. I negotiated with my company to be able to work remote when I can, so leave+weekends+remote work days = quite a lot of time spent with her :cool:
Whether my experiences are true or pretend, I have no need to prove anything. Those who have met me. or my tirak or even my ex will know that. Up to bros to believe, I just want to present a balanced view, even if they are different.
bro free, not sure if you have explored if there are any IDD card that offer call back service where you could call oversea via their call back. This should save you on your mobile bill, especially if you are using your mobile to call most of the time. It will be even cheaper if you setup a Net-Telephony on your tirak home. You can buy it from Sim Lim for about $200 for a pair where if both pair calling is totally free of charge. You dont need it to work with a pc, just connect the unit with the phone and line. To call mobile, there is a small charge, close to net-phone charge. Forgotten the name of the shop, it should be at 3rd storey where the shop display lots of net-telephony equipments. Will share with you the full info when I got back to Spore in 2 weeks time. I think this is worth all the savings on the phone bill. This way, both of you could talk non-stop. hehehehee
I must applaud you and other bros for spending so much time and sharing so much valuable experiences, thoughts and info to have a balance view in tirak and long distance relationship. It's pointless for one to instill only negative perspective and generalise everyone within the same category, it's not going to wake anyone up as every situation is unique. Perhaps by sharing more factual info and experiences can help those in need to serve as a reference on how they could strengthen their position and walk smoother in their journey. Well afterall, none is earning anything for spending their time to share.
bro free, not sure if you have explored if there are any IDD card that offer call back service where you could call oversea via their call back. This should save you on your mobile bill, especially if you are using your mobile to call most of the time. It will be even cheaper if you setup a Net-Telephony on your tirak home. You can buy it from Sim Lim for about $200 for a pair where if both pair calling is totally free of charge. You dont need it to work with a pc, just connect the unit with the phone and line. To call mobile, there is a small charge, close to net-phone charge. Forgotten the name of the shop, it should be at 3rd storey where the shop display lots of net-telephony equipments. Will share with you the full info when I got back to Spore in 2 weeks time. I think this is worth all the savings on the phone bill. This way, both of you could talk non-stop. hehehehee
I must applaud you and other bros for spending so much time and sharing so much valuable experiences, thoughts and info to have a balance view in tirak and long distance relationship. It's pointless for one to instill only negative perspective and generalise everyone within the same category, it's not going to wake anyone up as every situation is unique. Perhaps by sharing more factual info and experiences can help those in need to serve as a reference on how they could strengthen their position and walk smoother in their journey. Well afterall, none is earning anything for spending their time to share.
Thanks, I WILL explore. But have to be after I come back cos me working like shit till Sunday with 1.5hr to spare from the end of the class I am teaching to my flight :eek: Or maybe do it while I am there if possible.
Talking about factual experience, I got a false alarm today. On looking back, I had been inevitably affected by much of the warnings I read in SB and it kind of put me on guard. As usual we were having our after-lunch-talk. She told me her mum had gone ahead to seek the monk's advice to select the opening date for our shop (WEEK 1 August), cos the shop is almost ready. She asked me if I mind, or if I prefer to be there to check out the monk, she will tell her mum to wait for me first, and get a new date. I told her it is OK - might as well open for biz earlier since it is ready. But I will have to miss the 1st 2 days cos I got to teach a class back here, if she is OK go ahead. She is, cos several of her friends will be there to help. The next thing she said gave me a shock - that I dun need to come up as her girlfriends will be around and she will be very busy and also her friends might find my presence awkward (haven;t met all of them yet - only her close ones for now). Though I was upset, I did not show it. I definitely wanted to be there during the 1st week. ALL the alarm bells started ringing in my mind! Now that the shop is almost done, does it mean that I am not needed/wanted anymore?
To buy myself some time, I told her I am busy and we can talk when I come on Sunday night. Left things at that and was pretty moody for the day. Later we talked again as I was making my way back from work (we have the habit calling each other after we finished doing a major task). She tells me that she has been thinking all afternoon about our lunch conversation, and was not comfortable with me not coming 1st week August for the opening week and she would miss me terribly and would very much love my presence - unless I am too busy. And our boy definitely would like me to be around for his birthday too. Replied I would love to be there. Unless she doesn;t want me there. Plus of course I want to be with little Icecream for his birthday. She said she really wants me to be there with her, cos she wants me to see the shop in operation and give her comments, as well as meet ALL her friends. She said she had already told them we are going to get married next year, and she is poom jai (proud) to introduce me to them. I teased her now that I have lost 9kg, can show off a bit liao, kekeke. Also, she really wants the 3 of us to spend time as a family on our little one's birthday (sounds familiar? haha). Asked her why this noon, she asked me not to go. She said she was just thinking loudly about the options in her mind and does not want to impose on me and insist that I come up, even though she would like me to. She was also concerned she would be too busy to take care of me. But she realised I am more impt to her than her frds and I will come before them. I replied that I will help out or at most, work on my notebook at the shop, since there is a table/counter. Also told her there is always Pantip Plaza for me. [On hindsight, I realised that her behaviour was as normal as can be]
So what is the moral of the story? If I had not known her better, I may have suspected (or worse, accuse ) her of trying to do all sorts of things, and that I am no longer important to her now that my usefulness is gone. And create a fuss that will definitely hurt her and pushed her away, instead of drawing her nearer. Told her what went thru my mind, cos of the negative stuff I hear around me all the time. She understands and reminded me that there is also another side to the coin - TGs get cheated too. Glad I tried not to make any hasty conclusions and just wait for events to unfold. Ultimately my trust in her was confirmed yet once again. Thank goodness I had learnt from my previous experience when I was more hasty,
cyrus
22-07-2004, 04:42 AM
Hey guys,
if its only to call one another ... you can use Skype .. its very good .. can even work through firewall. very good clarity.
http://www.skype.com/
We often hear talks of TGs having fun with another Puchai & at the same time having a chat with their sponsor. It is true. I know cos I have been there myself. .Only this time, the sponsor is a Thai and the puchai "under the sheets" was none other than myself :o She is only 23. young, fair, pretty with a hot bod, but dependent on her "Pi" for her high standard of living - to the tune of 50k baht a month. Decided that night I will NOT afford this kind of puying, but since I am "caught". might as well "finish the job"
Here's the story:
Remember not too long ago, 4/5 March to be exact (before I met my tirak and we started dating each other), there was one chio thai bird who came down to my regular BKK pub to meet me cos I happened to be there (after my breakup) and gave her a call. She said she will come just to accompany me, and when saw her black halter top with plunging neckline, I knew she had more than keeping me company in her mind. She later confessed she had always fancied me - maybe cos I was a challenge to her as I never jao chuu'ed while I was with my ex, while I had fancied her since the 1st time I saw her at Changi airport when she arrived - could have easily drawn 1st blood that night, but never did (as I had retired from bonking). She was not free to stay & spend a lot of time with me that night cos her Pi {sponsor} was coming to her condo, but promised to see me again the next night, as he will be away. And she did come again to meet with me. The activities for the next 36 hrs were something I had not experienced for long time (no details needed here, kekeke). End of the day, I did not have to pay her for the time we spent together. Just dinner at MK and bought her 5CDs and a lipstick. Sure I paid for the drinks we had at Rad's and the chinese tea we had at a cheapo karaoke she brought me to (she wanted to sing her heart out). Total < 5k Baht.
But what strikes me most that while we were "under the sheets", her Pi called and scolded her for switching off her hp the night before (when we were dancing at a pub, Rad). Earlier she was tipsy and had decided to off her hp in case he called and she didn't want him to know she had been drinking with me or worse with another guy. I normally dun drink but how to refuse her offer to share drinks from the same glass, since I was single again? She put her finger to her lips and I knew what to do - just keep quiet. What else can I do, as I am already there? After the call, where she gave all sorts of stories to placate him, it was all systems go again. Today I still talk to her occasionally, but u can imagine that was the last time I dated her, as I met my tirak immediately the next night. I have to say the difference between my tirak and her are night and day. This gal played solid KC with me and gave me anything I wanted & many times at that, over the whole night and next morning till late afternoon (no real breakfast/lunch even), when we went to the restaurant in the hotel for early dinner, and go shopping. Guess I was her conquest - the guy she couldn't entice when I was previously attached. I guess she was tired of her Sponsor and tot maybe I would wanna pick up the tab? For me, I was just out for well, pure sex after 1 yr of celibacy.
On the contrary, the woman I want to marry today has yet to play KC with me after 6 months of serious dating! Winning her love/trust was hard work, but worth every ounce of effort. Just dun know how to explain it. I am a much happier man today cos I know I am building a long term r/s - hopefully to last.
Hey guys,
if its only to call one another ... you can use Skype .. its very good .. can even work through firewall. very good clarity.
http://www.skype.com/
My tirak cannot lah, at least not for now. She see PC already bpuat hua, cos memories of her previous accounts job. Must simulate regular phone. Things may change when we go to new place with proper line. If Webcam can work for 56k modem, even if jerky, skype is on :D
Hey guys,
if its only to call one another ... you can use Skype .. its very good .. can even work through firewall. very good clarity.
http://www.skype.com/
FYI, Skype works well even when I used a 56k modem access in Chiangrai to talk to someone in office. Better then hp even, except for the slight delay.
MrDevil
22-07-2004, 11:19 AM
Hey guys,
if its only to call one another ... you can use Skype .. its very good .. can even work through firewall. very good clarity.
http://www.skype.com/
Skype will need to operate via a pc, there are a dozen more similiar service.
serembanmen
22-07-2004, 12:43 PM
:rolleyes: U ar right!!
siamcutey
22-07-2004, 05:27 PM
Perhaps by sharing more factual info and experiences can help those in need to serve as a reference on how they could strengthen their position and walk smoother in their journey. Well afterall, none is earning anything for spending their time to share.
But a pity, what we see often on the net is not factual and should be taken with a pinch of salt. Some stories on net were made up to make the cinderella story look beautiful and touching.
True that none is earning anything for spending their time to share, but you wouldn't know they have a face to earn :cool:
hahaha
SC
what we see often on the net is not factual and should be taken with a pinch of salt
I supposed what u have posted in your stories are also included, or are they an exception? :rolleyes:
Well, in my story, old prince ugly and his pretty & young cinderella did beak up after 1 year due to reasons that are common in normal BGRs, for reasons different from what some predicted (not everything that occured must happen in the same bitter manner).
Yet moving along the same line with the same mentality, he's found a matured and even more beautiful Snow White, and LDTR Book 2 began, wiser and even better. Still good friends with Cinderella, cos no reason to make enemies, as decision to split was mutual :)
BkkPattaya
22-07-2004, 05:54 PM
Juat share a little something which you guys may already know off.
Found this prepaid phonecard salled "Sawatdee", $10 stored value gets me 61 mins on a thai handphone.
Golden Mile selling $8.5
Geylang $8
Bedok $9
Only one fixed value, no other denominations.
So far I have used abt 25 cards and no problems with connection or clarity to date. Hope this helps the budget conscious. :p
Juat share a little something which you guys may already know off.
Found this prepaid phonecard salled "Sawatdee", $10 stored value gets me 61 mins on a thai handphone.
Golden Mile selling $8.5
Geylang $8
Bedok $9
Only one fixed value, no other denominations.
So far I have used abt 25 cards and no problems with connection or clarity to date. Hope this helps the budget conscious. :p
Thanks brother. I suppose your area is around BKK? Had tried Sawatdee to call ChiangRai and it was bad. Hello Card much better. If BKK is it, I will definitely go and buy one and try. Why dun they have it in bigger denominations? :confused: A lot of hassle to reprogram hp each time.
BkkPattaya
23-07-2004, 12:49 PM
Thanks brother. I suppose your area is around BKK? Had tried Sawatdee to call ChiangRai and it was bad. Hello Card much better. If BKK is it, I will definitely go and buy one and try. Why dun they have it in bigger denominations? :confused: A lot of hassle to reprogram hp each time.
I used the card for 2 areas, kanchanaburi and pattaya. I have a friend who used it for BKK, so far no complain.
B.Bollocks
23-07-2004, 02:02 PM
Bro, u mean a house in Thailand or in S'pore? Well I am seeing a ex WL, did it because of family like many other gals. I dun care about what happened and we are now trying to see if she can adapt to life here. I can't find a job in Bkk despite sending like 30 CVs........According to a recruitment agency, there are too many ang mohs that want to work there..........and by the way, I'm 28 and she's 25.
bro, i salute u...u have an open mind....
MrDevil
23-07-2004, 04:38 PM
But a pity, what we see often on the net is not factual and should be taken with a pinch of salt. Some stories on net were made up to make the cinderella story look beautiful and touching.
True that none is earning anything for spending their time to share, but you wouldn't know they have a face to earn :cool:
hahaha
SC
what we see often on the net is not factual and should be taken with a pinch of salt
I supposed what u have posted in your stories are also included, or are they an exception? :rolleyes:
Well, in my story, old prince ugly and his pretty & young cinderella did beak up after 1 year due to reasons that are common in normal BGRs, for reasons different from what some predicted (not everything that occured must happen in the same bitter manner).
Yet moving along the same line with the same mentality, he's found a matured and even more beautiful Snow White, and LDTR Book 2 began, wiser and even better. Still good friends with Cinderella, cos no reason to make enemies, as decision to split was mutual :)
None could predict the future or guaranteed a relationship (with any nationalities) will be fruitfull after sweat of labor. End of the day, if one has tried his best and did nothing to regret, I believe he will be able to stand up again standing taller and walk another journey smoother.
Experience or stories, regardless if factual or beautify, are all fall upon the receipient to digest and absorb. Some points could be useful to serve as reference but each situation and person is unique asothers which may not be completely applicable.
Just as I am posting this, I myself at a cross junction to decide if I should abandon the journey that has just started or just act as another passerby or persist to continue even foreseeing more stones and holes ahead than expected. Would I rely on anyone experience or story to decide?
None could predict the future or guaranteed a relationship (with any nationalities) will be fruitfull after sweat of labor. End of the day, if one has tried his best and did nothing to regret, I believe he will be able to stand up again standing taller and walk another journey smoother.
Experience or stories, regardless if factual or beautify, are all fall upon the receipient to digest and absorb. Some points could be useful to serve as reference but each situation and person is unique asothers which may not be completely applicable.
Just as I am posting this, I myself at a cross junction to decide if I should abandon the journey that has just started or just act as another passerby or persist to continue even foreseeing more stones and holes ahead than expected. Would I rely on anyone experience or story to decide?
I feel blessed that I am not in your boat. Ja Bpai Saai, ruu Kwaa? Dtrong Bpai Gor Dai? (To go left or right? Straight ahead also can?) It is tough - something that I honestly dun think I can deal with. I can only guess if there is acceptance on the end that is needed, I will carry on. But should I eventually have to leave that end behind, I think I will do my part to help preserve that beautiful end - ensure that the drastic changes that had been made out of faith in you can continue to persevere.
Well, I share out of a sincere heart to help some who may be in the same boat (or stepping in) to see the other options/possibilties available. While some may treat what I write as beautified fiction or whatever they might call it, it is not my problem nor concern. They should simply ignore my stories if it irks them that much. To each his own. For I walk my life's walk independently and I do not need to seek the approval of others, be they fellow pilgrims (or fallen ones?) or just bystanders. However, when others offer pearls of wisdom, I will consider and if they makes sense, embrace them.
My life journey still goes on, and whether I finally reach where I hope to go, only I will reap the rewards or suffer the consequences. I had fallen once and I am not too proud to see/admit the mistakes we both made, but it does not mean I will fail again - at least not in the same way. Key thing is I had learnt from my previous experience as to what works and what dun, and don't repeat my mistakes, and I know that she has too, or it would be tough to still be good friends. For sure, the single biggest glaring thing that was wrong with my earlier experience was totally eliminated with the maturity or older age of the woman I now chose (actually more the experience she had), and it is showing by the rate of real progress we had made over the last 6 months. It is good to have a tirak who have not given me reasons to even suspect that there may be another party lurking around the corner. What sweet Peace of Mind. Something I had thought will be impossible with TGs, but then how many TGs do I know then? Now that I am experiencing it, I count my blessings and say "YES!"
cyrus
23-07-2004, 05:38 PM
Bro, u mean a house in Thailand or in S'pore? Well I am seeing a ex WL, did it because of family like many other gals. I dun care about what happened and we are now trying to see if she can adapt to life here. I can't find a job in Bkk despite sending like 30 CVs........According to a recruitment agency, there are too many ang mohs that want to work there..........and by the way, I'm 28 and she's 25.
I'm not too sure but finding a job in BKK and earn Thai Baht ... for Sillyporean .. silly .. unless you are required by your office to station there lah.
siamcutey
23-07-2004, 07:00 PM
I didn't know my comments were not taken with a pinch of salt.
Maybe I should put a disclaimer. :cool:
A Pure Coincidence if what I said happens to be anyone in here.
SC
I'm not too sure but finding a job in BKK and earn Thai Baht ... for Sillyporean .. silly .. unless you are required by your office to station there lah.
Agree.This is one track I am working on and the possibility is high. The other is of course to start your own biz (tough). The final one I am exploring has to do with the skills I have and there are companies in Thailand that may be prepared to engage me. These range from feeign companies (SG inclluded) as well as a couple of the larger Thai companies. In a way I benefitted from the FTA which is forcing many of the previously protected Thai companies to improve themselves in order to compete.
Maybe bros can also explore these possiblities
cyrus
24-07-2004, 03:29 AM
Agree.This is one track I am working on and the possibility is high. The other is of course to start your own biz (tough). The final one I am exploring has to do with the skills I have and there are companies in Thailand that may be prepared to engage me. These range from feeign companies (SG inclluded) as well as a couple of the larger Thai companies. In a way I benefitted from the FTA which is forcing many of the previously protected Thai companies to improve themselves in order to compete.
Maybe bros can also explore these possiblities
In fact everything is tough ... but the enthusiasm, perserverence and other factors will see you through, tio boh?? In general, Sillyporean are kia-soo, kia-see, kia lau lee. Always expecting lau goh's team to step in and provide financial assistance. KNN. Coming back to the topic, bro free, I believe you in the IT right? Good for you to have the know-how that these local co. can engage you leh. Me in finance .. pai-tan-chia. :o
In fact everything is tough ... but the enthusiasm, perserverence and other factors will see you through, tio boh??
I agree 90%. Gone thru enough in life to know that the above are critical today;s world. Not the only factors, but pre-requisites. Networking is also very important and often gives you an advantage when all else are equal. And COMPETENCE is also the key today. Being good is not enough today, for the good and faithful get retrenched. It is not even enough to be very good. Just to stay in the game, one has to be excellent in what one does. And to win, one's got to be outstanding. Learnt this from Anthony Robbins, and it is reality in today's world.
In general, Sillyporean are kia-soo, kia-see, kia lau lee. Always expecting lau goh's team to step in and provide financial assistance. KNN. Coming back to the topic, bro free, I believe you in the IT right? Good for you to have the know-how that these local co. can engage you leh. Me in finance .. pai-tan-chia. :o
True, Thailand not the place for Finance ppl, at least not yet. Reason why I intend to move up is that after all these years of trying to do my part for my country, I have had enough. Done somethings that put SG on the world map, but so what? U know what, quite a few of us in the industry were able to forsee the China problem (investments going there and not coming here) many years ago and told the relevant ppl so. In 1996, I was already planning for the company I was in to move to China (Putong), But the "scholars" up there tot they knew better, couldn;t care less and think we were nuts, cos we got only 1 piece of paper or even dun have any. Our country never got prepared for what is to come, so when it finally came, all kena blur. MNCs shipped out. I was even responsible for one case where I put a system in place in China, train the ppl and it worked so well (match quality/lead time here, but super low cost) that HQ decided to shut down the plant here. Decide to leave cos didn't want to go China. Mei Meis dun attract me leh.
Worse, our SMEs didn't wake up cos they were sheltered, crippled and lame, not able to think for themselves cos they either didn;t want to (depend on zheng hu), dun know how to, and the zheng hu got all the "paper-based" institutions (many a waste of time) to "help" but led them nowhere. If that is not enough, they may not be allowed to do what they want cos it is not orthordox or is in a gray area not defined explicitly in their official B&W book, blah blah. Analogous to if u dun see an U-turn sign, cannot u-turn, while in other places (LOS included), one can u-turn unless u see a sign that say cannot. How to do thing like that?
Meanwhile, costs shoots sky high. I "saw" these even earlier on when I was in Peurto Rico, but those guys would not bother. Now we are suffering as a country - of course I mean mostly the general heartlanders. But there are exceptions where middle incomers got really hit too. Today they give us a new name "technopreneur". Things are slightly better with this new title, but not much really. A lot of lip service. Look at our creative Mr. Sim. They treat him like god, roll out the red carpet for him and asked him to come & share/speak. Yet in the end they still dun listen cos what he said (perfectly correct in my opinion) is not what they want to hear so he sort of pack up and go to China to do his thingy. What can small fries like me do here?
Seen enough. Might as well go to somewhere where I can contribute, be happy and have a higher quality of life. The losses I make if I sell my home here today can buy 2-3 landed properties up there, but and that is already in the works.
BTW, my area of IT is rather specialised. One can call it Engineering IT. So happens that LOS can use or even need my skills for the forseeable future, esp the big Engineering companies who aspire to be world class. Thinking of doing work that involves imparting these skills to the engineering professionals there - done a small project funded by the Thai govt already. Several companies in mother land has already benefited with the work I have done for them, including some GLCs. Today, these success stories becomes a stepping stone & case studies for me. Glad I worked like a dog in the past & strived to be the best in my field. Today even though I am not a farang (only a kon-chin dtaang-chart), I can compete with farangs any time (usually win over them) in the area of my work, so I do have more opportunities. But I want to increase my opportunities (be outstanding) by working hard to learn Pasar Thai (speak/read/write). Guess what, from my own experience with our little one, my written thai is at the same level as a 5 yr old thai kid in kindergarten, :o . So we learn together, kekeke.
Having said that, I recognize LOS is a different ballgame and I have a lot to learn from the lau chiau bizmen and professionals, esp those in manufacturing (driver of LOS economy) & those already living there and doing it right. But that, I mean a good career/biz and a happy & settled family, like I hope to have with my Rain. And I am also happy to share what I know with others who think they can benefit. If we SGreans who want to go up or are already up, don't help each other, who will?
BTW, this thread should be name MIA DTAANG CHART (Foreigner's Wife) cos no angmos here at all. Haha
cyrus
24-07-2004, 11:50 AM
True, Thailand not the place for Finance ppl, at least not yet. Reason why I intend to move up is that after all these years of trying to do my part for my country, I have had enough. Done somethings that put SG on the world map, but so what? U know what, quite a few of us in the industry were able to forsee the China problem (investments going there and not coming here) many years ago and told the relevant ppl so. In 1996, I was already planning for the company I was in to move to China (Putong), But the "scholars" up there tot they knew better, couldn;t care less and think we were nuts, cos we got only 1 piece of paper or even dun have any. Our country never got prepared for what is to come, so when it finally came, almostblur. MNCs shipped out while SMEs didn't wake up cos they were sheltered, not able to think for themselves cos they either didn;t want to (depend on zheng hu) or not allowed to cos what they want to do is not orthordox or is in a gray area cos not in their official B&W book, blah blah.
Seen enough. Might as well go to somewhere where I can contribute, be happy and have a higher quality of life. The losses I make if I sell my home here today can buy 2-3 landed properties up there, but and that is already in the works.
Having said that, I recognize LOS is a different ballgame and I have a lot to learn from the lau chiau bizmen and professionals, esp those in manufacturing (driver of LOS economy) & those already living there and doing it right. But that, I mean a good career/biz and a happy & settled family, like I hope to have with my Rain. And I am also happy to share what I know with others who think they can benefit. If we SGreans who want to go up or are already up, don't help each other, who will?
Precisely why I'm planning to move up LOS, when everyone wants to move to down under or other ang moh place. Why pay so much to be a 2nd class citizen and being looked down by racist? Doing business is the same everywhere .. coz there's no right or wrong only have to think faster than others .. and shrewd (not back stabbing lah). I'm all hears to any bros here who's looking into LOS. Will likely go look see in Cambodia with a friends too.
Precisely why I'm planning to move up LOS, when everyone wants to move to down under or other ang moh place. Why pay so much to be a 2nd class citizen and being looked down by racist? Doing business is the same everywhere .. coz there's no right or wrong only have to think faster than others .. and shrewd (not back stabbing lah). I'm all hears to any bros here who's looking into LOS. Will likely go look see in Cambodia with a friends too.
Currently hatching something that ties India, Thailand, China, maybe Vietnam and Myanmar together, with LOS as the base of course. Establishing the network in these countries now. If any bros interested & think they can contribute, can pm me.
Actually I co-own a pub in BKK, but selling my equity since Rain and I not into pubs (dun drink/smoke) so might as well plough the cash into our retail shop. Actually the shop is meant for me to serve as starting base for other things to come. For her, it is also her way of catching her own fish. This one dun like to ask me for a fish everyday. Haha, I am trying to marry my fisherwoman :D
cyrus
24-07-2004, 01:53 PM
Currently hatching something that ties India, Thailand, China, maybe Vietnam and Myanmar together, with LOS as the base of course. Establishing the network in these countries now. If any bros interested & think they can contribute, can pm me.
Actually I co-own a pub in BKK, but selling my equity since Rain and I not into pubs (dun drink/smoke) so might as well plough the cash into our retail shop. Actually the shop is meant for me to serve as starting base for other things to come. For her, it is also her way of catching her own fish. This one dun like to ask me for a fish everyday. Haha, I am trying to marry my fisherwoman :D
Well, I'm not very into pubs. Can have kopi session soon to discuss leh.
Well, I'm not very into pubs. Can have kopi session soon to discuss leh.
In case anyone misunderstand, I am not trying to sell my equity here. Cos already got offer on the table from customers of the pub. That's why I thought might as well sell out since I dun like to go and she also dun like to go.
More interest in biz of a regional nature using LOS as base, or anything not centering around pubs or liquors.
cyrus
25-07-2004, 12:01 AM
In case anyone misunderstand, I am not trying to sell my equity here. Cos already got offer on the table from customers of the pub. That's why I thought might as well sell out since I dun like to go and she also dun like to go.
More interest in biz of a regional nature using LOS as base, or anything not centering around pubs or liquors.
Bro, like I say, not at all interested in such biz. But you are right about using LOS as the regional base, this is also what I'm more interested to talk about over kopi.
cyrus
25-07-2004, 12:21 AM
How about having kopi in the pub? :)
Kopi with whiskey ... I saw one russian guy drank before... can try out... Bro thaivisitor .. and free .. in SG now?
How about having kopi in the pub? :)
Wah lau, even diet coke I got to go myself and buy a couple of cans from 7/11 then put the extra in the fridge. Want kopi somemore? But if the price is right can always arrange :D
this is a good thread,just in time for me to find out some details.as my girl coming down oct to visit my parent just to know what i should do to ensure everything go smootly when going thru the airport immigrant.i ask my other thai frens they say no problem with them when going thru the airport custom but that when they came with their parent.my girl told me recently tlod me her fren was stop in the custom and ask to leave but his husband(expat)took out doc. to prove she is his legal wive then the custom let her in to sin.my girl know already say if like that nextime who want to come to sg ,every girl sespect of a pros/wl.
i got anything to proof as we still not rom yet,got to see my parent first then can followup pharse 2 .so what if she got problem in the airport any one have this experience before? btw my girl is is first time in sg and not a wl and she coming alone to stay at my house.that means everything on me so she no need any money.
this is a good thread,just in time for me to find out some details.as my girl coming down oct to visit my parent just to know what i should do to ensure everything go smootly when going thru the airport immigrant.i ask my other thai frens they say no problem with them when going thru the airport custom but that when they came with their parent.my girl told me recently tlod me her fren was stop in the custom and ask to leave but his husband(expat)took out doc. to prove she is his legal wive then the custom let her in to sin.my girl know already say if like that nextime who want to come to sg ,every girl sespect of a pros/wl.
i got anything to proof as we still not rom yet,got to see my parent first then can followup pharse 2 .so what if she got problem in the airport any one have this experience before? btw my girl is is first time in sg and not a wl and she coming alone to stay at my house.that means everything on me so she no need any money.
You have 2 options. One is the show money option as suggested by siamboy. This is to indicate that they are genuine tourists. Better yet, use a tour agency in Thailand to book hotel here. (Not aplicable in your case)
Other option is you be the sponsor and provide a letter for her to show to the immigration that she will be under your care while she is here. This letter will have to contain your personal particulars (name, NRIC, address + a photocopy of IC is even better) etc and you will be responsible for her return. This is the option I prefer to use. I will definitely wait for her at the arrival hall. If needed, she can call me and pass her hp to the immigration office to talk to me if she is stopped. Better yet, fly up and come down with her. Then guaranteed no problem.
thanks khun free and siamboy, i will definitely be at the airport to pick her up. eh can ask thai embassy to write letter? but do they entertain us?nabeh give her my atm card and i tranfer fund to the account if they want to see she got money or not.actually lastime not so problematic but recently got many china wl come to sg so dun know the ica will tight up their policy or not.
oh how come some tg apply social visa,i thought thai citizen no need visa if stay not more than 30 days.
i think hor it also depend on the custom officer,some sipeh kualan like my girl told me custom reject her fren from entering sg when she come with her husband who is a expat working and living here.
thanks khun free and siamboy, i will definitely be at the airport to pick her up. eh can ask thai embassy to write letter? but do they entertain us?nabeh give her my atm card and i tranfer fund to the account if they want to see she got money or not.actually lastime not so problematic but recently got many china wl come to sg so dun know the ica will tight up their policy or not.
oh how come some tg apply social visa,i thought thai citizen no need visa if stay not more than 30 days.
i think hor it also depend on the custom officer,some sipeh kualan like my girl told me custom reject her fren from entering sg when she come with her husband who is a expat working and living here.
No visa normally get 14 days. Good for u if you need more days ;) . Letter comes from you. Remember you personal particulars and why she is here. Reinforce it by adding Photocopy of IC since I inferred u got nothing to hide.If apply visa, 1 month is quite likely.
If u are already on for a while, u can do what I do for my tirak. I have 2 accounts with UOB 1 of which is a normal savings accounts (no book, only ATM). I then link my main account with this one so that I can use my card for both accounts and she can only see the designated ATM account whose ATM card I gave her. She can take money at any Thai ATM that has the PLUS logo. Transfering of money done by either a visit to ATM or Internet. Each time she withdraws is a S$5 charge, so she draw draw enough to cover the charge and put into her own bank. Cheaper then using remittance at GM ($12 per transaction) in my case. 1st she forgot only withdraw 100k B cos dun want to take too much. Kena "butter" from me (gently lah), now she remember liao. Remember daily limit for her to withdraw is 20k B. Anybigger sum than 20k, consider remittance. GPL at GM not bad. can transfer to their UOB or DBS account and give them a call, once u are their customer. No need to go down to GM even.
Maybe u already know all these.
cyrus
25-07-2004, 01:38 PM
thanks khun free and siamboy, i will definitely be at the airport to pick her up. eh can ask thai embassy to write letter? but do they entertain us?nabeh give her my atm card and i tranfer fund to the account if they want to see she got money or not.actually lastime not so problematic but recently got many china wl come to sg so dun know the ica will tight up their policy or not.
oh how come some tg apply social visa,i thought thai citizen no need visa if stay not more than 30 days.
i think hor it also depend on the custom officer,some sipeh kualan like my girl told me custom reject her fren from entering sg when she come with her husband who is a expat working and living here.
of coz lah .. KNN the CB custom officer .. envy mah ... can only pah chew cheng ... don't think you can ask embassy to write for you lah .. DIY lah. you give her your atm .. worse .. wait they think she steal from you .. worse!! .. think properly .. be rational here ..
eh i got one with ming express in gm already. i also had thought what you had done let her draw from one of my 2 account instead of remittence. huh no visa just 14 days ah , i thought they change to 30 days when the ties between sg and thai closed up during those pm visit in thailand.
knn my ic lost sia,jialat have to waste another few hundreds to redo.nabeh i use driving license to try la dun have so much money to do ic now.
hi khun cyrus atm card is to draw money not to show the custom.like that i no need everytime remittence waste time sia.i also not rich guy so have to little bit little send to her ,ask me 1 shot transfer to her i beh tahan lah.
eh i got one with ming express in gm already. i also had thought what you had done let her draw from one of my 2 account instead of remittence. huh no visa just 14 days ah , i thought they change to 30 days when the ties between sg and thai closed up during those pm visit in thailand.
knn my ic lost sia,jialat have to waste another few hundreds to redo.nabeh i use driving license to try la dun have so much money to do ic now.
Mai bpen rai. Driving licence also can lah. All they need is a photo ID. Today big brother can track u whereever u go. IC or Dr Lic, same same for govt dept. For visa application, give her a letter from yourself - address to "Whom it may concern" or the Singapore Immigration, giving reasons why she is invited to come - to meet yr mum, get to know ur mum, holiday, blah. She can take letter and go apply at the SG embassy in BKK for the visa. Depending on yr reasons, she may get up to 3 months. Same for us going up.
hi khun cyrus atm card is to draw money not to show the custom.like that i no need everytime remittence waste time sia.i also not rich guy so have to little bit little send to her ,ask me 1 shot transfer to her i beh tahan lah.
Got money also u should not send 1 shot. Unless the reason is genuine & u can personally verify and read.
cyrus
25-07-2004, 01:57 PM
hi khun cyrus atm card is to draw money not to show the custom.like that i no need everytime remittence waste time sia.i also not rich guy so have to little bit little send to her ,ask me 1 shot transfer to her i beh tahan lah.
Khun korb, phom khow jai leaw, mai pen rai. phom mai mee ruay meng garn krub.
Darkstorm
25-07-2004, 04:42 PM
In case anyone misunderstand, I am not trying to sell my equity here. Cos already got offer on the table from customers of the pub. That's why I thought might as well sell out since I dun like to go and she also dun like to go.
More interest in biz of a regional nature using LOS as base, or anything not centering around pubs or liquors.
Met up with Free and one other bro. I must say that based on our conversation, I would think that Free's case is likely to work out as it does not contain many of the pitfalls associated with the majority of the failure cases. His circumstances are also very different.
I do not post this to reassure Free of his relationship. I don't think he needs reassurance from anyone. I just wish to offer my opinion on the matter, based on what I have heard from him.
Mai bpen rai. Driving licence also can lah. All they need is a photo ID. Today big brother can track u whereever u go. IC or Dr Lic, same same for govt dept. For visa application, give her a letter from yourself - address to "Whom it may concern" or the Singapore Immigration, giving reasons why she is invited to come - to meet yr mum, get to know ur mum, holiday, blah. She can take letter and go apply at the SG embassy in BKK for the visa. Depending on yr reasons, she may get up to 3 months. Same for us going up.
this is good, korb jai peuan. ok know i think how to write a good letter.once i finish i post here so can some bros help to check whether it proper or not.i long time never write fomal letter my english is worst than my thai.
once again thanks to free
MrDevil
26-07-2004, 03:51 AM
I feel blessed that I am not in your boat. Ja Bpai Saai, ruu Kwaa? Dtrong Bpai Gor Dai? (To go left or right? Straight ahead also can?) It is tough - something that I honestly dun think I can deal with. I can only guess if there is acceptance on the end that is needed, I will carry on. But should I eventually have to leave that end behind, I think I will do my part to help preserve that beautiful end - ensure that the drastic changes that had been made out of faith in you can continue to persevere.
Well, I share out of a sincere heart to help some who may be in the same boat (or stepping in) to see the other options/possibilties available. While some may treat what I write as beautified fiction or whatever they might call it, it is not my problem nor concern. They should simply ignore my stories if it irks them that much. To each his own. For I walk my life's walk independently and I do not need to seek the approval of others, be they fellow pilgrims (or fallen ones?) or just bystanders. However, when others offer pearls of wisdom, I will consider and if they makes sense, embrace them.
My life journey still goes on, and whether I finally reach where I hope to go, only I will reap the rewards or suffer the consequences. I had fallen once and I am not too proud to see/admit the mistakes we both made, but it does not mean I will fail again - at least not in the same way. Key thing is I had learnt from my previous experience as to what works and what dun, and don't repeat my mistakes, and I know that she has too, or it would be tough to still be good friends. For sure, the single biggest glaring thing that was wrong with my earlier experience was totally eliminated with the maturity or older age of the woman I now chose (actually more the experience she had), and it is showing by the rate of real progress we had made over the last 6 months. It is good to have a tirak who have not given me reasons to even suspect that there may be another party lurking around the corner. What sweet Peace of Mind. Something I had thought will be impossible with TGs, but then how many TGs do I know then? Now that I am experiencing it, I count my blessings and say "YES!"
Hahahaah, its not too bad to be in my boat. Having got the advantage for being so close to someone and not having to commit too much and too deep for too long. As she knows her direction better, I am letting her to decide on the junction, afterall it doesn't matters much to me anymore. I have given her to key but she chosen to misuse it. Too bad, there is no second key.
You indeed have the right spirit and mentality in handling failures and relation. I believe those who follow your posting close enough will benefit and learn a thing or two in how to make their relationship with their tirak works. A valuable lesson that could hardly come across.
MrDevil
26-07-2004, 03:55 AM
Many times in my life, I've come to the corssroads as far as relationships are concerned. Without a doubt, I always take my own decisions and it is always to go ahead. Right or wrong, it doesn't matter but I would not be at peace with myself if I did not give myself the chance to find out.
I've never regreted my decisions, be it right or wrong. Some relationships last longer, some shorter, I never knew, and I didn't care. I enjoyed it while it last.
The same goes for my present wife. I cannot predict the future, whether it will be forever, or whether it will turn out like my previous. It doesn't matter. Of course I would prefer to have it last "til death do we part" but it doesn't matter.
I do what I think or feel is right, not on the opinions or advises of others, and faces the consequences myself, not blaming others.
Life goes on bro. :)
Yes right, I hold a pretty similiar principles as you. I enjoy and cherish every moment as it is, though I may not know if it will last forever or if I am the only one. This will ease both side a lot more to enjoy a sweeter relation.
thaiboy
27-07-2004, 10:28 PM
Bro freee, sorry the thread too long to follow, seem like your have new tirak? wat happen to the old tirak you love most?? never heard of your break off?? :confused:
khunchin
28-07-2004, 10:31 AM
Yes right, I hold a pretty similiar principles as you. I enjoy and cherish every moment as it is, though I may not know if it will last forever or if I am the only one. This will ease both side a lot more to enjoy a sweeter relation.
With this type of r/s, don't look too far ahead. I always tell my tirak there is always a tomorrow and this is as far as our relationship is........... :(
MrDevil
28-07-2004, 03:36 PM
With this type of r/s, don't look too far ahead. I always tell my tirak there is always a tomorrow and this is as far as our relationship is........... :(
good, as when things turn sour, you wont be as hurt if you really could hold on to your principle. If you dont insist to be the only one and forever, the relation will probably sweeter and last longer, I have seen enough tirak relation failed bcos of this.
MrDevil
28-07-2004, 06:10 PM
Good that we can think this way, but can they?
I now having problem already. Wanted to break off with one tirak (remember the one we had lunch together also working in Mirage) but she's still trying to insist not to break up leh... (sign) woman!
No harm to keep her if her maintaince is not too high and if she is not too troublesome, at least you got a free companion with you are in BKK. You in Hdy now? I fucking free and sian now, thought of heading north for a bachelor night or two.
MrDevil
28-07-2004, 11:32 PM
The maintenance is OK but I already got another 2 tirak in BKK mah, so must let go of one lah. since she with me for a year, guess she has to go lah. Of course she does the crying stuff but me too bull to soften leh. Maybe I slowly look for another one more tirak later again.
I'm now in HDY but I wll going to KL tomorrow, then to SG and back to HDY on Saturday night.
Sat nite in Hdy, perhaps I can spend my weekend there but too bad you dont drink. So must pull a kaki that can drink to join. I am cooling off with my girl also, so good time for bachelor night. It has been awhile since I enjoying bachelor time in HDY.
cyrus
28-07-2004, 11:42 PM
Good that we can think this way, but can they?
I now having problem already. Wanted to break off with one tirak (remember the one we had lunch together also working in Mirage) but she's still trying to insist not to break up leh... (sign) woman!
Hey bro thaivisitor, care to let me know your tirak's name that works in Mirage ... dun worry, not trying to pull your back leg here ... mine tirak - Joy used to work there.
MrDevil
28-07-2004, 11:45 PM
Hey bro thaivisitor, care to let me know your tirak's name that works in Mirage ... dun worry, not trying to pull your back leg here ... mine tirak - Joy used to work there.
Opps ... hopefully not the same puying, hehehehe.. just kidding. I met his tirak before, quite pretty, elegant and charming. But sorry forgotten her name. Got to wait from the mouth of the horse.
cyrus
29-07-2004, 01:03 AM
Joy formerly from Palazzo Cafe? The tall slim girl?
you know her too?? ... mei pen rai .. care to share some experience?
MrDevil
29-07-2004, 01:18 AM
OK, I'm back on Saturday.
You mean you're cooling off with the tirak I met in BKK?
But I thought you went to visit her parents already? :confused:
Yeah that one you met in BKK, yup met her parents and knew and been introduced as her faen to almost all relatives, friends and colleagues too. Puying comes and goes. But too bad, shorter than I have ever thought, lasted only 6 weeks. My last one lasted slightly longer, about 2 months ....hahahaha..
MrDevil
29-07-2004, 01:23 AM
No lah bro... kekekeke
Waaa... they way you describe my tirak or going to be ex-tirak want to make me change my mind leh... kekekeke
no lah, just kidding.
Reason why I don't want to stay with a tirak too long is because I'm married and don't want to spoil their lives. After a while, they have to seriously look for some one whom they can marry and live happily ever after, lah. :)
hahaha, one year is pretty long liao. Yeah, you are right. Dont hang on too deep for too long before hurting anyone. That's why all my ex-girl still treat me with respect and as a friend after they knew that it's for the benefit and advantage of everyone.
MrDevil
29-07-2004, 03:49 AM
Bro... she's your tirak now. What do you want me to say? Moreover, what if different Joy, although there was only 1 Joy from Palazzo Cafe that I know of.
If you tell her my name, 100% she'll know me. For that matter, even the captains, waitresses, etc all know me lah.. kekekekekeke
How long you know her? how often you see her? What level of relationship you have with her?
Aiyah, both of you PM each other to talk in private lar, one wanna to know but dont wanna to tell, another know but dont wanna to tell. heheheehhe
khunchin
29-07-2004, 02:14 PM
No lah bro... kekekeke
Waaa... they way you describe my tirak or going to be ex-tirak want to make me change my mind leh... kekekeke
no lah, just kidding.
Reason why I don't want to stay with a tirak too long is because I'm married and don't want to spoil their lives. After a while, they have to seriously look for some one whom they can marry and live happily ever after, lah. :)
This is the right thing to do.. I also had same thinking like you ... don't spoil their lives.. 1 up for you....
Bro freee, sorry the thread too long to follow, seem like your have new tirak? wat happen to the old tirak you love most?? never heard of your break off?? :confused:
Well to cut a long story short, things did not work out the way we had hope they would, so we agreed to finally call it off end Feb, even though we still had a lot of feelings for each other then. However as I have said before when we decided to take walk this LDTR journey more than a year ago, the reason if we break up will not because one of us is unfaithful or she conned me or I conned her. It will be for reasons that are common in normal r/s that dun make it, whatever the distance.
And we did breakup, largely due to age-gap differences as she is just turned 21 and I am much older. The difference is large enough for her to be my daughter if I got married early (something we didn';t think would be an issue when we 1st got started), but it became clear in the last 2 months of our r/s that is a significant factor, when she could not handle the pressures/duties of being attached and YES, rumours from neighbours and not-so-close friends. At the same time, I was getting impatient (I really learnt from this about patience with a TG) at her inability to move faster than the rate she was going. I also realised that it would be very unfair to her if I expect her to want to get married & settle down the moment she graduates, when she should be given a chance to see the world (like I had that chance).
The good thing is that we are still good friends and talked to each other occasionally and share what is happening in our lives (her Uni stuff and work, and me usually about my tirak and our little boy). We even met in BKK just slightly more than 2 weeks ago for dinner (with her aunt as well), since she happened to be there visiting her brother and aunt, and I was up for my usual fortnightly trip to be with my tirak, and I went off to see my tirak after dinner (even missed my tirak during dinner!). I was carrying a bag of toys for my boy so she definitely knew where I was going (and I had told her anyway). I still talk to her parents, though they are still unaware we have broken off. By the time she realised she wanted to be back with me and willing to do more on her part as an attached woman (compared to being single), it was too late, as I had already started another r/s with my tirak (and with her own encouragement too). So, breaking up doesn't have to be a bitter affair, even though we were both sad about it.
Today, she is still single as she had said she wanted to be (though I'd rather she have someone new & maybe better to love her & take care of her). I have enough independent verifications by my own personal friends who lived around her to confirm she didn't lie to me. She is now supporting herself thru her final year in university thru working as a part-time waitress in a restaurant we use to patronise frequently. I only come in too help her out financially if she really had problems with her school fees, as I had told her In want to see her finish her uni and will help her out if she really needs my help. In a sense, she is now my closest nong-saao (I got only 1 other). It was painfully initially as we realised then we still loved each other, but there were too many obstacles that we had to face, mostly those out of her control cos of her age and status as a student. I often wondered what it will be like if my tirak and her were to meet cos they know about each other's existance and their place in time in my life.
After this r/s, I realised I should be dating an older woman. And the woman I found is very similar to my ex in character, except that she is much more matured at 27 yrs (compared to 21). In fact we had been friends even before I met my ex, but I did not talked to her again while I had my ex, as I did not want to jao chu. Interestingly my ignoring her for 1 year has made her confident that I will also not jao chu if we become tiraks. At 27, she too wants to settle down, plus both of us are very family-oriented so are much more compatible. As time went on, I was able to see how my 1st r/s had actually prepared me for the 2nd r/s, and this time, it is a much better, more steadfast and matured relationship. We progress from initial dating (only chop not love) until we finally fell in love and looking at how we have been proceeding, we reached a point where we were comfortable & confident enough to consider marriage. Her son had been an important bond that pulls us closer as well.
As an example of the difference in maturity levels, my tirak and her family too faced neighbours gossiping and the funny looks they gave her (and me when I was there) were clear to see. But she (and family) chose to ignore the gossips cos they knew she was not doing anything wrong. Over time as I visit from once a month intially to now fortnightly, these gossips not only stopped when the neighbours realised we are really serious & we behaved much like any normal Thai couple, they have even came to accept me as if I am one of them, and we speak in Thai to each other. Plus I normally buy food from their stalls so I am now a welcomed guest even into their homes (food stalls are in front of their houses) and I get "Wai"s and smiles all round instead of those funny looks I got before.
Today, I no longer see my tirak as just my girlfriend for company, but much more. I see her as my future wife, and she sees me as her future husband and we hope to be "one in the future" (in her own words). And with the blessings from both families too. In fact, I go to her parent's house at least once each time I visit (fortnightly), and have grown to be close to her parents and 2 sisters. She has also started communicating with my mum by phone as well, so things are going good on both sides.
Right now, we are on a steady course to get engaged end of the year and also marriage mid- to end next year, depending on when (question of time) we can breach certain milestones we have specifically targeted. Soon she shall be her own boss running our shop in a nearby shopping center.
I guess what I learnt from my these 2 relationships is that it is not only important for 2 hearts to be willing, but both hearts must also be ready (and of course available) for a LDTR to work out over the long run. Yes, we know we have notn finished the race, but we are confident cos of the circumstances we are in. A lot of things are being worked out, with multiple options along the way, but our general direction is clear.
Good deal from Starhub.Free 018 calls to Thailand. Cheapest as far as I can tell. Now can call her even morethan our normal 4-6 times a day :p
http://www.starhub.com/mobile/promotionsan...ree_idd018.html (http://www.starhub.com/mobile/promotionsandevents/free_idd018.html)
Those with tiraks in LOS, mai too liaw. Go get a Starhub line :D
Just want to re-state my point for the benefit of those who might not know.
Farang is used normally for angmohs. We, as non-angmohs would be more aptly described as dtaang[L] chaat[F] ต่วงชวติ (or tarngchart if u are not using the Thai for Beginners method of spelling).
I had an interesting experience a couple of nights ago when I went to my tirak's parents home on my own after meeting with a lau chiau SG bro from Sawadee Forum (he's lived in Thailand for > 10 years!). It was about midnight when I wanted to go back to our condo, as my tirak was waiting for me (already falling asleep cos 10pm is her latest bedtime :o ). I wanted to take a taxi back (about 15 minutes drive) but her parents refused to let me do so, and her father drove me back in his pickup instead. The reason they gave was that it is not so safe for a dtaang chaat to be alone in the streets at night, even in a taxi. Haha, what they didn't realised was that on the way to BKK via Thai Air, I had tried to not speak a word of English and used Thai instead with the cabin crew and the guy next to me, and they had no clue I am not a Thai until thatguy tried to tell me I need not fill in the immigration form cos that is for dtaang chaat only :D ! Only then I told him that's exactly who I am, kekeke. (Learn to speak Thai properly, it is worth it. No more need to worry about getting kotok when buying things).
No offense bro,
Writing a letter to show to SG embassy in BKK using the various reasons stated above will not get her a visa, much less a 3 months visa from the embassy. The embassy will not process her application and just tell you that Thais going into SG does not require social visa. They will also not be responsible if she's turn away at immigration.
The letter would be more useful at the immigration at the airport but reasons like meeting mum, getting to know mum are not strong reasons. It would be better to just put it plainly that she is your girlfriend coming to Singapore for a holiday, staying at your place, and that you act as guarantor that she will not find employment in SG.
OK, This is what I did before I got married. Get a photocopy of a Thai marraige certificate and have the names changed to yours and hers, than get it translated into English. Immigration will not keep the copy.
Important is that she must have a handphone to call you if immigration needs to talk to you to confirm.
The best is to bring her in yourself. Immigration seldom stops her when you're there.
2 cents worth.
No offence at all. Personally I have not tried it on my tirak cos no need for her to come that long, but I definitely have done it for customers and other work-related personnel (male & female). The invitation letter definitely helps.
As for bringing in yourself, that is the best. In fact occasionally I used to help an OKT frd to bring in a TG if our flight happen to coincide. She dun even need to show money, but of course can come for a standard 2 weeks. For me the fun part is sitting next to a pretty gal and talking about all sorts of things during the flight, and even getting her LOS hp number if I wished to. But me just a toothless buaya now cos already happily attached mah. So cannot do anything (let alone bonk), except hold her hand when passing thru immigration :D
siamcutey
02-08-2004, 04:59 PM
No offence at all. Personally I have not tried it on my tirak cos no need for her to come that long, but I definitely have done it for customers and other work-related personnel (male & female). The invitation letter definitely helps.
As for bringing in yourself, that is the best. In fact occasionally I used to help an OKT frd to bring in a TG if our flight happen to coincide. She dun even need to show money, but of course can come for a standard 2 weeks. For me the fun part is sitting next to a pretty gal and talking about all sorts of things during the flight, and even getting her LOS hp number if I wished to. But me just a toothless buaya now cos already happily attached mah. So cannot do anything (let alone bonk), except hold her hand when passing thru immigration :D
Yeah you help to bring the girl in. If the girl gets caught in the raid, even without you in the room or even in the vicinity, AV will call you up.
Because by bringing the girl across the immigration, your details are taken too.
So to all heroes who love meeting beautiful girls at the airport and getting to know them by just helping them get through the custom, it ain't worth it.
SC
Yeah you help to bring the girl in. If the girl gets caught in the raid, even without you in the room or even in the vicinity, AV will call you up.
Because by bringing the girl across the immigration, your details are taken too.
So to all heroes who love meeting beautiful girls at the airport and getting to know them by just helping them get through the custom, it ain't worth it.
SC
Dun know leh, I never had given my details before. I think the Immigration officer just assumed we are a couple. Anyway I have stopped doing that long ago. Not with what I am having with my tirak - ain't worth it to hurt her for stupid reasons.
My whole point here is that I am saying I have crossed the Immigration with a Thai woman who is supposed to be my gf or at least my guest, so a bro who is bringing in his genuine darling should not need to worry too much. I do the same for my tirak whenever she comes to visit my family in SG.
No intention to try to encourage any one to be heros nor get to know TGs by bringing them thru custom (surely there are better ways, dun u think?). Nor am I saying I will do it again. I did that in the past simply as a favor for a OKT friend, even though I am no longer a customer. And it so happens she is on the same flight as me, and I am not inconvenienced in anyway.
Anyway, that part of my life is over, period. I have found someone far better, and have better things to do with her. I no longer have anything to do with any OKT or FL/WL for that matter. At most I am just friends with those I have met in the past. Had not gotten to know any new TGs for a long long time, but no regrets.
siamcutey
03-08-2004, 10:26 AM
Aiyo brother. Although our names start with Siam but I not so kaypoh as you ler. People want to be hero let them be lah. They're responsible for their own actions what. We all know it's common sense with all these immigration stuff. Even my tirak's younger brother also know. Wu di shi gu du de. Hahahaha.
PS: Slowly but surely my tirak will let me lick her cunt. Haha. :D
What I am trying to bring across is that some girls on the pretext of coming singapore to "work" will try to get a local so that they don't need money show or even need to get a sponsor to get the 2 weeks stay. Some girls had difficulty when you see them coming to singapore with only few hundred baht and the custom officers screening them with their watchful eyes.
Nothing happens, all is good. When something happens, the girl just get sent back while the person who bring them in gets to have a free coffee with AV.
The free coffee might even be extended to "black bean rice" at Changi.
Our local Changi is not only famous for its Nasi Lemak at Changi Village. ;)
SC
I don't know about the cute part but actually Siamcutey is right lah,...
It's very reckless to ever assist any thai girls who are not your friends by being their sponsor, etc. And if they are your friends but coming here to work as WL, it's also not worth to take the risk, as you'll be blacklisted, black coffee and black bean rice.
On the same note, if any bro did in fact assist or want to assist any girl to come in to work as WL, don't forget take down h/p no and pass to us bros hor, kekekekekekeke
You know what? I fully agree with you. To walk thru customs together (I mean like approch the immigration counter together, one behind the other and talking to each other like friends in front of the officer) is entirely different from telling the immigration specifically that the 2 of you are in a BGR relationship and you are the sponsor for the gal during her visit. Difference is heaven and earth. I will only do that if the gal is really my tirak and she is here with my knowledge and also to do what we had planned, like in Rain's case when she visits. She also has a letter from me, stating why she is here and that her address of stay will be my home (in case we got separated for any reasons) and my personal particulars and contact number are in there.
And it is up to the immigration officer to ask more if they are suspicious, and so far none has done that, as we were behaving normally. Anyway my answer will be simple even if they asked. We were sitting together in plane and got to know each other then.
Please let nobody ever even think that I am promoting this technique of getting to know a TG. As I said, there are better ways to get to know gals, instead of putting one's head on the chopping block. Certainly not for a gal one hardly knows, and had met barely 3 hrs ago.
Below is my recommended method of getting to know a TG (if you are interested in a long term r/s and she's got to be a Thai for whatever reasons u may have). I am sure there are other methods, but this is the one that worked for me:
To talk to a matured & happily married Thai woman
Preferably her own hubby is a foreigner or even better a SGrean, or she at least knows of several successful cases of Thai/foriegn BGR.
If possible, both of you should know each other reasonably well in order for her to know what u are looking for and also how you will treat the TG
Ask her to recommend someone whom she knows personally who may be reasonably compatible with you (at least to the best of her knowledge).
Then meet up with that gal and see if things take off from there.
Of course no guarantees cos it still depends on how the 2 of you respond to each other. Same like SDU style, isn;t it?
This was what happened to me, except that my woman friend (who knew I had broken up with my ex) was the one who asked me if I was keen to meet someone whom she knows will appreciate me and is matured enough to respond to me the way I need her to. Well, since I had already decided that I would like a Thai wife and live in meung Thai in the long run, if possible, I agreed to meet up with that TG since I already knew her as a likeable friend sometime ago, but had not seen or talked to her for > 1 year cos I had my ex then. We met up at my pub (yet we both dun like pubs :D) and found that we still liked each other and decided to start dating each other to see if anything further can develop. And the rest, as they say, is history.
P.S. if you really want some BKK hp numbers, I got a couple (deleted almost all liao). But I dun know if they are still in use, cos long time no call liao. The one I still talked to occasionally to chat when I go BKK is not a WL/FL back home. But I will need to check with them if I can pass their hp no to anyone (out of courtesy), and also I need to know if the guy can be trusted.
delifrance
04-08-2004, 09:18 AM
Hi
just keep the dick inside the zip and learn about thailand until you are matured enough to move around and interact with the thai people, then move to the next level of depth with the thai people.
the problem is just about keeping the dick inside the zip until you are very sharp and sure, the odds of your success increases.
play in turtle pond, drink turtle soup, you dont drink anything else. fly with the eagles, you'll see the different animals flying and crawling below you. LOL.
bro Deli,
wah like tat alot ppl sure die liao lor when then can go next level or how long will it take to reach the next level and how do we know leh? not many ppl get the chance to really interact and live like a "kon Thai tae tae".(100% Thai)
i guess sometimes things just need to be learnt - the hard way. ;)
vultures eat their own too chai mai? :p
chok dee puern.
Hi
just keep the dick inside the zip and learn about thailand until you are matured enough to move around and interact with the thai people, then move to the next level of depth with the thai people.
the problem is just about keeping the dick inside the zip until you are very sharp and sure, the odds of your success increases.
play in turtle pond, drink turtle soup, you dont drink anything else. fly with the eagles, you'll see the different animals flying and crawling below you. LOL.
Profound but so true. Something tells me you've been there, done that and are wiser for it :cool: . Thanks for introducing me to the concept of turtles vs eagles during the last time we met - u gave proper names to a principle I have found to be so true in life, where ever I go. And I am continuing to learn, from ppl like you and 88max, etc from Sawadee. Met him at KFC near our homes (we live so near each other in in Samut Prakan, LOS :D) and guess what? The world is so small. I was telling him about another SG friend who has struck it out on his own and started a small engineering workshop (also in Samut Prakan) for 3 years now. And lo & behold, we saw this same guy sitting just behind us eating his dinner as we got up to leave. We ended up visiting his workshop and having a good "3-threesome" discussin about doing biz in Meung Thai. It's amazing how 3 SGreans got to meet so far from this tiny dot of a country, w/o prior arrangements, as I too contacted 88Max on the day of meeting itself.
Haha, there is life after all in the cities outside BKK too.
Edited / Deleted. Khor Tort maak khrap
Edited / Deleted
aiyoh.. what happened bro? just wanted to reply u. :p
aiyoh.. what happened bro? just wanted to reply u. :p
Nothing bro keet. The post below the one above is the same. Accidentally posted twice.
delifrance
04-08-2004, 02:54 PM
Hi Free
glad that u finally met up with Bro 88max. very happy that things are moving along for u.
well, I did pay some school fees but the actual bulk of learning came free after I got up and looked from the 'other of the mirror' and saw all the stuff first hand.
LOL.
tirak69
04-08-2004, 10:56 PM
Hi Free
glad that u finally met up with Bro 88max. very happy that things are moving along for u.
well, I did pay some school fees but the actual bulk of learning came free after I got up and looked from the 'other of the mirror' and saw all the stuff first hand.
LOL.
bro, when is kopi session?
Below is my recommended method of getting to know a TG (if you are interested in a long term r/s and she's got to be a Thai for whatever reasons u may have). I am sure there are other methods, but this is the one that worked for me:
To talk to a matured & happily married Thai woman
Preferably her own hubby is a foreigner or even better a SGrean, or she at least knows of several successful cases of Thai/foriegn BGR.
If possible, both of you should know each other reasonably well in order for her to know what u are looking for and also how you will treat the TG
Ask her to recommend someone whom she knows personally who may be reasonably compatible with you (at least to the best of her knowledge).
Then meet up with that gal and see if things take off from there.
Of course no guarantees cos it still depends on how the 2 of you respond to each other. Same like SDU style, isn;t it?
This was what happened to me, except that my woman friend (who knew I had broken up with my ex) was the one who asked me if I was keen to meet someone whom she knows will appreciate me and is matured enough to respond to me the way I need her to. Well, since I had already decided that I would like a Thai wife and live in meung Thai in the long run, if possible, I agreed to meet up with that TG since I already knew her as a likeable friend sometime ago, but had not seen or talked to her for > 1 year cos I had my ex then. We met up at my pub (yet we both dun like pubs :D) and found that we still liked each other and decided to start dating each other to see if anything further can develop. And the rest, as they say, is history.
I had at one point of my life didn't believe that 2 persons who were match-made can be happy together, let alone love each deeply in their r/s. I had tot all those old folks I saw in their aged years that go around still holding hands cannot be among those who were "match-made". They must have met on their own and fell in love deeply before they even considered marriage.
But after what is happening to me now in my own LDTR, I am beginning to see how it can really happened. We may not be exactly "match-made" by our parents and had gotten married without our individual consent.
Still, we were brought together by a mutual good friend, and Rain & I had committed ourselves to build a relationship first (long distance at that), when we only liked each other a lot and had felt only a little love for each other. We agreed to work together to grow our love for each other daily, and give ourselves maximum 1 year to see how things goes. As the months passed, we saw how our initial commitment to try one's best to meet the other's needs eventually developed into a strong, silent and steadfast love for each other - something we both have never experienced before, and we had in the process, built in a mechanism where we always considered each other's needs in literally all that we do. Now, 6 months on, we are working seriously towards marriage & building our family together. I think it is amazing!
On hindsight, I can't think of a better way to grow a r/s. Whether with a Thai woman or a woman of any other nationality.
cyrus
05-08-2004, 01:28 AM
Yo Bros,
Phom ma khon tep 13 ~ 22 Aug. Will go Chiangrai for few days before returning to khon tep. Terlosap 051136502 na. Mr Romance should also be around on 18th Aug, I guess ....
asjer
05-08-2004, 02:20 AM
Sorry bro but how come you went thru so much hassle? For my case, we just had our cert translated, submit and approved. All done within 8 days cos we ain't in any hurry. Has so much changed in 7 years?
...........
Back in SG, I brought her to see my parents, family members all already there liow, waiting, kekeke. Although one chicken and one duck, mum gave her thumbs up (whew!) She stayed with my family for about a month, while I prepared the documents required, like CID letter to confirm I no criminal, letter of employment, etc, etc, as required by their country (info from Thai embassy).
So when ready, we go back to bkk, get docu endorsed by SG embassy, and their foreign ministry thru a "Alien Marraige" agency. Marraige certificate out in 2 days (have to pay express service).
OF course now legally husband and wife liow so, kekeke, can sleep together liow. kekeke.
It's been about 7 yrs already, and i now have another son, 4 yrs old.
To me, I think love can be developed if you like the person enough. I know of people who fall in love, married, but they just cannot stand each others habit, etc. They don't like the "person" and soon their world falls apart.
Dunno, it's my 2 cents worth. :cool:
Mr.romance
07-08-2004, 01:56 AM
bro Deli,
wah like tat alot ppl sure die liao lor when then can go next level or how long will it take to reach the next level and how do we know leh? not many ppl get the chance to really interact and live like a "kon Thai tae tae".(100% Thai)
i guess sometimes things just need to be learnt - the hard way. ;)
vultures eat their own too chai mai? :p
chok dee puern.
Hey bro...How are you?
Not forgeting I still owe u a drink...Very paiseh must return u one day.
tat day wan to bring a super turtle let u see but saw bro farak only. Anyway,
the super turtle fly my areoplane tat day also.
Only bro deli manage to see the "super turtle"
Cheers
cyrus
09-08-2004, 12:52 AM
Right man .. cool it ... birds of a feather flock together .... tio boh .. :D that's the only thing I know ... aiyah .. we all have one common objective ... well one way or the other ... life is too short ... have fun and cheong ah..... :)
Aiyoh just stick to the topic ok! :D
last we need is another flame war and thread gets axe and ppl kena kicked out hor... :(
Mr.romance
09-08-2004, 11:35 PM
Aiyoh just stick to the topic ok! :D
last we need is another flame war and thread gets axe and ppl kena kicked out hor... :(
haha...I get wat u mean bro...
bollocksman
09-08-2004, 11:49 PM
cool it pple. let there be love :) not WAAAARR.
peace......on earth and good will to all.
Nothing bro keet. The post below the one above is the same. Accidentally posted twice.
it's ok cos i saw what you replied and wonder why deleted?
actually nothing wrong with your reply leh, and i have not met Darkstorm before i think, unless it's someone from old forum in disguise.
delifrance
10-08-2004, 11:02 AM
Hi PPle.
Tirak69, sorry for the late reply. kopi anytime, just drop me a line, we can arrange.
to all
some samsters asked me why I consider the North-western people of thailand as the craziest, I guess they do things way beyond what I have seen as compared to the North-eastern, central and southern thai people. Well, we can chat over kopi and with the older birds like Keet and Farak, I think they'll have very interesting stories to share as well. *wink*
cheers.
Darkstorm
10-08-2004, 12:03 PM
it's ok cos i saw what you replied and wonder why deleted?
actually nothing wrong with your reply leh, and i have not met Darkstorm before i think, unless it's someone from old forum in disguise.
Hi Keet,
No, you have not met me before. One day perhaps?
I have heard quite a bit about you, and you command the respect of many of the samsters here, old and new forum.
delifrance
10-08-2004, 01:44 PM
Hi all
I've got a pm request from one of the samsters about why I view the North Western Thai people as the most complicated lot, here's an experience which helped me to think about their behaviour:
North-western Thai people – most complicated
One of the most unusual things about them can be seen when they conduct funerals – instead of the somber strict and grey-dark ambience that accompanies funerals, the mourners are laughing, gambling, drinking and partying away. This is especially so when the funeral procession is underway for the burial.
The Issan people (north eastern thai people) would always say: the Nuer (the Northern Western thai people) will sell their babies to get money to buy a TV or a refrigerator but the Issan people would never do this. The funny thing is the return comment by the Nuer is: the Issan people will not sell their babies but bring them up instead and later ‘sell’ their children by making them work in the sex industry to get the TV or the refrigerator!
Other than this comment, Chiang Mai holds the record for having the most HIV cases in Thailand followed by Bangkok and then Hatyai. This tells a lot for Thailand and the various groupings of people.
On a personal level, I had the experience of knowing a 37 year old Chiang Mai lady (no, I didn’t bonk her, she’s a friend), she had a 6 month baby by her Taiwanese husband. He stayed in Bangkok to operate the prawn-fishing restaurant during Songkran while she was with her baby in a village 30 minutes from Chiang Mai. Being endowed with good genes, at 37 years of age, I would judge her as very pleasant and pretty – small to medium build, petite, Chinese-looking, fair skinned with a very outgoing and socially experienced personality, long hair, proportionally sized anatomy, it’s no wonder her Taiwanese husband courted her passionately when she was a customer at his restaurant….the best thing is that she regained her pre-pregnancy looks just 6 months after the birth of her baby.
I was having dinner with her family in the village and she was quite happy, commenting that she will be in Chiang Mai town later in the evening for a drinking party upon the invitation of some farang friends. The evening came and night drew to close to midnight, no call was made by her farang friends, the last public transport came and went. She was polite enough not to gate-crash her farang friends’ party but she was nagging away at how impolite her farang friends were, for they did not call her at all.
I asked her – if she got the call and had to arrange for a motorcycle transport to bring her into Chiang Mai to the drink party, she would be crazily drunk or too drunk to arrange for transport to bring her back to her village. She mentioned that it’s not a problem for her as she can sleep over at her farang friend’s place, of course she did request me not to mention this arrangement to her husband if I meet him. I probed her further with a question about drunk and casual sex that any guy may propose to her at the party and asked what if she is caught in this situation? She replied “it’s ok, nothing special and not really a problem at all”. I was thinking – “not really a problem at all” and of course the second part of the answer came into my mind – “as long as her husband didn’t know”. The thoughts of her being married to her husband for security and stability, having a baby, giving up a free-lancer chicken life….I was pretty shocked – disloyalty, easy giving of sexual intimacy when she had made the commitment to retire from the sex industry, not a care of her life with regards to sex in a drunken state, etc. All these considerations speaks for themselves.
The next day I was roaming around Chiang Mai town, making new friends and ultimately going to Chiang Mai’s G Club disco, I saw the same kind of behaviour exhibited by many other individuals of taking the easy route to solutions…never mind if sex is involved….
Doesn’t this give you the impression of them being making their lives very complicated?
You draw your conclusions. This is just my own private opinion.
bollocksman
10-08-2004, 02:23 PM
Hi all
I've got a pm request from one of the samsters about why I view the North Western Thai people as the most complicated lot, here's an experience which helped me to think about their behaviour:
North-western Thai people – most complicated
One of the most unusual things about them can be seen when they conduct funerals – instead of the somber strict and grey-dark ambience that accompanies funerals, the mourners are laughing, gambling, drinking and partying away. This is especially so when the funeral procession is underway for the burial.
The Issan people (north eastern thai people) would always say: the Nuer (the Northern Western thai people) will sell their babies to get money to buy a TV or a refrigerator but the Issan people would never do this. The funny thing is the return comment by the Nuer is: the Issan people will not sell their babies but bring them up instead and later ‘sell’ their children by making them work in the sex industry to get the TV or the refrigerator!
Other than this comment, Chiang Mai holds the record for having the most HIV cases in Thailand followed by Bangkok and then Hatyai. This tells a lot for Thailand and the various groupings of people.
On a personal level, I had the experience of knowing a 37 year old Chiang Mai lady (no, I didn’t bonk her, she’s a friend), she had a 6 month baby by her Taiwanese husband. He stayed in Bangkok to operate the prawn-fishing restaurant during Songkran while she was with her baby in a village 30 minutes from Chiang Mai. Being endowed with good genes, at 37 years of age, I would judge her as very pleasant and pretty – small to medium build, petite, Chinese-looking, fair skinned with a very outgoing and socially experienced personality, long hair, proportionally sized anatomy, it’s no wonder her Taiwanese husband courted her passionately when she was a customer at his restaurant….the best thing is that she regained her pre-pregnancy looks just 6 months after the birth of her baby.
I was having dinner with her family in the village and she was quite happy, commenting that she will be in Chiang Mai town later in the evening for a drinking party upon the invitation of some farang friends. The evening came and night drew to close to midnight, no call was made by her farang friends, the last public transport came and went. She was polite enough not to gate-crash her farang friends’ party but she was nagging away at how impolite her farang friends were, for they did not call her at all.
I asked her – if she got the call and had to arrange for a motorcycle transport to bring her into Chiang Mai to the drink party, she would be crazily drunk or too drunk to arrange for transport to bring her back to her village. She mentioned that it’s not a problem for her as she can sleep over at her farang friend’s place, of course she did request me not to mention this arrangement to her husband if I meet him. I probed her further with a question about drunk and casual sex that any guy may propose to her at the party and asked what if she is caught in this situation? She replied “it’s ok, nothing special and not really a problem at all”. I was thinking – “not really a problem at all” and of course the second part of the answer came into my mind – “as long as her husband didn’t know”. The thoughts of her being married to her husband for security and stability, having a baby, giving up a free-lancer chicken life….I was pretty shocked – disloyalty, easy giving of sexual intimacy when she had made the commitment to retire from the sex industry, not a care of her life with regards to sex in a drunken state, etc. All these considerations speaks for themselves.
The next day I was roaming around Chiang Mai town, making new friends and ultimately going to Chiang Mai’s G Club disco, I saw the same kind of behaviour exhibited by many other individuals of taking the easy route to solutions…never mind if sex is involved….
Doesn’t this give you the impression of them being making their lives very complicated?
You draw your conclusions. This is just my own private opinion.
Very educational insight, Bro!!!!
Might keep these points in mind, when i come across those from the North -West.
for me, I like to keep my life according to K.I.S.S (Keep it Simple St***d)principles ...
:) .
tirak69
10-08-2004, 03:29 PM
lets all chill out... :cool:
Why not? See if anyone is up for it or not. Haha.
ok lor.. but be better if u open a New Topic specially for your game lor :cool:
Don't haha here and haha there. You think you're smart?
maybe should leave down contact number and can meet each other??? :p
i remembered previously got a bro always do that leh, talk face to face and dun like ppl to hide behind and be CBkias and cowards.. for all u know u could end up best of friends!! tio bo? :p
Mr.romance
10-08-2004, 06:59 PM
ok lor.. but be better if u open a New Topic specially for your game lor :cool:
Thumbs up...Tats a good wan bro
:)
thaiboy
10-08-2004, 07:15 PM
Well to cut a long story short, things did not work out the way we had hope they would, so we agreed to finally call it off end Feb, even though we still had a lot of feelings for each other then. However as I have said before when we decided to take walk this LDTR journey more than a year ago, the reason if we break up will not because one of us is unfaithful or she conned me or I conned her. It will be for reasons that are common in normal r/s that dun make it, whatever the distance.
And we did breakup, largely due to age-gap differences as she is just turned 21 and I am much older. The difference is large enough for her to be my daughter if I got married early (something we didn';t think would be an issue when we 1st got started), but it became clear in the last 2 months of our r/s that is a significant factor, when she could not handle the pressures/duties of being attached and YES, rumours from neighbours and not-so-close friends. At the same time, I was getting impatient (I really learnt from this about patience with a TG) at her inability to move faster than the rate she was going. I also realised that it would be very unfair to her if I expect her to want to get married & settle down the moment she graduates, when she should be given a chance to see the world (like I had that chance).
The good thing is that we are still good friends and talked to each other occasionally and share what is happening in our lives (her Uni stuff and work, and me usually about my tirak and our little boy). We even met in BKK just slightly more than 2 weeks ago for dinner (with her aunt as well), since she happened to be there visiting her brother and aunt, and I was up for my usual fortnightly trip to be with my tirak, and I went off to see my tirak after dinner (even missed my tirak during dinner!). I was carrying a bag of toys for my boy so she definitely knew where I was going (and I had told her anyway). I still talk to her parents, though they are still unaware we have broken off. By the time she realised she wanted to be back with me and willing to do more on her part as an attached woman (compared to being single), it was too late, as I had already started another r/s with my tirak (and with her own encouragement too). So, breaking up doesn't have to be a bitter affair, even though we were both sad about it.
Today, she is still single as she had said she wanted to be (though I'd rather she have someone new & maybe better to love her & take care of her). I have enough independent verifications by my own personal friends who lived around her to confirm she didn't lie to me. She is now supporting herself thru her final year in university thru working as a part-time waitress in a restaurant we use to patronise frequently. I only come in too help her out financially if she really had problems with her school fees, as I had told her In want to see her finish her uni and will help her out if she really needs my help. In a sense, she is now my closest nong-saao (I got only 1 other). It was painfully initially as we realised then we still loved each other, but there were too many obstacles that we had to face, mostly those out of her control cos of her age and status as a student. I often wondered what it will be like if my tirak and her were to meet cos they know about each other's existance and their place in time in my life.
After this r/s, I realised I should be dating an older woman. And the woman I found is very similar to my ex in character, except that she is much more matured at 27 yrs (compared to 21). In fact we had been friends even before I met my ex, but I did not talked to her again while I had my ex, as I did not want to jao chu. Interestingly my ignoring her for 1 year has made her confident that I will also not jao chu if we become tiraks. At 27, she too wants to settle down, plus both of us are very family-oriented so are much more compatible. As time went on, I was able to see how my 1st r/s had actually prepared me for the 2nd r/s, and this time, it is a much better, more steadfast and matured relationship. We progress from initial dating (only chop not love) until we finally fell in love and looking at how we have been proceeding, we reached a point where we were comfortable & confident enough to consider marriage. Her son had been an important bond that pulls us closer as well.
As an example of the difference in maturity levels, my tirak and her family too faced neighbours gossiping and the funny looks they gave her (and me when I was there) were clear to see. But she (and family) chose to ignore the gossips cos they knew she was not doing anything wrong. Over time as I visit from once a month intially to now fortnightly, these gossips not only stopped when the neighbours realised we are really serious & we behaved much like any normal Thai couple, they have even came to accept me as if I am one of them, and we speak in Thai to each other. Plus I normally buy food from their stalls so I am now a welcomed guest even into their homes (food stalls are in front of their houses) and I get "Wai"s and smiles all round instead of those funny looks I got before.
Today, I no longer see my tirak as just my girlfriend for company, but much more. I see her as my future wife, and she sees me as her future husband and we hope to be "one in the future" (in her own words). And with the blessings from both families too. In fact, I go to her parent's house at least once each time I visit (fortnightly), and have grown to be close to her parents and 2 sisters. She has also started communicating with my mum by phone as well, so things are going good on both sides.
Right now, we are on a steady course to get engaged end of the year and also marriage mid- to end next year, depending on when (question of time) we can breach certain milestones we have specifically targeted. Soon she shall be her own boss running our shop in a nearby shopping center.
I guess what I learnt from my these 2 relationships is that it is not only important for 2 hearts to be willing, but both hearts must also be ready (and of course available) for a LDTR to work out over the long run. Yes, we know we have notn finished the race, but we are confident cos of the circumstances we are in. A lot of things are being worked out, with multiple options along the way, but our general direction is clear.
bro free, sad to hear this, wish you good luck, do take care.....
siamcutey
10-08-2004, 07:36 PM
Hi all
I've got a pm request from one of the samsters about why I view the North Western Thai people as the most complicated lot, .
Very true. Khon Nu-er no no no no no.
*But not every Khon Nu-er. Must put a disclaimer just in case someone say I 1 bamboo stick overturn the whole boat of people.
hahaha
SC
Thumbs up...Tats a good wan bro
:)
U.. i met before.. Siamboy.. i think i met before also.
but both of u.. i dont think u met each other, maybe u 2 are made for each other.. :p
good wan or not.. this is MIA FARANG... not PUA MIA TALORT GAN thread hor
(Foreigner's Wife not Husband Wife Quarrel)
chok dee krup.
liketoplay
10-08-2004, 10:39 PM
an ex-wl or someone who engages in ons ,who previously has had sex with many others before may not think much of having sex with strangers again even after marriage. Likewise for us cheongsters , even after we've found ourselves our lie partner , we still fuck around wat .
tirak69
10-08-2004, 11:22 PM
Well, that lady friend doesn't represent all the chiangmai girls attitude. For that matter, even 500 of them doesn't.
To say other provinces girls do "2-time" would be a very shallow statement. For that matter, even SG girls also 2-time.
But that does not make any representation to the characters of the girls in general.
As for taking the easy route to solutions, it's not only in the North, it is practically in the whole of Thailand. Maybe, you don't see too much of it in NE, that's because they "migrate" down to other places with more tourism.
That being said, Chiangmai is the 2nd largest city, and naturally you'll see more "action" then say Nakhon Panom. Does it mean Nakhon Panom girls are "better" or more conservative? I think not.
My 2 cents worth.
in my years of chionging thailand... i can safely conclude that most of the WL/FL are from 2 primary region - north (chiangmai/chiangrai/mae son hon) and north east (ubon, korat, buri ram, khon kaen).
but i would say not all are bad... it just depends on luck and who you happen to meet.
my 2 satangs worth...
tirak69
10-08-2004, 11:25 PM
an ex-wl or someone who engages in ons ,who previously has had sex with many others before may not think much of having sex with strangers again even after marriage. Likewise for us cheongsters , even after we've found ourselves our lie partner , we still fuck around wat .
you are not wrong... but society frowns more upon a woman who is unfaithful than a man who does the deed. fact of life in most places and dun think this gonna change anytime soon. could be attributed a word hokkien call "gian song"... kekekekeke
cyrus
10-08-2004, 11:29 PM
Hi all
I've got a pm request from one of the samsters about why I view the North Western Thai people as the most complicated lot, here's an experience which helped me to think about their behaviour:
North-western Thai people – most complicated
Doesn’t this give you the impression of them being making their lives very complicated?
You draw your conclusions. This is just my own private opinion.
Khob khon krub. Phom khow jai leaw. As you have said it, its only a personal opinion and totally agree. Hope to meet up loh in BKK. I'll probably bring her along .. :D
Why not? See if anyone is up for it or not. Haha.
Bro Siamboy,
U may be courting with fire. There was a time in the Long Distance Tiak thread I started when one particular became aggressive and abusive. Ended up Sam Leong not only deleted the thread (which I requested), but he also deleted the account of this person (which I did not request nor will I ever do it). Let's just enjoy our time here and agree to disagree when we don't see eye to eye. One man's meat is another's poison must always be our guiding line in forums such as this. So we accept each other's views, even if they are different than ours. Relax, bro.
bro free, sad to hear this, wish you good luck, do take care.....
Hey, there is nothing to be sad about. Fact is I live and learn. No guarantee the current r/s will work out too. A lot more work still need to be done,cos a LDTR with someone from a different culture and stage of development is never easy. Just trying our best now to work things out. Personality differences are playing a major role here. I am a die-hard romantic while she is not at all. This is probably our biggest hurdle to cross (believe it or not! :eek: ). Once we can cross this, the rest is much easier cos we do have similar goals and outlook to life in general, especially on family issues.
I spent a lot of time with my tirak's mum this morning and some things that she said and did really gave me the confirmation that she is no gold digger. If fact she did quite the opposite. If my tirak is going to grow old to be like her mum, she is definitely the one I want to marry. But they are not quite the same - at least not yet :o
liketoplay
11-08-2004, 12:09 PM
you are not wrong... but society frowns more upon a woman who is unfaithful than a man who does the deed. fact of life in most places and dun think this gonna change anytime soon. could be attributed a word hokkien call "gian song"... kekekekeke
totally agree with you on that. I bring that out just to illustrate human character regardless of man or woman.
Cummings
11-08-2004, 02:02 PM
Haha if anyone eat full no shit come out can call me also. +6613630063. See who got balls.
:eek: Seems to have seen this phrase somewhere before :p
kuah mak! no need to eat shit also come out liao..... 555
You think I give a hoot what Sammyboy will do to my account?
Ok, your choice. I have intention to tell u what to do - for I have no right to. Hope u dun misunderstand. This is a free world after all.
:eek: Seems to have seen this phrase somewhere before :p
kuah mak! no need to eat shit also come out liao..... 555
Mai Dtong Glua. Dtong Tam Dee Dee. Krai Krai gor bpen peung dai
delifrance
11-08-2004, 03:36 PM
Hi all
thank you for the responses to my post about the Nuer example. Just some have pointed it out - it's my personal opinion. I have arrived at my opinion from my experiences with the Nuer people. The example I have written is not the only one. There are others and I have met others from other regions.
It's quite surprising to note that even in Hatyai that out of 10 chickens in Hatyai, 8 to 9 of them are from Nuer. Maybe the Issan people do better in Phuket because of the preference for darker skinned while Hatyai is a Malaysian Chinese and Singapore Chinese haven for such chickens, while Danuk is a mix of dark and fair skinned chickens (including the mainland chinese contingent).
I tend to be presented with fidelity in sexual matters kind of cases by the other peoples of thailand more than the Nuer, that is the reason why I think the Nuer people are more complicated.
delifrance
11-08-2004, 05:21 PM
Hi Thaivisitor
No offense at all, I hope you do not take offense either because it is never my intent. *laugh*. My post is based on my observations from "looking from behind the mirror". The success of your life partnership with a khun Nuer or not, remains a private business on your efforts with your partner. If you are not experiencing complications with your partner, I congratulate and I am truly very happy for you. There's no envy or attempt to spark any 'poison' into your private relationship. As you know, any relationship, marital or friendship wise, requires consistent effort and understanding, requires intelligence and lots of compassion too.
My posting was never intended to put a lid on relationship or provoke fear into the hearts of those who intend to set up a life in LOS with the peoples of Thailand. My posting is just an observation - to be successful, we have to be strong, wise and very mature, in addition we must respect the lives and choices of individuals....just be careful in all things we do. Too many have been blinded by what they desire and not by the facts in front of them, but then again, I respect their choices. If they never stop trying to build a good life, they will be happy and I admire these people very much.
I do not look at your spouse this way if she is a Nuer, instead I look at the two of you as a successful couple and I am happy to know that you have worked with her against all odds or avoided the nasty landmines in such a relationship.
*smile* I hope you do not misunderstand my post.
For the many readers who read in here, There are many who do not even know why they tend to love a woman...be her a thai or otherwise. sometimes it's not even love that they are feeling but more of an emotional need first rather than loving a person first then looking at the person as a woman. I am just sharing what I think and saw and experienced, if there are any who misunderstand, please write to me and I will explain as clearly as I can and hopefully they have the maturity and mental ability to understand. It's all about sharing and respecting each other's views and choices. That is why I appreciate your postings as well, your postings give more alternative views. Isnt this a forum after all?
Even on the choice of Bro Free, I am very happy to know him and his efforts in his choices. All that I can say is: what I say is what I say, the choice and decision of his is his, I respect him for this.
Please note that my post covers a ex-WL from Nuer. There are other stories which all can share and learn.
Thank you for also sharing the part about the funeral. The one that I saw was exactly as what I have described. Your post on your experience is good because it shows other cases.
Cheers and Regards!
delifrance
11-08-2004, 05:29 PM
Hi all
with respect with Bro Thaivisitor's comment on the effects on my post about the Nuer...my message to all who venture anywhere (not only LOS) is: please dont go in blind, be honest with yourself always as well as looking from the other person's views.
Well, I hope I have provided additional pointers and explanations regarding my posts. Please comment and contribute or provide opposing views. I am learning as much as everyone is.
Bro Thaivisitor,
I am surprised that I am considered senior in here, I have not walked many places as many others have gone before or are treading such places now.
delifrance
11-08-2004, 06:03 PM
Hi Siamboy
This is forum afterall. Opposing views and different views are a welcomed nature. I post what I want to share but it does not mean that I do not share alternative views, I particularly enjoy learning about different ideas. The bottomline is just a matter of respect and courtesy. That's why I see Thaivisitor as contributing to this thread rather than just butting his view points on me.
asjer
13-08-2004, 01:45 AM
From ROM, just get a "Certified True Copy", have it translated and submit to the Thai side for registration purpose. Actually, you can don't bother about the Thai side but if planning to "quit" to there eventually, it would be a wise choice.
To marry in Thailand is so much easier, just get a letter from ROM, certified true copy that you're not married, have it translated and then register.
This was the requirement to marry there, as given by the Thai embassy in SG.
What cert are you talking about that have to be translated?
bkkguy
13-08-2004, 09:42 AM
From ROM, just get a "Certified True Copy", have it translated and submit to the Thai side for registration purpose. Actually, you can don't bother about the Thai side but if planning to "quit" to there eventually, it would be a wise choice.
Those who failed to get your sg registered marriage reported back to your thai wife amphur(thailand), will face many inconvenient in future when applying for spouse 1 yr visa/PR in Thailand.
Btw, your thai wife will FOREVER be considered as a 'single lady' in thailand until the day she goes to report her foreigns marriage to her amphur.
bkkguy
13-08-2004, 10:17 AM
Hi all
Bro Thaivisitor,
I am surprised that I am considered senior in here, I have not walked many places as many others have gone before or are treading such places now.
In GENERAL (not all hor),thai ppls from Nuer are mostly lazy type, seeking easy way out to problems whereas ppls from Issan region are hard working and edurance type. Many are farmers, factory workers and construction workers.
In my 11yrs of stay here, i have 'NEVER' come across any male Nuer ppls come looking for job in my factory. Mostly my thai workers are from Issan & bkk regions.
Go ask any old thai man on the street about Nuer ppls, they will most properly tell you the same answer as mine. In facts, most construction workers in foreign countries and sg are from issan. If you find sg thai workers speaking to you in mixture of ' thai -Laos tune', most likely they are from Issan regions.
Disclaimer: You don't have to agree to every words i said here hor. :D :D
siamcutey
13-08-2004, 08:18 PM
In GENERAL (not all hor),thai ppls from Nuer are mostly lazy type, seeking easy way out to problems whereas ppls from Issan region are hard working and edurance type. Many are farmers, factory workers and construction workers.
In my 11yrs of stay here, i have 'NEVER' come across any male Nuer ppls come looking for job in my factory. Mostly my thai workers are from Issan & bkk regions.
Go ask any old thai man on the street about Nuer ppls, they will most properly tell you the same answer as mine. In facts, most construction workers in foreign countries and sg are from issan. If you find sg thai workers speaking to you in mixture of ' thai -Laos tune', most likely they are from Issan regions.
Disclaimer: You don't have to agree to every words i said here hor. :D :D
1 more, Khon Nu-er don't really like the Khon Issan people. The Khon Issan's don't like the Khon Nu-er people.
Disclaimer: Not all also. sekali got khon nu-er and khon issan good frens. Kenna chak with long essay say that the tirak and fren come from this 2 group of people.
hahaha
SC
tirak99
14-08-2004, 04:39 AM
I agreed with ur statement. Khon Bangkokian also don't really like Khon Issan. If Bangkokian guys got Issan tirak. Their parent will object their r/s. :eek:
Issan is the poorer region in thailand, that is the reason. The rich and the poor.
Disclaimer: The above is my personal views. Agreeable or NOT agreeable depend on individual.
1 more, Khon Nu-er don't really like the Khon Issan people. The Khon Issan's don't like the Khon Nu-er people.
Disclaimer: Not all also. sekali got khon nu-er and khon issan good frens. Kenna chak with long essay say that the tirak and fren come from this 2 group of people.
hahaha
SC
Bro Deli,
I understand what you are writing and I respect your opinion, personal or otherwise.
No hard feelings but personally, I feel that you should have kept it to yourself or be more diplomatic in posting your post, especially so when you are one of the "respected" senior bros around.
I don't know how many people actually read this forum, and especially read this thread and your post. And of that, I do not know how many have tiraks or wives who are Nuer. I for one has a Nuer wife.
Its just like giving out an opinion about what I feel about Hokkiens that are not so favourable and letting it be known. For those people who doesn't know Hokkiens, and sort of respect my views, may look differently on Hokkiens, which is not very fair, is it?
Having said what you have said, would you see my wife differently in your mind if we happen to meet together?
No hard feelings bro, just thought I express my views to you. :(
I agree with you. One must never generalize to the extent that we lump all the ppl together and assume that all are the same. We got to know a person personally and reasonably well before we can form an accurate impression provide we keep an open mind. A diamond was but a piece of dirty black rock until someone recognizes it for its potential and cuts and polish it to achieve its real true glory.
Let us not be offended by what another say, but recognize that it is his view, and he is entitled to it. But having said that, let us remember to be sensitive to the feelings of one another. After all we are all humans who needs attention, understanding, acceptance and most of all, love.
Hi all
with respect with Bro Thaivisitor's comment on the effects on my post about the Nuer...my message to all who venture anywhere (not only LOS) is: please dont go in blind, be honest with yourself always as well as looking from the other person's views.
Well, I hope I have provided additional pointers and explanations regarding my posts. Please comment and contribute or provide opposing views. I am learning as much as everyone is.
Bro Thaivisitor,
I am surprised that I am considered senior in here, I have not walked many places as many others have gone before or are treading such places now.
I agree with the not going in blind. There will be times when what u think is happening is not what is really happening and the truth can hurt. But we need to remember that even in relationships where both sides are sincere and honest with one another, there is no guarantee that things will work out. There is this thing called compatibility and in today's world we have choices not to go on if this is an issue, unlike the days of old where people's spouse were chosen by their parents. The human is a complex being after all.
Like in my case, there is a critical incompatibility in our characters and if we cannot cross this bridge together, we simply cannot go on together if we want to remain sincere and truthful. To do carry on and to pretend that the super-romantic can live comfortably with the totally unromantic, and it will be a piece of cake, will eventually bring disaster to both parties. For even if the union can take place, will there be true happiness, or will we just exist with one another for the sake of maintaining a family?
No, that is not what we want. So if we cannot cross this hurdle, we will have to face the truth, and we know we are fast approaching this hurdle.
Hi Siamboy
This is forum afterall. Opposing views and different views are a welcomed nature. I post what I want to share but it does not mean that I do not share alternative views, I particularly enjoy learning about different ideas. The bottomline is just a matter of respect and courtesy. That's why I see Thaivisitor as contributing to this thread rather than just butting his view points on me.
Boy, Dun I agree with you :) . To be able have one's own view and yet be able to accept other's views (even if they are totally different) is indeed the mark of a matured & well rounded (& well-exposed) person. I hope all of us can practise this here.
siamcutey
14-08-2004, 07:06 PM
I agree with you. One must never generalize to the extent that we lump all the ppl together and assume that all are the same. We got to know a person personally and reasonably well before we can form an accurate impression provide we keep an open mind. A diamond was but a piece of dirty black rock until someone recognizes it for its potential and cuts and polish it to achieve its real true glory.
Let us not be offended by what another say, but recognize that it is his view, and he is entitled to it. But having said that, let us remember to be sensitive to the feelings of one another. After all we are all humans who needs attention, understanding, acceptance and most of all, love.
In china, they have an ancient art. Called "Art of Changing Faces". or Bian Lian Yi Shu.
However, in thailand, the people also like to use this art. Some performed it well, some performed it to perfection.
The most blady tok gong part is when they are fucking with their pii-chai and yet talking on the phone with their overseas boyfriend. That is the utmost respect I am giving to them. This just shows how good they are.
We will never know, cos we are not there to see.
As for the friends who give their alibis for these girls, the THAIS CHUAY THAIS.
Disclaimer once again: Not every girl in thailand is like that.
SC
In china, they have an ancient art. Called "Art of Changing Faces". or Bian Lian Yi Shu.
However, in thailand, the people also like to use this art. Some performed it well, some performed it to perfection.
The most blady tok gong part is when they are fucking with their pii-chai and yet talking on the phone with their overseas boyfriend. That is the utmost respect I am giving to them. This just shows how good they are.
We will never know, cos we are not there to see.
As for the friends who give their alibis for these girls, the THAIS CHUAY THAIS.
Disclaimer once again: Not every girl in thailand is like that.
SC
I have no doubt that the above happens on a regular basis. I know of one such case personally, but it is a reversal of roles. In this case, it so happens that the guy I know was the pii-chai (albeit a thanchart one) while the one on phone was her one and only local Sponsor.
Having said that, I see another subtle side to the story, and it pains my heart to know the pain in this young gal's heart as she did what she did. There was much fear and insecurity in her heart. She was afraid that this Pi will get tired of her (signs beginning to sprout) and of course she felt unwanted and insecure. As a friend (they liked each other but not love) the thanchart pii-chai was there to provide the solace and emotional support she needed then, and one thing led to another. Is this gal bad? I dun know. I believe she would gladly give up her rather highspending lifestyle in exchange for a guy who would truly love her kondiao, does not have an existing wife, want to take care of her and perhaps help provide for her mother as well. And guys such as this are rare in her world. Was she out to cheat her Pi? No, she was simply looking for an alternate source of love and hopefully sponsorship, cos this current sponsor was making it clear that he is getting tired of her, and it is time to move on. As she pleaded with her Pi to believe her as to why her hp was off the night before (cos she was tipsy as she was drinking to drown her sorrows), this guy could not but exuberate gentleness and care for her, and took care of her by helping her to feel wanted and desirable, at least for those few hours together.
It is a sad story indeed and till this day, my heart goes out to this sweet pretty gal entangled in a web she cannot get out of by herself, for what can she do, with little skills and education? I too pray that one day there will be a hero that will walk into her life, and rescue her from all these pains, and perhaps lead her into a world she had always dreamt of - a happy family with the man who loves her deeply, and she would give all of herself to him.
As for Thai chuai Thais, I have also seen another version - where Thai chinese chuai SG chinese - more than lend their hands for the ethnic thais.
Maybe this gal that I know is of a different mold from the rest, and the Thai Chinese I know are not "normal" Thais. Guess for every situation, there could be exceptions.
MrDevil
27-08-2004, 01:40 AM
Free,
I feel shame for you ler. :( Sorry but I'll have to label you as a cheebye kia. You're now in my wanted list in Bangkok. Don't let me see you in Bangkok. My Issarn cowboys are always on standby. Watch your back. Avoid the small alleys. Hahaha.
Cheebye Kias Wanted List:
1) vaxvms
2) free
*Monetary awards for reliable tip-off
Whatever is the case or story, I wonder how is it related to you in anyway? It is really thoughtful of you for even pasting the stories over, worried that providing a link alone is not enough to make your case heard?
Just to be fair, I dont know and have not met with both of you personally, but I just feel that you are really over-reacting childishly. BTW, since you so influential in BKK, perhaps I should request your permission if I happen to cheong BKK in near future. Or do I need to watch my back if I happen to cheong Hdy tomorrow? Perhaps you could send some guys over to say hello..What was your thai contact no posted? hahahahahaha
MrDevil
27-08-2004, 01:48 AM
Why don't you PM Sammyboy to edit my posts like you always do. Wouldn't that be easier. You can do better than this. :)
Good idea, but just another bro disapproving your points, you are on your way to exit. But not to worry, you can always come back with a new nick to create more mess like you always do. Wouldn't that be easier? Hey, pasting at this thread alone wont create enough attention, you can do better than this ;). hahahahahha
MrDevil
27-08-2004, 01:55 AM
Give you phone no. as if you'll surely call? Why don't you give me your phone no. and I'll call you? Goodnight don't let the sand flies bite. :)
There are easily few hundreds of bros here have my contact, dont you have mine since you so influential? PM me if you really keen to speak and meet with me. I am newbie in BKK, perhaps you could lead me around and intro your Issan boys to me. hahahahahhaha
MrDevil
27-08-2004, 01:58 AM
He is muted now cannot speak, the bros are sending him to Moderation. Bye bye. :D
not to worry, he will be back soon.. probably some of his buddies will come to his rescue or he could just come back with another nick. Old dog just never learn new trick, just too bad.
tirak99
Registered User
Posts: 177
(8/26/04 1:53 pm)
To Bro free
-------------
<<Let be honest. You already in your 40 and she only 20 plus. Don't tell me your tirak just fall in love with you that easy. I can bet with my last dollar that your tirak only look up at you for financial and daddy love, that's all. >>
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If you do not want me 2 access the TGH forum. Just politely reject me. The Italian wine lobang, looking for invester. if u have enough partners, just politely tell me.
This is what u called brotherhood har?
P/S: Sorry being so rude. My opologise to you. I'm a balanced guy toward thai r/s.
Wah Mr Siamboy got so much free time yah? Still haven;t given up attacking me from the days of your old nick? By the way, I just had kopi with tirak99 a few hours ago, even before I have time to read any of his postings on Satwadee these 2 days. The last time I met him in GL for kopi a few days ago, I had come from my mum's place and left his SIM card at my own home. He had smsed me to meet up while I was at my mum so I did not have time to go back home to pick it up. Anyway he is only going to LOS in October so there is plenty of time. I think he owes me an apology as he is impatient. Just because he sms'ed and called me doesn't mean I have to answer him immediately. Usually I do, but these 2 days was a madhouse in the office. I was at long meetings and at customers place these 2 days and I thought he can wait. If I had not the time to call my gal these 2 days, I won;t have time to call anyone else too, tirak99 included (sorry bro tirak99 but I think u will understand). A lot of things on my mind and I forgot to reply him later in the evenings (and I was still working from home)
Why the hell do I want to retain his SIM card for?. Fact is I did him a favour and topped up his SIM card before it expired this month or something. I topped up with my own money, yet I didn;t even think of collecting it as it is only 50baht. I got confused with my own spare Starhub prepaid card and told him the expiry after the top up is march next year. Only when I got the message from starhub again that I realised my mistake and told him it should be in November (original was Aug or Sep - I cant remember). I think it is very silly and childish of you to try to "show me up" when u dun know the background of what is going on. Shame on you, really. Now you've made yourself look like a fool, u know?
As for my age and my tirak's age, it is really none of your biz, don't you think? As long as we're both happy and comfortable about the numerical gap, and her parents and my mum also are, why do u bother? Surely u have better things to do? Things more valuable? By the way her father is also much older than her mum (in 2 digits also). And if he himself tells me he can accept it and would not mind, since he has observed me for 1.5 years - long enuf for him to be assured of my sincerity, what gives u the right to mind? I dun think u have any. I am really more concern about the mental and emotional gap that we had in the past, and that is no longer a problem, as we have both grown. So there.
I had met with Max in Samut Prakan (sorry I dun hang around BKK), cos he is someone I respected and can get along with (doesn't mean I must take all his advice, tho I do heed a lot of them). We talked about alot of things that u dun even know about, both short term and long term. Unfortunately I have been extremely busy since my return from LOS and had not time to do much nor update him. What are you anyway? - to quote from another forum when u dun know the background of what we are talking about in full details? You are NOT privy to our personal face-to-face and telephone conversations, are you? If u do, hmmm.... maybe I should worship u as god!
Promises? Well I delivered what I promised to Rain and much more. And I went in with my eyes opened and ready for if things dun work but hope they will. I spent the money (enuf to feel the pinch, but won;t die yet) cos Rain doesn't have much. If anything, it is my sincere hope that the small business I helpred Rain to start up will be successful and that she can eventually be financially independent so that she can give herself & the little boy I loved with all my heart (and still do) a better life than they had before we met. She had rejected my offer of paying rent for the shop for a few more months (until it turns around) cos she felt she simply cannot accept my help if we are no longer able to work towards getting married. Lesser women would have played KC on me and milked me for more money until the shop is profitable. She just would not live a lie. For that I respect her deeply.
End of the day, I have NO regrets for I had known a good woman. She doesn't too & still see me as a good man. That is why I can get out w/o benig bitter about TGs,and she is not bitter with me too. IF we can work things out, we would have a happy family in time to come, but alas it was not to be. Since Rain and I did not regret our decision NOT to carry on, and we can still face each other today, plus I can still meet with her parents, who are you to say anything? If Rain's parents understand our reasons for not continuing, even though it saddens them cos they really like AND loved me, do u object?
Can you still meet your ex-tiraks and their parents in a non-frictional, not confrontal meeting? And still be good friends and ready to help each other where we can? If yes, good for you. I sure can, and in fact I just talked to her mum today and will visit them when I go up again. Fact is our breakup was mutual cos we realised that much as we try, our differences in basic personalities are going to get in the way in the future in a very destructive manner, even though we meet most of each others criterion. And if I have not spared a thought for Rain, I wouldn;t have bothered to keep in touch and still be ready to help.
Messing up another young gal's life? Mind you. My Dancer had wanted to come back, when she realised she had made a mistake in wanting to be single again, 2 months after our breakup. Only today when I understood the 1st half of the lyrics of the song "Pae" (Defeated) by Got which her best fried said my Dancer listened to alot after I left. After painstaking recording down the Thai lyrics (word by word) from listening to & pausing the song, I could feel how hurt she was when I rejected her coming back. Only today do I really understood the pain that crushed her heart when she realised to her horror she really had loved me and had chased me away by her rash actions, as she was not able to handle the pressures that she faced as a result of our being together then.
Maybe I was stupid enough to reject her and ignored the love for Dancer that was still deep in my heart, cos I was committed to working things out with Rain (since I started this r/s before my Dancer wanted to return). Maybe I could have done what some bros suggested and "play" both gals. But that is against my life principles and I simply cannot do that. I chose one and tried my best. So, on the contrary, going back to my 1st gal, is not messing around with her life. We had been together for 1 year and are just resuming our r/s with better understanding after a break of 6 months. She has matured a lot emotionally and mentallly since we separated 6 months ago, and I too have changed. Where I have problems with her, they are now virtually gone. I have learnt to be a lot more patient with her, cos I had learnt the need for patience from Rain.
In fact this time, I made sure her dad is informed and I asked him for permission to seriously date his precious daughter. I was welcomed and permission was granted, since over the last 6 months, I had continued to show care and concern for her parents. There was a family incident abotu 10 weeks back, when her dad broke down as I was consoling him over the phone. He told me then that he had been made very sad by the incident but I had made him happy by my caring. All this even though we were not together and that had touched him deeply. From now on, she no longer needs to keep our tirak relationship a secret from her parents (& not just a simple boyfriend/girlfriend as the father had thought). This is one relationship where we want to walk with our heads held high. Can you do that in your own relationship? If yes, I congratulate you.
As for Tirak99's post aboutTGH forum, I dun have the previledge of accepting or rejecting anyone. I have told him (like I have told a couple of bros I invited) to email the adminstrator to register and I have already informed the administrator to expect his email. He has got to take the intiative to register.
So there, satisfied? BTW way, u talked like BKK belongs to you. Good for you. Great place. Enjoy yourself there.
Dun care what ppl say. Can never make them happy all the time. When I met my 1st gal (Dancer) ppl said she is out to con me and never really loved me. But I refuted, and maintain that we really did love each other before we broke up. Now that we know we really love each other and got together again (now with full blessings of her parents and also my mum), ppl now say I am out to con her! Never mind, Maybe we will go thru life together conning each other, cos this is one r/s that ppl say IS NOT MEANT TO BE. Even we had thought this way when we broke up, and it is against much odds that we are back together, slower but more steadfast than before. BTW, I find it strange - that those who know us well (either together or individually) celebrated our reunion with us. Those who dun know us - stand to condemn us.
Enuf said. Go get a life. She & I have gotten ours back and we are happy.
Tirak99,
I have read your PM and I appreciate your asking the moderator to remove your posts here, and also to edit your posts in Sawadee Forum. But what is done cannot be undone by removing your posts. Deleting your posts away will only help to hide the real truth. NO, leave them here for the SB world to see and judge for themselves. Most ppl are intelligent enough to see the truths for themselves. I have no need for multiple nicknames cos I remain true to my heart and therefore hold a consistent position in all areas. To me, having multiple nicks to post different views from "pretend" different people exposes a somewhat sick mind and character flaw, especially when all this guy want to do is to attack his chosen pet target for the period.
Tirak99, what I asked for is a fair representation, and I believe that u are really the nice & honest person that I see (as recent as 5 hrs ago). What I will appreciate more is for u to post what u feel about this incident and how your posts in Sawadee is being unscruplously abused, by one such as Siamboy right here in this forum. What u want to write, I leave it completely up to you. I am only asking you to be fair and too be true to your conscience. You have met me a couple of times, and I believe you know very well that I love these 2 women, but I can only have one in my life. And it is natural to choose "the one who loves me".
"So-called" lau chiaus aside (these are different from the genuine lau chiaus), there are bros here who agree with what I do, and also my sincere intentions in sharing my learning path regarding the learning of the Thai language. My "Serious about Learning Thai" thread is not meant for these "lau chiaus" who think they know everything anyway, and they are here to play god and to condemn what they dun like, and in a very personal way too.
tirak99
27-08-2004, 05:31 AM
Siamboy,
You shouldn't post what we have posted in sawatdee forum in SB forum. How can you anyhow unscruplously abused our posting here against Bro free. This is become personal attack against him. It is really too much. :mad:
What I posted in sawatdee forum is mainly on my point of view r/s and advise on r/s to Bro free. The "word" used there might be too strong in some sense. I have to agreed with this. My apologies to Bro free. Whether Bro free agreeable with our view/advise got nothing to do with you. And why our posts are here. :mad:
In reality, Bro free love these 2 women that is the fact, but the r/s does not work out as it is supposed to be. Of course, he have the right to choose "the one who he loves most " at the end of the day. You do not know the whole stories, then dun anyhow post here, You are posting something that sour our friendship. I just have kopi session with him yesterday evening. Our discussion actually fine-tune our views on r/s and have better understanding.
Let me apology to Bro free for being impatience for the SIM card issues. I didn't know he is busy.
I'm sure Bros here got eyes to see who is the troublemaker? Sammyboy and all samsters here, I do not wish my post here kenna reputation zapped for being fair representative. I was indirect involved in this saga. I do have some fault overall. I have to admit to it. Again my apologise and caused much inconvenience.
Siamboy,
You shouldn't post what we have posted in sawatdee forum in SB forum. How can you anyhow unscruplously abused our posting here against Bro free. This is become personal attack against him. It is really too much.
What I posted in sawatdee forum is mainly on my point of view r/s and advise on r/s to Bro free. The "word" used there might be too strong in some sense. I have to agreed with this. My apologies to Bro free. Whether Bro free agreeable with our view/advise got nothing to do with you. And why our posts are here.
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Let me apology to Bro free for being impatience for the SIM card issues. I didn't know he is busy.
I'm sure Bros here got eyes to see who is the troublemaker? Sammyboy and samsters, I do not wish my post here kenna reputation zapped for being fair representative. I was indirect involved in the saga. I do have some fault overall. I have to admit to it. Again my apologise and caused much inconvenience.
Bro Tirak99,
I fully accept your apologies and assure you that our friendship will not be soured in anyway. If anything, it will grow stronger.
It is ironical that it was this same guy who had once tried to introduce me to sawadee in the past ended up abusing it. He had felt that my posting my tirak thread in SB is out of place then. Today u see several tirak threads like this abound. Even this thread may be seen as a post-decessor to the one I started called "Long Distance Tirak - Myth or Reality". SB has grown in breadth and depth. Goes to show how far he has actually come after all these years - no where :rolleyes: .
Sawadee is a place where ppl speak their minds and hearts and we can agree to have different points of views. Brotherly advice and no mincing of words. I take all that in my stride as people are sincere and care for each other. No holds barred conversation. No boasting of sexual conquests but instead a sincere attitude of sharign about life and relationships in LOS. Maybe there is a silver lining in this cloud - that more bros will be part of Sawadee to talk about relationships and life in LOS aparting from cheonging, as it gives very different perspectives from the topics in SB. Maybe Bahnoo will smile? One needs both sides to be complete.
I must admit I should have spent more time to update Max, but as u can see, tonite is my 1st free night for a long time now.
To be fair, a great majority of SB bros are as nice as can be, but there are always going to be some "immatured" so-called lau jiaos who act like SB forum is their personal private playground. Truth is that it belongs to Sam and gang, and it here for everyone to share . So let's leave them be.
Life goes on babe. Nothing anyone may throw at me can prevent my enjoying my journey with the woman I had known and loved, and who had shared my life in a way only she can, and for 1.5 years now.
No sweat. Jai yen yen :cool:
MrDevil
27-08-2004, 05:53 AM
I'm sure Bros here got eyes to see who is the troublemaker? Sammyboy and all samsters here, I do not wish my post here kenna reputation zapped for being fair representative. I was indirect involved in this saga. I do have some fault overall. I have to admit to it. Again my apologise and caused much inconvenience.
It take a man to admit his harsh words and apologies as he feel right. I dont see any reason for any bros here to deduct your point, in fact I felt that you deserved some points from me if you feel that few points are important to you. In anyway, I believe whatever had happened is between you and bro free and none of the concern of anyone else. Right or wrong, polite or rude, no other person know the insight better then both of you. It is very wrong for an outsider to jump into any conclusion by mere posting without knowing the happening within.
Cheonging LOS and puyings for a year or two dont automatically qualify a person Lau Jio, lots of young panks here trying to act big shot should be shot right at their nose if they dont know how to watch their words.
We may have conflict of interest but I face each matter as its own. If you interested to talk, we can always work it out with a glass of beer.
Mr.romance
27-08-2004, 08:50 PM
knn
people contribute also minus ppl's point. siao.
Hi,
There are many ways to contribute. Constructive & non constructive.
The right way to contribute is being helpful & not doing childish acts like accusations or framming. What Siamboy is doing is total disrespectful to many bros here especially the lao jiao wans.
BTW I know who u are already.
I wonder why how come some people like to create many nick here just to let people knoe he had some support behind his back...haha
Cheers
Hi,
There are many ways to contribute. Constructive & non constructive.
The right way to contribute is being helpful & not doing childish acts like accusations or framming. What Siamboy is doing is total disrespectful to many bros here especially the lao jiao wans.
BTW I know who u are already.
I wonder why how come some people like to create many nick here just to let people knoe he had some support behind his back...haha
Cheers
Even for a non-constructive post (I wouldn't quite call it a contribution) maybe we can be generous enough to tolerate it. But when one becomes destructive or antagonistic for no good reason, we need to cut out such cancer. Best is ppl practise self-restrain, right?
Cummings
27-08-2004, 09:25 PM
Mr romance is finally doing his part in 'contributing' :rolleyes:
So I see you contributing too.... But is it a joke or sarcasm? :confused:
dargonfly75
27-08-2004, 10:02 PM
Bro Tirak99,
I fully accept your apologies and assure you that our friendship will not be soured in anyway. If anything, it will grow stronger.
Bro free, bro tirak99, glad that the friendship for both of you are not affected by this episode of Siamboy to copy and paste the discussion you guys have at sawadee.
Siamboy, hope you understand that what you did is akin to someone who listened to a conversation and spread the content of the conversation everywhere. This is not very nice. As you and brothers who read the contents are not the persons involved, the meaning of what is said might be lost. You may have something against bro free but you should sort it out with him and not drag bro tirak99 into this.
To those brothers who are interested to know.. bro free returned the sim card to bro tirak99 last night. I should know as I was with both of them drinking kopi at Chinatown.
peace brothers.. peace.
now can we get back to the original topic ;)
Bro free, bro tirak99, glad that the friendship for both of you are not affected by this episode of Siamboy to copy and paste the discussion you guys have at sawadee.
Siamboy, hope you understand that what you did is akin to someone who listened to a conversation and spread the content of the conversation everywhere. This is not very nice. As you and brothers who read the contents are not the persons involved, the meaning of what is said might be lost. You may have something against bro free but you should sort it out with him and not drag bro tirak99 into this.
To those brothers who are interested to know.. bro free returned the sim card to bro tirak99 last night. I should know as I was with both of them drinking kopi at Chinatown.
peace brothers.. peace.
Thanks bro. be assured that our friendship is in no way affected. Just want to add that when I returned the SIM card to tirak99, I have not read any of the postings in Sawadee. I happened to be free yesterday night, after a long period of working like a dog on projects we won recently. And I prefer not to answer smses or answer private calls when I am with customers or in a meeting. Only exception I made is for my tirak and my mum, and even then I make it very short.
Also, I have no idea who siamboy/yomun is - never met him, nor would I go the extra mile to do so. Why he is against me I have no idea. Is it because I believe a healthy normal r/s with a TG is possible and live it? I treat a TG asI would treat an SG gal. Is it because I dun jao chuu behind my tirak's back, even as I know I know she does the same for me? Not one but 2 women,can consecutively?
Sure, it is not easy to abstain, as I am a normal man with normal desires. But I think not hurting m beloved by being unfaithful is more important then just thinking about meeting my own physical needs. I am NOT saying that other bros must do what I do or think the same way. I dun think there is no right or wrong, just a matter of individual choices. A lot will depend on the individual gal. My gal(s) so happen to treasure this area more than some others. That I may be boring to some gals cos I dun drink/smoke nor party is of no consquence to them. Actually that is an additional pre-requsite for both of them. No Jao Chuu, no smoking/drinking/gambling and responsible/caring.
To each his own. Let there be peace. Life must go on.
MarkNgSiongBoon
29-08-2004, 05:13 PM
Siamboy,Firstly let me start by downing you two points for that extremely offensive avatar of yours.
Secondly, Bro free is a good cyberbro of mine and I will not stand for such baseless attacks on his reputation here. Everyone can see bro free's postings and up till now he has been gentlemanly and rebutted your malicious accusations point for point in a civil manner. It's obvious there's other hidden agendas in what you are doing by hiding behind a newly created nick and hurling mud at him here. From your reputation points now it seems that many other bros here disaprove of you and exercised their rights and did their civil duty as netizens and samsters and sent you down to moderation, hopefully into oblivion.
I did for a split second considered upping your points to give you your voice back and a chance to mitigate but decided against it as I liken you to a rabid dog running amok and biting everyone in view, so the only option is to put you down.
Bro free, please do not let any of the comments by this schizo get to you, I believe you are stronger than that and if you get mad then you are falling into his trap. Remember you have to conserve your energy for your long walk with Rain and also to contribute to the forum here. It's contributions like yours that up the standard of this forum a few notches. Take care and hang in there bro :)
dargonfly75
02-09-2004, 04:43 PM
Some of you guys may not be happy that he copied Free posts from somewhere else and put it here but it help ppl like me know waht's going on, so, sorry to those bros who object, I'm supporting him for it.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion la..
Why dun you ask bro free out to tcss and listen to his story? Better to listen from the horse's mouth. You can make your own judgement then. :D
Mr.romance
02-09-2004, 05:38 PM
I know Bro Siamboy's methods or manners in his posts are sometimes offensive and there were several times I wanted to deduct his reps (but refrain as it is his way of postings), and I know that Siamboy, sex_maniac and a few bros here don't really like me for "talking up" for bro Mr Romance, but I'm not going to let such things bother me and I suggest the rest of you guys also do that.
haha...thumbs up bro...we will discuss this during our next kopi session...But when hah????
:D
dargonfly75
02-09-2004, 05:56 PM
OK, ask him out tonight. You also :D
sure.. give me a ring. PM you my no.
siamcutey
02-09-2004, 11:53 PM
TOo LoNg.
Maybe got to repeat 1 story again. Got 1 time I taking a taxi, talked to this TAXI DRIVER. Was chit chatting with him due to traffic jam and he started asking me where I come from and my thai language surely come from learning from thai girls.
Then I asked him why don't get a thai gf. He said he hates thai girls. Kohok yeak yeak. The taxi driver can speak good english as he formerly worked in SG as a construction worker. He even said Thai people especially girls working in the sex industry cannot be trusted as they only know lies lies and more lies.
Before could continue further, I reached my destination and this is just the Thai TAXI DRIVER's comments. NOT MINE.
hahaha
SC
siamcutey
03-09-2004, 12:09 AM
In my opinion, what siamboy did by plagiarising the postings from another forum over to here is wrong.
If he wants the public to judge and see what is fact and fantasy, he could instead put a link to sawadee instead. This I think no one will have any complains.
If one person wants to post in a public forum, he must understand what he wrote is readable under the public eyes. The motive of posting is to let others read and be open to the idea of what others reply. Good or bad POV, the others can choose to reply back
SC
OK, ask him out tonight. You also :D
Good to meet with you tonite. Sorry couldn't come earlier as I had another meeting. Also got to leave earlier cos got to finish up presentation for tomorrow's meeting with customer. In fact working now.
Anyway, hope u can understand my part of the little time I had to share my story. I am just glad I had met 2 nice women and had the opportunity to spend very personal time with them. Today I am back with one of them, while remaining friends with the other. No shame in my opinion. End of the day what matters is we have all gained in different ways and also lost a part of ourselves in another way. And we learnt to be wiser and and recognised the problems we faced, so that we can be better prepared for the future.
I respect your views on cheonging even when "tied" down, and I believe u can accept my too. They may be very different, but I think both are not wrong and both applies to people with different personalities. BTW, give it to u for having such good cheonging stamina. I ran out of steam already and now find cheonging rather nah beua.
You were also saying that it is not possible for your 1st girl to be with you
Now suddenly you don't feel the significant age gap? like marrying your daughter?
Also, why do you need to ask for her father's blessing and he gave it happily when he's still unaware you have broken off? Your story now don't seem to click leh..
:(
Reason is simple. The dad knew we are "faen" (he even used that to refer to me when I called him in the past) but he did not know how serious we are, at that time. And he also was not aware that I had been visiting her regularly, cos she was afraid to tell him.
Now we have agreed that if we are going to re-start anything at all, we should let him know and I can come visit her officially with his blessings. And if I do help her with money, he will also know so that he doesn't need to wonder anymore. So I asked him for his blessings for us to become "tiraks" (yes I did use this word) and be closer than we were before.
We are taking our time in this new journey and want to give each other a lot of time and space to ourselves and see how things go from here. For other bros who prefer to throw mud at me, it's OK. It is my life and I alone must walk this journey. It is so easy for ppl who dun know exactly what I have gone thru to generalise and pass comments according to your own believes and experiences and that is fine. End of the day, I will reap what I sow, good or bad. For now, I am comfortable with what's happening my life, and I am happier to know I have at least chosen a path where I can be comfortable with myself. That is enough for me.
Should there be any significant changes, I may post them here again. Otherwise I am choosing to get on with my life, and I will accept the consequences of my choice, whatever they might be. Adios.
Sinoview
03-09-2004, 02:06 AM
Bro Free,
It's so dramatic....
From what i read, I think you are such "romantic" a person that you give compliments and "loves" away too easily and openly. When you're with one, you see nothing but the all "good" side that person and "throw compliments" like there is no tomorrow....
You are such a good writer that me as a reader can feel your "love" and move along with you. All those words you put on the u gal was beyond a normal person can see from his or her partner. Then you surprised us by changing your position. From the U gal to Rain. But you managed to convince us by your "colourful" compliments of her characters and your "love" for her son. It's really amazing. I'm was impressed.
Then so quickly you change your position. From a loving romantic man which I see you, you begin to "cover up" for your "sudden" and unexpected decision. Total 180deg reverse opinion on the u gal. The points you have made on her of not been compatable to you now seem gone with the wind. You started bringing in the father which i think got little or no weighting to your decision into the picture. Your "love" for Rain and her son are also gone so suddenly.
It's really like a "love" story written by a professional writer out to convince the "world" to buy his book. If that is yr objective. Congratulation...you have succeeded.
Is just unbelievable that the "nice and colourful" words you put on your so call "love ones" just come and go like a storm. Not once....not twice..... I believe many more to come in your life.
So when you going to change your position again is everybody guess.
Good luck.
Bro Free,
It's so dramatic....
From what i read, I think you are such "romantic" a person that you give compliments and "loves" away too easily and openly. When you're with one, you see nothing but the all "good" side that person and "throw compliments" like there is no tomorrow....
:
:
So when you going to change your position again is everybody guess.
Good luck.
Dun mistaken me. Never at any point have I said that neither of the gals I have loved are not good, though both have faults just like I do. Both are very nice women and if we had broken up at one point of relationship, the reasons are many fold. Yet none (as far as I can honestly tell) are due to the lady having another guy in her life or I have found someone new while still dating one gal.
Rain is a real wonderful woman, and I will say it out LOUD one more time. I do appreciate her many good qualities, especially her honesty, and is really a good mother. She could have played KC, but she would not. If she had been a bit more responsive (more like the way her own mother treats her father), I would have hung on to my choice, for she would make a wonderful wife, provided I can take her rather emotionless response to most things. But that unfortunately is NOT how I am made , being a romantic guy by nature. If you can. think of how tough it has been for both of us in just this one area - By being my natural romantic self, I irritate her often (cos I like to snuggle up close), and being her naturally unromantic self (dun liked to be kissed or hug cos feel claustrophobic), she frustrates me. All our quarrels when we have them are over this ONE single issue. The reason why we both came so far and tried so hard is simply because we saw so much potential in each other as a spouse. Too bad these potentials shall remain untapped. There is nothing to cover up. And there is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact I will be in BKK next week, and I shall be visiting her and her parents, and especially the little boy I had loved (and still do). We are still friends and why not?
Dancer is also wonderful and beautiful.The reason why we broke up was she could not take the pressure of being attached (at the time) with all the gossips and she was being held to ransom by her own cousin who kept threatening to tell her father about the seriousness of our r/s. He had assumed that we were dating but not serious as he did not know I visit her rather regularly, as she was afraid to tell him. So she decided to remain single (verified by my own personal friends who lives around where she lives). That was why we could still remain good friends (w/o any intentions of reunion) after our break up.The root of her problem was her fear of her father's disapproval of her having a serious r/s while still in Uni. That her father keeps telling her to "study 1st" (although he did not say she cannot be my Faen) added to her pressures. Only after our breakup, did she realise that my love meant more to her than she thought, and she was miserable w/o me.
That was why the 1st thing I did this time round was to seek her father's blessings myself - to take the pressure away from her. My views on this are very different from many bros. To me, the parents endorsement also means they will try their best to protect the r/s (evident in my case with Rain). Also, the responses I am getting from her parents when I call them about once a week is certainly different than before. They now approve of me (having known me for 1.5 years) and have accepted our r/s, More imptly, her dad told her of his acceptance himself.
Dancer has matured much during our 6 months separation. I also had helped her prepare for another future r/s with someone (whoever he might be) by sharing with her lots of things that Rain did for me to "tam hai man jai" where she made sure I have little or no worries that she is flirting around behind my back. Ironically I am now reaping the benefits of what I told her, for she is actively doing these things for me.
Rain and Dancer are in different positions and therefore I have to respond differently. Rain is at a point in her life where she is ready to settle down (so was I) and that was why we had moved so fast (probably too fast) and did not have time to realise our critical areas of incompatibility, as we had talked about so many things and have the same view on almost all of them. Yet our little bit of differences (but fundamental ones) stopped us in our track.
Dancer is still in final year Uni, and therefore is not in a hurry to get married. We had talked about the future but it is not something in the immediate horizon. In fact this time I told her I will give her at least one year after graduation to experience the world before we even consider marriage (if we even get there), and it obviously was a relief to her In the meantime, enjoy ourselves together.
I certainly dun look forward to changing positions, but then if it comes, let it be.
I am fortunate that I have met and known 2 lovely women and they had also shared a part of their lives with me. Maybe I could have chosen any one of them and worked hard to make the r/s work, if I really have to. But I am a person where being myself is important and I have not wish to spend life with someone I cannot be comfortable with.
Who the final partner will be I dun know yet. maybe I will never find one. I just hope that it will be Dancer, cos we know we love each other, no matter how impossible it seems to some people. But no guarantee still,
delifrance
03-09-2004, 12:43 PM
Hi Free
you say you are romantic. My post addressed to you in the other forum is not an encouragement or to demoralize you.
many folks have said that they are romantic, I see a different view: one's need to give love so that one can receive love. We are humans, we love to have someone loving us, popularity, fame, etc. How we go about getting it is up to us. This can be an Achilles heel for many.
Regards
Hi Free
you say you are romantic. My post addressed to you in the other forum is not an encouragement or to demoralize you.
many folks have said that they are romantic, I see a different view: one's need to give love so that one can receive love. We are humans, we love to have someone loving us, popularity, fame, etc. How we go about getting it is up to us. This can be an Achilles heel for many.
Regards
Bro Deli,
Nope, u did not discourage me at all. If anything some of the things u said helped me clarify my own perspectives and I thank you. I am first a giver - it's in my nature to give, before I receive. However, I no longer want to give without receiving a fair amount of returns, especially after my 1st failure where I had been giving for years, but still she's never satisfied.
After my recent experience, I do see some things differently. Even my r/s with Dancer has changed somewhat. I now put my expectations from the r/s out in the open and asked her to do the same. Discussion in process. Dun want anymore guesswork, so that there is less stress. Also I am not planning things as detailed so there is more room/space for all parties. Bro Thaivistor had the same advice me, so I think I am getting it more right this time.
Disclaimer: I am not guaranteeing everything will work out, cos I dun know. Living each day as it comes and enjoying what I have now.
It's really like a "love" story written by a professional writer out to convince the "world" to buy his book. If that is yr objective. Congratulation...you have succeeded.
Is just unbelievable that the "nice and colourful" words you put on your so call "love ones" just come and go like a storm. Not once....not twice..... I believe many more to come in your life.
Bro,
life is so 'dramatic' ... hahaha
Continued from here:
http://forum.sammyboy.com/showthread.php?p=556591#post556591
tirak99
Registered User
Posts: 177
(8/26/04 1:53 pm)
Disclaimer: I'm leaving this portion of my post here. Some words or sentence may be harsh. You got to accept it. I don't see any wrong on that. This is not sammyboy forum or TGH forum. Only Bro Bahnoo and Bro 88max deem the right to remove it.
I have the right to express what I feel. I just don't like our posts here were being unscruplously abused in sammyboy forum. This is the fact what had happened in your r/s. It could be partially true, but you can always defend yourself against our post. I had removed this temporary post to cool down the situation. I do value our friendship (You and me).
If you think I had accused you (wrongly) on the SIM card issues and the TGH forum ID. I'm pretty fine with that. Only you and I knew the whole stories (exchange of series of sms within that couple of days). Giving reasons like "busy" is totally unacceptable. Next time, if you want to drop me an email. Please write straight to the point of the intention and don't go round the bush.
I do have to apologies for my poor command of english cos I'm not born locally. So far, Only Bro 88max, Bro Bahnoo, Bro dargonfly75 are awared where I'm from.
chok dee na krup.
Edited by: tirak99 at: 9/1/04 3:46 am
Yomun, my little boy. U are such an ass***e, and have nothing better to do but to go pick up some outdated thread, trying to highlight issues that has already been resolved between the parties concerned. calling u a kaypo is a gross understatement.
Do you think I have nothing better to do than to be at tirak88's beck and call, to give him back his SIM card at the time convenient to him? U think I borrowed his SIM card? Goondu! I did him a favor by topping up his card so that it will not expire. And since his next visit is in Oct, there is plenty of time to pass it back to him. Tirak88 and I are on good terms, and when we have time, we do meet (like last night). So what are u trying to do? U live your life and and let others live theirs. U talked like you're god in SB Forum, and can condemn and attack anyone u like. Fact is u are nothing to me.You are nowhere in my eyes, no where near the likes of ThaivisitorYour past bitter experience shows thru in so much of what u do. For me, I may be sad somethings had to happen, but then I have no need to be bitter. Nor the ladies I have loved. When it is all said and done, I think I have lived a fuller life, and experienced much more. What experience do u really have? Cheonging I know u got. What else? In how many parts of the world? What have you done that can be of something to be proud of in this global economy?
U can say what u want. I will share what I experience. I dun need to pre-plan anything I post simply cos I have to be afraid of being flamed. And by the way, I dun have tirak88's email address and also sms is not my usual style of communication. He could have simply left a voice mail for me.
For your information, if you are getting cheap thrills out of this saga, I am sorry to let you know that what I do with my life is not in the slightest way affect by your efforts. Sorry, no more time to entertain u. Rather spend time on my work and my Dancer + ppl that deserves my time more. Have fun. The kind of thrills u seemed to enjoy are rather cheap to me.
thaiboy
03-09-2004, 06:07 PM
Bro free.....the best is keep your r/s story closed door dun post on forum, wat for?? i dun understand y u post on forum, to get more attention? To show u are great lover. i really damm blur???
Bro free.....the best is keep your r/s story closed door dun post on forum, wat for?? i dun understand y u post on forum, to get more attention? To show u are great lover. i really damm blur???
Well, when I started in SB forum, I shared more because I knew there are others like me who approach a r/s in a way that is different than most cheongsters. After all, I am but a cheongster who has retired from the scene. You can say I have become jaded. And also that being the 1st time I got emotionally so deep with a TG, I wanted to of course find out more. Little did I realise that there are people who held so one-sided views, to the point it is almost a passion for them to whack down every r/s, even those that could progress as per normal r/s, except it is long distance in nature.
Boasting of being a great lover? I have never said that and if anything, I play down sex in my r/s, cos it is not THE need for me, even though it is still a need, cos I am a human after all. But my ability to abstain is better than most. There are many reasons why I would pursue a r/s and sex is not impt to me at the early stage. So a great lover I am not. I dun have much conquests to boast of, nor am I interested to do so. I have not had countless gals like some ppl, cos I tend to stick to the same person if I can.
It has been a good lesson in life - to get to know ppl who have great balanced views and also to read about some who hold really strong views on certain areas, literally to the point of obsession. I wonder what these guys will think/act if one day day they ever meet with the gal of their dreams. Will they throw the baby out with the bath water, or will they recognize her for who she is, and take a different course with them? I wish them well.
Having gone thru what I have, I still find that I am able to a large extent hold on to my views as to how I see the TGs that I dated (not TGs in general cos I do not know enough to generalise). Of course I do recognize that many stories I heard in SB are also true, having seen some for myself and even experienced a few over the years since 1989.
I have since discovered other LOS-oriented forums where the marjority orf the members hold more balanced views, be they Thais, Asians, Westerners, male or female. Our outlook on r/s with the opposite sex is global. My idea is to live life,for I dun need to cheong to in order to live. I have no wish to fight senseless battles with some ppl in SB, cos there is really nothing worthwhile in fighting with these few ppl. In the end ecerybody loses, and I am no fan of lose-lose situations. I wish all well, especially those who think that they have "won" for I pity them. There is so much to life with a woman friend (TG or otherwise, tirak or peun) but these people dun seem to see it. I for one have many platonic relationships with many lady friends. My span of friends ranges from condemned prisons in jail to govt ministers, and I treasure everyone of them. One of my best friends has been behind bars for 20+years now, and I am not ashamed to be seen visiting him. End of the day, we have been together for 35 years now. That to me, is friendship.
One of my regrets is that I have never managed to get to know you, having met you together with our mutual friend only once. Hope the chance still exist in future. Maybe I can look u up in BKK. Wish u well in your business.
Take care. Thanks for all the nice occasional advice you have been giving me right from the beginning. I have never forgotten them. I will continue to learn in my r/s with the one I chose, as best as I can. Ater all, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
siamcutey
03-09-2004, 06:59 PM
Bro free.....the best is keep your r/s story closed door dun post on forum, wat for?? i dun understand y u post on forum, to get more attention? To show u are great lover. i really damm blur???
Ah Charn, you are back. hahaha
Cross-fire better conceal and cover. If not later kenna shot.
hahaha
SC
siamcutey
03-09-2004, 07:09 PM
EDITED DUE TO TOO LENGTHY
Take care. Thanks for all the nice occasional advice you have been giving me right from the beginning. I have never forgotten them. I will continue to learn in my r/s with the one I chose, as best as I can. Ater all, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Dear Free,
Many bros gave you advises. You said you never forget their words of advises. But 1 thing you definitely forget. Your hand type "you never forget", but you never really managed to remember to apply them in life.
Bystanders see the whole picture clearer.
Remember months back, I "challenged" you to post your story in sawadee forum? Eventually, after a while, you did, though only recently. The people in sawadee are there in thailand for how many donkey years. They are very experienced in thai culture. I leave the rest such as Deli, 88Max, BahNoo, HuaNgoo to tell you what is right n wrong. And they did.
Real Friends are those who dare to tell you off when you do something wrong. Bad Friends are those who do the complete opposite.
Now the ball is in your court on whether you can accept what they say.
SC
MrDevil
03-09-2004, 07:24 PM
In my opinion, what siamboy did by plagiarising the postings from another forum over to here is wrong.
If he wants the public to judge and see what is fact and fantasy, he could instead put a link to sawadee instead. This I think no one will have any complains.
If one person wants to post in a public forum, he must understand what he wrote is readable under the public eyes. The motive of posting is to let others read and be open to the idea of what others reply. Good or bad POV, the others can choose to reply back
SC
Fully agreed with you on this. How different is this from spreading rumours base on hear-say without knowing the real stories and full details behind? Regardless if the love stories of bro free sweet or sour, it's his journey and his life. As an outsider and reader, we could have our opinions and critism but dont we got to spare a moment to consider the feeling of the one getting the hit? I bet siamboy wont wish someone posting his sad story over here too.
siamcutey
03-09-2004, 07:58 PM
Fully agreed with you on this. How different is this from spreading rumours base on hear-say without knowing the real stories and full details behind?
Errr, actually its different. Rumours are baseless and not the truth. While the story is actually posted in SAWADEE forum.
Like I said before, its wrong to plagiarise without permission from the authors or the forum owners. What siamboy should really do is to post the link instead and leave the rests to read and judge.
SAWADEE FORUM LINK (http://p082.ezboard.com/bsawadee85516)
Siamboy can even create a nick in SAWADEE and speak his POV, then I think no one will have any complains. And definitely the SAWADEE gang will not mind too with the sudden increase in their bandwidth being used.
By plagiarising over, many people see no head no tail and could not really make out what is being said. Others like MrDevil might also think its rumours.
Also many other brothers in love problems with their TIRAKS can go over SAWADEE and read at the stuff being written. Lots of inputs, discussions esp the puying part. With the in house residents such as 88Max, HuaNgoo, BahNgoo, Deli, it sure is a very good read if you look at the postings.
Maybe you guys think I TOKCOK too much, but its my views afterall.
PS: Heard MAGIX not bad. ;)
hahaha
SC
GiddlyGook
03-09-2004, 09:09 PM
Not on any particular side. Tried to follow the story; man is it long. I've never seen anyone deconstruct/dissect a relationship so much. Can someone post a summary.
What was done was not plagiarism. Certainly not good netiquette (but only from a bandwidth perspective because a repost is a no-no). Plagiarism is when you take someone's words and present them as your own. The poster did not do that. His posts (or re-posts) indicated who the source was.
If you post in a public forum, by definition, you cannot expect privacy.
thaiboy
03-09-2004, 09:41 PM
Ah Charn, you are back. hahaha
Cross-fire better conceal and cover. If not later kenna shot.
hahaha
SC
Ah N** you back also huh, let them shoot la...long time never kana liao :D
Dear Free,
Many bros gave you advises. You said you never forget their words of advises. But 1 thing you definitely forget. Your hand type "you never forget", but you never really managed to remember to apply them in life.
Bystanders see the whole picture clearer.
Remember months back, I "challenged" you to post your story in sawadee forum? Eventually, after a while, you did, though only recently. The people in sawadee are there in thailand for how many donkey years. They are very experienced in thai culture. I leave the rest such as Deli, 88Max, BahNoo, HuaNgoo to tell you what is right n wrong. And they did.
Real Friends are those who dare to tell you off when you do something wrong. Bad Friends are those who do the complete opposite.
Now the ball is in your court on whether you can accept what they say.
SC
Samcutey,
I appreciate what Thaivisitor said to me - he cannot and will not judge my Dancer unless he gets to meet her in person. Until then, he is not in a position to say anything, much less pass judgement. And I believe that he will able to give an accurate opion. That is so true and it reflects his thinking on ppl who may want to compare the Neurs and the Issans. I support him in that. I have had the opportunity to spend with a Neur and an Issan. I see no difference in them, other than their unique personality difference. They are both great women. Again, I have also met gals (Ao jai damn geng) from both areas that I will go out of my way to avoid. And I've met/dated a Japanese, a PRC and an Australians gal. Guess what, you'll find the same type of gals there too.
As for posting in Sawadee, you may want to recall that I hardly posted in SB too for a long time. Simply because I was way too busy. Sometimes earning money is more impt leh. Also, it is impossible to post everything that happened and usually it would be on things that happens recently and are therefore at the top of my mind.
I apppreciate constructive advice (not always pleasant) from ppl, but I must eval them and apply them as I see fit, not to just take everything log, stock and barrel. Only one of the bros I know have met with Rain, and he sees what I see too - basically a wonderful woman. Cos it is a fact that no other bro have met Rain or Dancer; 88Max included. We almost a chance to meet, but too bad he was caught upcountry and had to cancel the appt last minute. If he had met Rain and told me what he felt (assuming also good), perhaps I may have been more patient with her, I dun know.
Anyway u do not know what are the advice I have taken and what I considered not applicable in my situation. It will suffice to say that much of the time, I made my own decisions, but definitely tempered by tghe advice of a few key people. U may not realised it, but I listen to you too, and I want to thank you for opening my eyes to a few things I had not expected.
Yes, one can say I am idealistic. I am and I am not ashame to admit it. That is also my strengths for with my idealism and optimism, I have done many things that others said cannot be done. But again, w/o idealism, what is life.
However I beg to differ on one area. If I had been idealistic about my r/s with Rain, in the face of a major area of incompatibility, I (and her) would have tried to carry on. But we had to face reality, that a problem that we had tot was insignificant had become a time bomb . As to how romantic I really am, how can anyone (esp a guy) make that conclusion in like an hour's (with about 8 guys around somemore). I have not mentioned anything on what I normally do when with my gals (or even female friends). For women colleagues who are happily married to tell me (and their husbands in front of me) - "If only my husband will do for me what u do for you gal, I would be nmost happy". Well, at least to the person who "suffered" most under my crazy romantic ways (Rain), that is something she felt bad about, cos she is the opposite, and it made her feel that she had been very unfair to me.
I think I have enough compliments from ladies (gfs, close friends, colleagues, and esp friends of my tiraks) to know where I stand. Who would u wake up at 4am to walk to a market to buy roses for your gal, while she is asleep? I wouldn;t even have 2nd thoughts - I did it, not once but a few times.
siamcutey
03-09-2004, 11:48 PM
its not bad but too expensive. i m sure u know about the alternatives. :p
There is no such thing as expensive as long as it can cure one's needs and satisfy them. Most important thing is use liao must song.
As for alternatives, seriously, I never use "drugs" b4, cos don't need it yet. Maybe will need it one day.
hahaha
SC
siamcutey
03-09-2004, 11:55 PM
Not on any particular side. Tried to follow the story; man is it long. I've never seen anyone deconstruct/dissect a relationship so much. Can someone post a summary.
If you post in a public forum, by definition, you cannot expect privacy.
I think if it is summarised, you wun get the whole picture. kekeke
As for privacy, that I believed a lot of people do it simply by not posting. If one wants to post his happenings on a public forum, he must expect all kinds of replies to come.
In a private forum, you don't really get the GOOD replies. The GOOD meaning GOOD advices. Because in a private forum, everyone knows each other and scared of spoiling friendship, everyone hold their guns. What's the point? At the end of the day, its all nice little words such as " Congrats Bro", "Wish you all the best"........... But does it help? No, it doesn't
SC
siamcutey
04-09-2004, 12:07 AM
Samcutey,
I appreciate what Thaivisitor said to me - he cannot and will not judge my Dancer unless he gets to meet her in person. Until then, he is not in a position to say anything, much less pass judgement. And I believe that he will able to give an accurate opion. That is so true and it reflects his thinking on ppl who may want to compare the Neurs and the Issans. I support him in that. I have had the opportunity to spend with a Neur and an Issan. I see no difference in them, other than their unique personality difference. They are both great women. Again, I have also met gals (Ao jai damn geng) from both areas that I will go out of my way to avoid. And I've met/dated a Japanese, a PRC and an Australians gal. Guess what, you'll find the same type of gals
You can earn a lot of money, you can be very successful in your career, but when it comes to dealing with Thai Girls, you got to listen to them.
Thai Girls are a very different breed. Very different.
As for the PRCs, the Australians, the Japanese, the people here can't help you much because the brothers here mostly drunk in Thai Beer, mesmerized with Thai Culture and on the bed of Thai Girls. :p
Like I said, there is no 1 bamboo overturning all the boats of people. What we all say is in general.
As time goes, we read the Private Dancer, unknowingly we become the Character in it. The Sad Fuck. Good Friends r those who pull you out. For this, you need bystanders. People standing around you to pull you out when the need arises. And many are actually doing that. Just that you try to think with your heart not your head.
Like what Thaivisitor said, he used the correct words. You are idealistic, not a romantic.
Choke Dee
SC
cyrus
04-09-2004, 11:04 AM
hahaha, bro free, my opinion is not based on our meeting together with a group of bros but more on your postings lah....
By the way, this IS idealistic thinking on the women's part.
My 2 cents worth.
Wah mah see ah nee gong. See if they will say the same thing if the husband is earning miserable salary. :rolleyes:
MrDevil
05-09-2004, 11:36 AM
[QUOTE=siamcutey]Errr, actually its different. Rumours are baseless and not the truth. While the story is actually posted in SAWADEE forum.
Like I said before, its wrong to plagiarise without permission from the authors or the forum owners. What siamboy should really do is to post the link instead and leave the rests to read and judge.
Rumours could be baseless or otherwise but it surely base on spreading hear-say without knowing head-tail, how different is this with a bunch of housewife gossiping at market base on hear say. Whatever it is, he should have done nothing. He could have read and post his opinion in response to bro free posting at Sawadee. He could voiced out all his disagreement and flair of attack for he like but he chosen to create the stir for the reason known only to him.
SAWADEE FORUM LINK (http://p082.ezboard.com/bsawadee85516)
In anyway, how does it concern him anyway and whats the motive behind? To prove that he is right that all puyings are unloveable or to prove he's the God Of LOS?
Siamboy can even create a nick in SAWADEE and speak his POV, then I think no one will have any complains. And definitely the SAWADEE gang will not mind too with the sudden increase in their bandwidth being used.
I have a nick at Sawadee and followed thru the postings there too but it did not crossed my mind a single second to post them over here.
By plagiarising over, many people see no head no tail and could not really make out what is being said. Others like MrDevil might also think its rumours.
I guess I am one of the more avid reader and know more about the stories than most but this is bro free's journey and life, what I comment is just my opinion and he is entitled to his. Each may have different mindset and principles when it comes to r/s, nothing is right or wrong, just different.
Also many other brothers in love problems with their TIRAKS can go over SAWADEE and read at the stuff being written. Lots of inputs, discussions esp the puying part. With the in house residents such as 88Max, HuaNgoo, BahNgoo, Deli, it sure is a very good read if you look at the postings.
Maybe you guys think I TOKCOK too much, but its my views afterall.
Some are more cautious in committing, some may wanted to see return before giving while bro free seems to be more willingly and readily to commit and give, something not many man has the courage. Those who have fallen, stand up again with his head risen will grew wiser and make a man out of boys. Those who have fallen and continue to live in self-denial will always remain as a boy, wasting the years of living ahead.
I cant understand why some wanna insist his view to others, why cant let the views to be more balance.
PS: Heard MAGIX not bad. ;)
You got to try it to believe, not my style to sell flower praise flower smell good. Magix will be distributed in Hdy market very soon (in few weeks time) and should enter BKK market next. Another endorsement of Magix wonders.
hahaha
SC
MrDevil
05-09-2004, 11:37 AM
its not bad but too expensive. i m sure u know about the alternatives. :p
Quality always come with price. Wanna cheap? I can recommend some even cheaper but dont put too high expectation hor. If the alternative is more superior, I refund you the difference.
MrDevil
05-09-2004, 11:56 AM
Think you pay advertisement fees to Sammyboy until blur liao. What rumours? The postings are all there to see. Maybe you can pay advertisement fees to Sawadee forum to edit the postings? ;)
so why do you need to post it over here post by post from Sawadee? Scared others dont know how to click a link over? Other regulars should have knew about Sawadee long before, why bother? Perhaps you could also try to overtake our position and edit my post ;). Get a life to live, willya?
MrDevil
05-09-2004, 12:16 PM
As time goes, we read the Private Dancer, unknowingly we become the Character in it. The Sad Fuck. Good Friends r those who pull you out. For this, you need bystanders. People standing around you to pull you out when the need arises. And many are actually doing that. Just that you try to think with your heart not your head.
SC
Having read Private Dancer, I must say the writer has pretty detail description of thais from the perspective of a farang. The characters are projected to the extreme, from a very negative view. I dont deny that such puying characters and such bitter situation do exist but it takes two to make a clap. If the man could demand and insist to be only one and forever, I believe their r/s will be pretty sweet too. Not to forget that the entire saga is pictured on the stage of dating and initial stage of being together, they have not entered into marriage. The man have not committed a permanent r/s with her yet too, nor he is ready and willing to look at things from a balanced perspective.
Having say all these, I myself have fallen not once, not twice, enough to write a more beautiful and engaging story book if I have that level of English command, but I am still holding my neutral view in regards to r/s and puying. If one became paranoid and having phobia, he is better off to stop cheonging and be a good mummy boy at home. Falling into tirak trap sometimes could be sweet if one play by the rules of game right. Perhaps, I am a little more lucky for having not met yet with "tiraks" that is out to con me or my money. Yes, I was the cold blooded devil in some cases but doest that represent that my heart is any darker than most man? Nah, the bros who cheonged regularly enough with me will know.
MrDevil
05-09-2004, 12:20 PM
I song can or not? :)
Eh how you know I scared nobody will know about Sawadee? Are you sure everyone knows about Sawadee? So only old time regulars like you can go and read Sawadee? So exclusive arhhh. Like that 'newbies' like me can fly kite liao ler.
you song, you can always plays with your marbles at home, kiddie. Why mess here on adults affairs? Hope this level and tune of language suits you better.
If you worry not all samster know about Sawadee, why not pay ads fee to promote Sawadee? Anyone can go to any public forum, did I say anything otherwise?
cyrus
05-09-2004, 12:35 PM
should consider replacing kopi and consume more liang-teh to bring down the 'fire'. :D
AhLongSanJr
05-09-2004, 12:58 PM
Hey siamboy, Uncle San telling you nicely not to disturb my VVIP top poster Mr Devil ok? And also to stop sprouting nonsense here if not I will kick your backside!
AhLongSanJr
05-09-2004, 01:00 PM
you song, you can always plays with your marbles at home, kiddie. Why mess here on adults affairs? Hope this level and tune of language suits you better.
If you worry not all samster know about Sawadee, why not pay ads fee to promote Sawadee? Anyone can go to any public forum, did I say anything otherwise?Bro Mr Devil, like we say 'MAI KAN LANG' this kind of kids. His lanjiao buay kia that's why spends his time here talking cock.
Bro Mr Devil, like we say 'MAI KAN LANG' this kind of kids. His lanjiao buay kia that's why spends his time here talking cock.
Agree, lah. All this time, while that joker is trying to show that he is the king, little does he know that he is lord over only a small tiny winnie part of the real world. Kind of like the frog in the well. Aka "Male version of the turtle"
And all this time, I sit back back and enjoy myself with my tirak and more. Maybe I ought to thank him for the amusement he is providing. Maybe he really got nothing better to do, so sit at PC and LPPL. Dun waste our time lah.
He is like a cry baby demanding attention, only seeing things his own way. Let's do other thigns that are worthy of our time and attention. Like flying up again in a few hrs.
MrDevil
05-09-2004, 01:44 PM
Bro Mr Devil, like we say 'MAI KAN LANG' this kind of kids. His lanjiao buay kia that's why spends his time here talking cock.
Thank you bro. I am not too concern with his childish playbut its rather sad to see how a chongster behaving like him.
MrDevil
05-09-2004, 02:39 PM
Please lah, you are a salesman, i m also one. so quit all the sales crap talk. If you think your product is so superior and come at a reasonable price, why are we not allowed to talk about what your competition has to offer here? You have already monopolised this place , its not a free market. is this fair competition? How are ppl supposed to know about alternative product here??
so dont tell me your higher priced product is superior to the cheaper ones.
Just my views.
If one is a good salesman, one should know better how to market his product than grudging since everyone know we holds exclusive rights here, my friend. We dont monopolised the market, we just holds the advertisement rights. So why not arrange to meet up with interested bros here and promote his product. Or Put up ads elsewhere, I am sure other forums like tokcok.com, bkktonite, sawadee, etc.. would be happily welcoming his exclusive ads. I will not grudge a word on it.
I am not telling you that Magix is better, I am asking you to try and prove to yourselve. I am sure lots of bros here have tried more than a product, not just Magix. We have won over many customers who were on Viagra, Cialis and god-know-what. The customer will speak for themselve, not me.
Magix is coming to 1 year aniverssary on SB next month, if its not good enough.. how could we afford to pay for our exclusive rights for so long. BTW, there are lots more samsters joined SB long before me, why the interests to compete for the ads now? Red-Eye with our success? There are much effort and work that just putting a banner up.
I cant help to wonder a thing, sometimes Siamboy is promoting while another time sex_maniacs, any relation? BTW, this thread is meant to discuss about Mia Farang, not Magix, if you wish to discuss further with me, I welcome your PM, email, IM or any mode of contact you wish.
MarkNgSiongBoon
05-09-2004, 03:20 PM
Siamboy and his supporters have an axe to grind with many samsters here. His sole purpose is to launch personal attacks on the senior samsters here. From his postings and that of his supporters, it is obvious he is a 'reborn' samster sporting a new nick and out to exact 'revenge'. But we (those out of the fray)from a bystander's point of view can see that most of his arguments (valid or otherwise) are all tinged with malicious overtunes targetted at certain samsters. I guess even the blind can see what Siamboy and company is trying to do, to discredit the seniors and sully their reputation. I am not too sure how the seniors have 'wronged' him, but it seems he is hellbent on carrying on with his smear campaign here, with almost all of his postings dedicated to what appears to be his only mission in life now.
So unless the boss do something and consign him to guest status as with the last time, I guess we the brothers here have to let him go thru the democratic process and let our votes decide. If by chance he hangs on by a single rep point (kudos to his supporters) then so be it and we just have to ignore him an hope he dies off when attention wanes. I thought he was not coming back after the last time, so guys guess we have to kill him off again. It's a dirty job but somebody got to do it, so bros let's take out the garbage!
Mr.romance
05-09-2004, 04:30 PM
Siamboy and his supporters have an axe to grind with many samsters here. His sole purpose is to launch personal attacks on the senior samsters here. From his postings and that of his supporters, it is obvious he is a 'reborn' samster sporting a new nick and out to exact 'revenge'. But we (those out of the fray)from a bystander's point of view can see that most of his arguments (valid or otherwise) are all tinged with malicious overtunes targetted at certain samsters. I guess even the blind can see what Siamboy and company is trying to do, to discredit the seniors and sully their reputation. I am not too sure how the seniors have 'wronged' him, but it seems he is hellbent on carrying on with his smear campaign here, with almost all of his postings dedicated to what appears to be his only mission in life now.
So unless the boss do something and consign him to guest status as with the last time, I guess we the brothers here have to let him go thru the democratic process and let our votes decide. If by chance he hangs on by a single rep point (kudos to his supporters) then so be it and we just have to ignore him an hope he dies off when attention wanes. I thought he was not coming back after the last time, so guys guess we have to kill him off again. It's a dirty job but somebody got to do it, so bros let's take out the garbage!
Bro..U got my 1st vote....
Siamboy and his supporters have an axe to grind with many samsters here. His sole purpose is to launch personal attacks on the senior samsters here. From his postings and that of his supporters, it is obvious he is a 'reborn' samster sporting a new nick and out to exact 'revenge'. :
:
So unless the boss do something and consign him to guest status as with the last time, I guess we the brothers here have to let him go thru the democratic process and let our votes decide. If by chance he hangs on by a single rep point (kudos to his supporters) then so be it and we just have to ignore him an hope he dies off when attention wanes. I thought he was not coming back after the last time, so guys guess we have to kill him off again. It's a dirty job but somebody got to do it, so bros let's take out the garbage!
Yep, he is obviously trying to create trouble. The irony is that about 1.5 years ago, when I began my walk with my Dancer, he was trying so.... hard to accuse me of being blind. He is so adamant that she is like ALL the bad puyings he had known (maybe his rotten luck never got him to meet the good ones) and she is all out try to con me. He alleged that I am fool to fall in love with her. Guess what, he dun even know her personally. So what is he to make all these empty vessel noises (noticed I don;t even use "who").
Well my tirak and I persevered and our initial friendship did grow into love that lasted a year.Then Dancer and I splitted for a while (no conning involved, much to his disappointment?), for normal reasons we both mutually accept (mainly due to situational differences). But thru the breakup, we staill stayed as good friends, and magically, we are now back again, re-discovering other, and appreciating the love we had shared and want to build on it. Sure, we were idealistic then, and never expected to break up. But then we also did not expect to be back together again. I believe things happened for a reason.
Much of the past problems were resolved (in fact disappeared), as we had both grown "older", if not wiser. Of course there will be other problems but so what? We jsut got to learn how to face and tackle them as they come. We never expected a bed of roses, anyway.
So this time, I am the bad guy and not just the stupid guy? And she s no longer the Con-woman but the victim? Why? Cos he has got to find a new angle from which to attack, right? But really, what has changed between Dancer and I? Nothing!
Is he so insanely jealous that our young if amateurish love in the past was strong enough to sustain us to carry on again, after we realised that we still want to be together? And that our love for each other is deeper that we even know ourselves?
This time, what is his argument about? I dun know. He just wants to grind an axe, any axe.
Surely anyone with common sense can tell that this guy just doesn;t care what argument he gets himself into - he just wants to win, irregardless of the means he used, be the gentlemanly or low-down. I pity him, really.
F-boy
05-09-2004, 10:18 PM
Glad to see that siamboy the trouble-maker is back and up to his old tricks again.
hahaha
FB
this question is to 'free'. remembering asking free about the duration to stay in singapore for social visit pass. read on the ica site the state about this:
quote-
"Visitors are advised to take note of the number of days of stay given in the social visit pass in order not to overstay. It is a punishable offence to overstay in Singapore beyond the number of days given. For example, if you arrived on 1st January, you can stay in Singapore until 15th January for a 14-day pass or 31st January for a 30-day pass."
so how to qulify for the 30 days pass<
thank you
siamcutey
06-09-2004, 01:25 AM
To qualify for a 30 day pass, the person have to come into SG by air as woodlands, 2nd link and WTC can only issue 14 day pass. The person need a return air ticket SHOWING the return date of the air ticket as 30 days from the date of arrival.
Hope this helps. :cool:
The extra 2 weeks I think need go ICA and extend. All social visit is 2 weeks? Got 30 days??
SC
thaiboy
06-09-2004, 01:34 AM
To qualify for a 30 day pass, the person have to come into SG by air as woodlands, 2nd link and WTC can only issue 14 day pass. The person need a return air ticket SHOWING the return date of the air ticket as 30 days from the date of arrival.
Hope this helps. :cool:
30 days not easy to get also...sometime up to the immgration mood....some come in with 14 days air tickets also manage to get 30 days visa...some knn only give 5 days...7 days also have....money show also play part of it if the officer wan to see money...
siamcutey
06-09-2004, 01:52 AM
There IS 30 days social visit pass. I didn't know it was difficult to get as I got it all the time for my wife even before we were married. Of course you need to accompany her at the immigration and the air ticket must NOT be "open".
Before you married?? I think with the age of your kids, long time liao. kekeke:D
SC
AhLongSanJr
06-09-2004, 03:05 AM
KNNCCB which CB kia deduct points dun dare leave nick? Dun be a coward? My points very hard from -14 kena pull up by all my Blood Brothers one okay, dun play play, what also can play you dun fuck with my points. Now very stable I want to maintain like this. Moderation very 'cham' one. Like muted like that.
thaiboy
06-09-2004, 10:36 AM
There IS 30 days social visit pass. I didn't know it was difficult to get as I got it all the time for my wife even before we were married. Of course you need to accompany her at the immigration and the air ticket must NOT be "open".
Once you get a 30 day social visit pass, each time you renew at ICA will also be 30 days. ICA will give 14 days if the socail visit pass was 14 days from the onset.
bro u are lucky.....not all like you so lucky.......
The Crow
06-09-2004, 07:06 PM
Wah you also another stalker. Follow me until geylang folder. Kekeke. :D
Stalk you? Where got time? Unless you've recently faced reality, this forum is a public forum of sorts... I just happen to be subscribed to it...
Speaking on stalking, aren't you the best in the business? Please refer to the link below if you're too deranged to know what I mean...
http://forum.sammyboy.com/showpost.php?p=550901&postcount=17
:D
The Crow
06-09-2004, 07:17 PM
Told you not interested to meet losers like you. If you feel compelled to stalk me. Please call. No. under signature.
And waste money on IDD calls just to hear you bark your head off (you probaby get off on that don't you?)... No thanks... :D
thaiboy
07-09-2004, 10:16 AM
Waaaaa... now can post other ppl's real name ah? Like that what for have nicks? Also, now if meet up with samsters must be careful as they might reveal your name if the relationship turn bad?????Moreover I tot it is an unwritten "gentleman's" agreement in forums that you keep personally names out. :confused:
ya man i agree....like tat home address, hp no., wife name, sons name, mistress name all reveal out on net.......hummmm....think better dun meet any samters from now on...... :eek:
Darkstorm
07-09-2004, 12:19 PM
Waaaaa, first we had the "mafias" now the "army", makes me shiver leh... I so scared, kekekekeke :D
Had a laugh when I read this one...Thaivisitor, you are one humorous guy...if you are talking about the Singapore mafia and Singapore army, I doubt if they scare you :)
AhLongSanJr
07-09-2004, 01:10 PM
Aiyah... don't worry if you get moderated. just PM me and I'll get the bros to bring you up again lor.... but not if you kenna deduct -999. That one nobody can help hor... :DThanks lah Blood Brother, I just worked up when got attacks on my good brothers and coward minus my points keep quiet. But I too busy to read what the fucker is posting so fucking long winded. If he come Singapore I whack him! Even in Thailand, I can try lah last time got some Kar Kia run road to siamloh now doing not bad can enlist their help to hunt down this fucker.
Btw, when compiling the guests list for my D & D I noticed at least 2 samsters got minus -900+ one. POWER leh! How come can kena whacked so badly? I thought Uncle San jia lat already, they even worst! :D
AhLongSanJr
07-09-2004, 01:15 PM
Had a laugh when I read this one...Thaivisitor, you are one humorous guy...if you are talking about the Singapore mafia and Singapore army, I doubt if they scare you :)Singapore Police is biggest MAFIA!
rocketscientist
07-09-2004, 03:54 PM
Sillypore mafia and army I not scare lah... but sammyboy forum mafia and now got sammyboy forum army liow....this I very scared leh...got army, police, mafia etc.....wait Fire Dept also come! :D
Sillypore mafia and army I not scare lah....
ai ya uncle ThV ... dat day I forgot to take pic with you.
If I go GL walk walk and got mafia + trouble finds me, then I show our pic to them ... duno like that can anot har? :)
ryanlim
07-09-2004, 08:22 PM
If I go GL walk walk and got mafia + trouble finds me, then I show our pic to them ... duno like that can anot har? :)
can can.....they'll let you bonk for free also :D
Mr.romance
07-09-2004, 10:16 PM
I think as far as forum is concern, I like to think of myself as neutral leh... Mr Romance, Cummings, Cyrus, etc, etc are my friends (we've met over kopi) and I've not even met SM and SB but I like to see them remain in this forum for "fair speech" leh... kekekekeke
Not only friends...brotherhood also leh...
:D
bollocksman
07-09-2004, 10:36 PM
eh! how cum your old bruthers not in your brotherhood list.!!
;) btw, havent I seen your avatar and Signature before ???
very familiar :confused:
popcorn_m3
07-09-2004, 11:34 PM
wah lao long time naber cum in and see once see so happening
some more got WWE :eek:
dargonfly75
08-09-2004, 12:32 AM
got army, police, mafia etc.....wait Fire Dept also come! :D
Then you'll need the medics.. To top it up, how abt some sexy nurses? :D
Haiz.. recently got so much flaming and arguments ard.. can we put a
band-aid or a condom if you guys prefer and get on with the serious business of cheonging?
Peace brothers.. peace. Not piss ok?
bollocksman
08-09-2004, 07:49 AM
Its getting really interesting! bros here just be careful not to spill it in real life
into actual violence, due to the macho posturing and talk.
take care!
siamcutey
08-09-2004, 10:31 AM
Its getting really interesting! bros here just be careful not to spill it in real life
into actual violence, due to the macho posturing and talk.
take care!
Don't worry. I believe all the macho posturing and talk is made in the fun of the forum. To spice up the levels.
The real people who do it, do it without any sound.
SC
farark
08-09-2004, 10:50 AM
Siamboy aka Adrian, please stop all your nonsense and stop draging your poor friend Pablo into this also. This is friendly warning from the General. :mad:
Not being part of this heated argument and as an an observer on this issue, I think that we should seek out to keeping to the anonymous nature of users of this forum.
Just my 2 satang's worth...
There you have it gentlemen. The second post where personal info is revealed. It's not about how many letters the name is revealed. There's a wilful intention to reveal personal details. If I were you I hire AhLongsanJR to whack GeneralSUCHINDA.
Hi Siamboy,
I believe you have quoted my post inadvertently ..... :o
Of cos no problem, cos it just a discussion anyone Mature enough can come and share.
Of cos no problem, cos it just a discussion anyone Mature enough can come and share.
Bravo. Hope those troublemakers dun rear their ugly heads again
Woah. looks like getting a factory up & going + living long-term in LOS is becoming a distinctive probability.... but target 2006 is still pretty far away... sigh(IMHO) - . Too much involved to go any faster. Sheez. Hope biz climate dun change too much. Lucky tirak not in a hurry.
Any bros managed to set up biz successfully w/o taking a significant amount of time to prepare/raise funds/network, etc? Would like to hear from you.
vaxvms
09-09-2004, 03:03 PM
Any bros managed to set up biz successfully w/o taking a significant amount of time to prepare/raise funds/network, etc? Would like to hear from you.
short time success possible but must be wif the help from close fz who have done it successfully in local
doing business oversea is not like in SG
many Sillopoean still ignorant abt this, like to do it SG style tats Y failed
even SG zheng hu SUCHOU YUEN project also kenna makan big big bcos they wanna 80-20 share
in the end still have to settle for 20-80 share but this to PRC favour
juz my 2 bahts worth
many Sillopoean still ignorant abt this, like to do it SG style tats Y failed
even SG zheng hu SUCHOU YUEN project also kenna makan big big bcos they wanna 80-20 share
in the end still have to settle for 20-80 share but this to PRC favour
juz my 2 bahts worth
that should be - just your (my) 1 rmb worth .... hahaha
Also regarding the SuZhou Ind. Park thing .... The SZ provincial govt rellocate their human/technical/admin resources (from the SZ-SG joint ventures) to a new joint venture with the French conglomerate. Even when Grandpa Lee made noise to the Central (Zhong Yang), they just say: "Ohhh ... its provincial-level issues. We won't interfere" :(
vaxvms
09-09-2004, 04:39 PM
that should be - just your (my) 1 rmb worth .... hahaha
Also regarding the SuZhou Ind. Park thing .... The SZ provincial govt rellocate their human/technical/admin resources (from the SZ-SG joint ventures) to a new joint venture with the French conglomerate. Even when Grandpa Lee made noise to the Central (Zhong Yang), they just say: "Ohhh ... its provincial-level issues. We won't interfere" :(
wow lan tot u onli know INDON
PRC u also interested
*BOW*
wow lan tot u onli know INDON
PRC u also interested
*BOW*
hehehe .... not only PRC, my scope of 'kaypoh reserach' covers HK-SAR and Taiwan oso .... these 2 regions - the former wants democracy and the later wants independent = wait long long loh :cool:
LOS scene .... sorry leh, not familiar - :D
If you dun see The General posting no more, means I gone the Chia Tai Poh way who incidently broke the world record for longest dentention without trial even longer than Nelson Mandela.
stay Sentosa no bad wat .... lots of CKMMs visit Sentosa these days :D
Mod said : Political issues - way off topics ... zap zap
back on track --- MIA FARANG :D
My view = as long as your are not locally born, no way to be at par with the local counterparts, regardless of the amount of time, money and muscles you have.
vaxvms
09-09-2004, 05:12 PM
hehehe .... not only PRC, my scope of 'kaypoh reserach' covers HK-SAR and Taiwan oso .... these 2 regions - the former wants democracy and the later wants independent = wait long long loh :cool:
LOS scene .... sorry leh, not familiar - :D
no wonder ur no. of postings no horse run....
Best business w/o taking a significant amount of time to prepare/raise funds/network is be an OKT.
Just visit MPs and bars, psycho the girl(s) to come over to Singapore. Fly her over (pay for ticket or maybe passport). Put her up in your house or a cheap motel. Post here in FL dome (Got FL contacts!) and your're on your way. Easy, Simple and Fussless and almost everyone can do it (no experience needed!). But it's not exactly legal and also the moral issues come into play but hey! it'd better than trafficking drugs right?
Mia Farangs lah .... why become FLs :confused:
Best business w/o taking a significant amount of time to prepare/raise funds/network is be an OKT.
Just visit MPs and bars, psycho the girl(s) to come over to Singapore. Fly her over (pay for ticket or maybe passport). Put her up in your house or a cheap motel. Post here in FL dome (Got FL contacts!) and your're on your way. Easy, Simple and Fussless and almost everyone can do it (no experience needed!). But it's not exactly legal and also the moral issues come into play but hey! it'd better than trafficking drugs right?
Boss, I thought the whole point of ppl like free looking into Biz in LOSis to establish a living there so that he can be with the gal of his choice? Met both of them before. They seemed a rather complementary pair.
sammyboyfor
15-09-2004, 03:30 PM
Resurrected.
MrDevil
15-09-2004, 04:12 PM
Resurrected.
Resurrected if back for a meaningful purpose but it dont seems to make a difference.
sammyboyfor
15-09-2004, 04:53 PM
Resurrected if back for a meaningful purpose but it dont seems to make a difference.
It's up to the members of the forum to make all threads as meaningful as possible.
siamcutey
15-09-2004, 06:57 PM
Resurrected if back for a meaningful purpose but it dont seems to make a difference.
Resurrect also must read through first. :cool:
Don't understand the meaning of resurrecting this thread if the kpkb posts are still around.
kpkb: shortform for Kao Peh Kao Bu which is in Hokkien. In Chinese, it means Cry Father, Cry Mother. The true meaning behind this phrase means complain for short.
hahaha
SC
don't know where to ask this but if any one here have done this can help .
when foreigner entering to sg they need to fill up social visit pass for short visit.the short visit did not mention in the ica web site.how short a visit is consider. more than 2 weeks? can any bro here advise.thank you
suzuki
11-10-2004, 05:45 PM
article from The Nation
Stigma fading for mia farang
Ask a girl in the rural Northeast what she wants to be when she grows up, and you might hear farmer, teacher, singer, actress – or foreigner’s wife.
Thai women taking Western husbands are nicknamed “mia farang”, and here in Isaan some 15,000 women wear the title with pride. To be a foreigner’s wife is to have money, security, stability, an end to crushing poverty, and by and large, community acceptance of your choice in “career”.
The numbers of teenagers and high school graduates trying to enter the social circles of the mia farang was at first a phenomenon, and now a norm of life in Isaan. Girls trade tips on scoring Western husbands, or seek advice from the increasing amount of schoolmates or older cousins who already have one.
The government is now even asking mia farang to sell Otop products and help bring more foreigners to the Kingdom.
“Try asking any threeyearold girl in a rural village what she would like to be when she grows up, and you would be surprised to hear how many of them reply mia farang,” Adul Jankaew, headman of Ban Nonngarm village in Udon Thani’s Muang district said.
According to Witchai Lormwong, a director of the district school in Ban Phranmuan, becoming a mia farang is often deemed “good and acceptable” by a girl’s friends and family.
“There’s no more question of whether being mia farang is right or wrong. Girls just do it,” Witchai said.
The villagers say that for an Isaan girl, a Westerner is potentially the Prince Charming in their Cinderella story. The right marriage could get them all they need, and much of what they’ve lacked, overnight. “Over there” is associated with bright futures, getting money for doing little to nothing, maybe even becoming rich.
The other option for girls is more traditional: hard work on farms with the prospect of uncertain income.
“Why not marry a foreigner? Its good money,” said “Nong Dum”, a grade 9
student in Ban Jaan village in Roi Et who did not want to reveal her real name.
That philosophy is now getting passed from mother to daughter in Isaan, according to Adul.
“They teach their kids that if someone asks them about what they want with their future, they should reply mia farang,” Adul said.
In Adul’s village, 25 out of 180 families have mia farang wives or mothers, not including those who have yet to get married and those working in the sex industry.
The area is one of many largescale miafarang communities scattered across the region, according to a recent survey by the National Economic and Social Development Board’s regional office.
But the decision to be a foreigner’s wife doesn’t hold appeal for everyone. Prasit Boonchoop, a Ban Jaan village headman, admitted that more and more of the girls in his village and nearby areas are strictly targeting foreigners. But some would rather have the security of poverty at home, rather than the uncertainty of wealth abroad.
“I would rather work hard here on the farm than stay abroad. I don’t know what they are doing there. I just want to study more, till at least grade 12,” said Nong Am, a 15-year-old in Ban Jaan.
But her 21yearold cousin just left for Switzerland on a “student visa” –meaning she has three months to find a mate, according to the family – and Nong Am’s mother is now doing cleaning work in Bangkok, a popular summer activity that provides Bangkok income and exposure to farang men.
“It is common for villagers here to work in Bangkok after the rice farming season, because there are no jobs here. The husbands drive taxis and the wives do cleaning or waitressing jobs in restaurants around the capital,” Prasit said.
“There are at least 100 families from this village working for [businesses] in Chuwit [Kamolwisit]’s Davis Group chain alone. Some get as much as Bt2,000 in tips on a lucky day, compared to their Bt1,200 salary,” he added.
Work in Bangkok or the tourist provinces are a rural girl’s map to meeting foreigners, according to the NESDB study.
Most villagers interviewed by The Nation immediately answered “economic factors” when asked to explain why they would be a mia farang. Currently, the 22 million people in the 19 northeastern provinces earn an income that is three times below the national average and 8.9 times lower than Bangkok’s.
The region still has 6,679 “poor” villages and another 806 “very poor” villages – accounting for 40 per cent of Thailand’s poor – according to a February NESDB report.
Ironically, the government’s Bt1million village fund is helping people move to the city. The money, which people say they will use to fix irrigation ditches or buy cattle, often purchases a ticket to Bangkok, according to the two village headmen.
They’re lured by a desire for material goods, and the quickest fix for that need is a farang husband.
“The villagers compete to be successful people and they measure success through the size of a house, the brand of a car and other luxury items,” Prasit said.
Some roads in mia farang villages put one in mind of Bangkok’s posher residential areas, instead of a village in the dry Northeast. The latest fashionable car might be parked in a garage attached to a Western style luxury rambler, all located behind a solid concrete fence.
The sign to Ban Jaan village is written in Thai and English. Local residents call the village, with its 80 Swiss soninlaws, Ban Jaan Swiss.
“We get a lot of support from farang money,” said village headman Adul, reflecting the level of community acceptance of mia farang.
But not every mia farang fairytale wedding has a happy ending, according to some women outside of the mia farang circle.
“Among the successful cases are the older women, or the ones who’ve been exposed to marriage. Most of the teen mia farang are not successful. They are only in the relationship for money, but they are immature about relationships,” said a food vendor in Udon Thani.
--The Nation 2004-06-16
Thank for the dicussion.It a very good topic.
watchman
12-10-2004, 10:50 PM
Just want to add that the older u are, the more mature thinkin u have. I, for one tend to view things form many different angles especially in the "matter of the hearts" . It matters not what her past was as long she is faithful n feels the same like u do. Can see why foreigners r turnin to this part of the world to look companions. Ladies at their sides know their rights and will take no b.s. 2nd reason ,majority of these guys r long due for a Extreme Makeover. 3rd would be, men tend to look for ladies younger to them n not the other way round. Guess it's in our DNA code. Back home, that would next to impossible. Provided u hv plenty of 'moolahs'!
Guess it's a win-win situation for both side.
My 2 satangs.
suzuki
02-12-2004, 08:52 PM
Hi Bros,
I agree with u that older women tend to be more mature n understanding.Why we go to thailand to look for companion coz the women in our own country demand too many thing which we are unable to give.But we know we can give the thai gal n their family basic standard of living in thailand.
Just want to add that the older u are, the more mature thinkin u have. I, for one tend to view things form many different angles especially in the "matter of the hearts" . It matters not what her past was as long she is faithful n feels the same like u do. Can see why foreigners r turnin to this part of the world to look companions. Ladies at their sides know their rights and will take no b.s. 2nd reason ,majority of these guys r long due for a Extreme Makeover. 3rd would be, men tend to look for ladies younger to them n not the other way round. Guess it's in our DNA code. Back home, that would next to impossible. Provided u hv plenty of 'moolahs'!
Guess it's a win-win situation for both side.
My 2 satangs.
delifrance
03-12-2004, 01:05 PM
The rise of women in modern society and especially in the more economically developed societies has created a note-worthy phenonemon: these women has forgotten how to understand men at the most primeval level.
women in thailand still know and they know how to use this knowledge. so are many other women in Indonesia, Philippines, China, Vietnam, Burma, etc.
One woman from an economically developed society whom I personally know said this: women in ecnomoically developed societies should take one step back and learn from the women of thailand.......there's something that they remembered and practised accordingly which we have long forgotten.
food for thought. *grin*
Snuber
04-12-2004, 12:04 PM
women in ecnomoically developed societies should take one step back and learn from the women of thailand.......there's something that they remembered and practised accordingly which we have long forgotten.
That's why the country draws so many men back besides the baht issue. It's this so-called "Gong Tao" that encaptures the hearts of men & make them feel superior.
But then, it also boils down to the women knowing how to HANDLE a man.
Snuber
04-12-2004, 12:07 PM
Good to see this thread come back.
Glad to see it back as well. You were mentioning some of friends faced alot of challenges having foreign wives or WLs as their wives in another thread. Care to elaborate more here?
BTW, need support from a few more bros with rep power. Please see my signature. :)
The most he can do is to create another new nick & build up his rep again. Maybe can get Sam to ban his IP instead :D
suzuki
26-09-2005, 01:03 AM
Something to share with all the Sammyboy brother.
All these thing i am going to share is my own personal experience. I used to work in thailand before and also have friends who married thai wife(Mia Farang). I can speak basic decent thai,have a fews educated thai friend and learn a lot from thai custom .I can see that a lot of singaporean men went to thailand,vietnam or etc to get a thai wife who is young,pretty and beautiful.But behind all these thai gal r a lot of problems and story.There are a few questions we need to ask ourselves when we go thailand,know the gal for a short period of time then get marry.Things are not so simple, $ really play a part.
Question 1)Is there true love in your realtionship? To be frank,i find a lot of these shotgun marriage a deal,not all marriage.For the thai gal,she just want to get out of poverty.To get out poverty for them is either marry a foreigner's men or get a job that pay well. I dun believe,u can get to know a gal for 1 month then get marry. Dun deceive yourself. For the thai gal family,as long as his daughter can bring back $,she is a good daughter.When she cannot bring back $,she is a bad daughter.
Q2)When u cannot provide what the thai gal want,what will happen?
When u cannot provide the $,she want,all the nonensese such as quarrel,cry etc will come. The popular thing the gal will do is find another man or go back home to thailand when she earn enough. It a very common thing,i have seen a lot of such cases.
Q3)Is both of your in the right frequency?I believe most of the singaporean r educate,our thinking is more western. But for most of the thai gal(not all) r not well educated.For most of them,they think that if they get to marry into singapore,they will have good life. But that not true,we as singaporean men still have to work hard(Scold by boss,Might be sack when recession come,high standard of living).So a lot of the thai gal when they realised that coming to singapore to stay also have to work,they cannot accept it.
To summary all these,i feel that finding a foreigner wife is nothing wrong.But u need to ask yourself the above question n let the gal know that life in singapore is never going to be easy. 1)Know each other well for sometimes first before u get marry,never go for sudden marriage. 2)Know the gal's family too play a very important part too.If the gal family is greedy,they will have a lot of rubbish about needed $ every month.That is not good for u realtionship with u gal too.3)Find a educate wife is confrim as she is educate and can think farer,but not all cases.4)Find a wife who is willing to take hardship with u,For example(When u r sack by u boss and got no $ at that time,she is willing to stick by u and take hardship with u ).U must find this type of women,pretty or not,it not really an issue as long as u have no problem facing her.
I hope my sharing will help brother.Please dun frame me.I take time n effort to share my experience with all of you.Please note:The sharing dun apply to all thai gal,there r good thai gal around too,and marriage going strong now too.
Thank.
homeaffair
26-09-2005, 09:14 PM
Hi Bro Suzuki,
Agreed to most of your pts.Thai girls tend to prefer western men becoz they loaded with cash which i believe many sg men can't compete with.
Personally,I got a Thai gf. I declare that I am not rich and cannot provide luxurious life that most Thai girl would hope for and she don't mind at all.
She also understands the need for her to work as she know it is difficult to survive if only men are working.Actually brought her to back to my home (HDB flat) and dun mind at all. I believe educated Thai girls don't mind to work after marriage esp those living in the city areas...
Jus my 1 baht tots.
Homeaffair
Sinoview
27-09-2005, 08:12 AM
NBzzz I didn't know that I'm deceiving myself. I thought I have a happy marriage leh. KNN, that means all my friends and fellow bros here who have met my family are all lying to me. They all tell me I have a good wife and family. CBzzz! What kind of friends they are?
:
Aiya...you lucky fellow, yrs is a very happy marriage. The reasons it happen is not "pure luck" or norms. There are many reasons for yr success. I think you know yrself. One very obvious one is that you are realistic and know how to spot a lifetime companion. You have choosen a compatable and "mature" lady who are ready to share her her with you. You have yr success because you are realistic, practicallt and know yr strengths.....
If were 40yrs then and chose a 20 yrs gal just out from a village and result will probably be totally different.
You are right, what Suzuki has mentioned is not unique to Thail...It's definitely not. Viet, Indo, Cambodian, PRC etc.. fm developing countries are all the same ...those who chooses to marry a foreigner (there r few exception) esp. if the age gap is wide are wanting to have a better life. A life better than back home and a life that they hope to spread and share with their families members....
Why would a sweet 20 yrs old gal would want to marry a 40 yrs foreign "old" man whom she hardly know ??? Has all the man in her village "died" ?? Or she married him out of the lack of "fathering" love ??? No money and a better life is the key. So the primary objective has to be fufilled before any factors can come into play.
I do agreed that after sometime "love" can bloom from the young gal butfor that to happen her prime objective have to be met. The "old" man has to be financially sound and able to provide her material needs....
To put it blantly...such marriage is like a business transaction. With financial been the key factor.
The next question is the amount of " financial needs" that will satisfy the gal and affordable by the man.... This is a very complicated issue...
But if the man is 40 yrs and the woman is 35 yrs or even 32 yrs... the "money" factor will be reduced.....
I wonder if i'm right to say that the "financial factor" is proportional with the age differences.... The $$$ involved becomes more important as the age gap get wider ????
Just my persoanl opinion....
Aiya...you lucky fellow, yrs is a very happy marriage. The reasons it happen is not "pure luck" or norms. There are many reasons for yr success. I think you know yrself. One very obvious one is that you are realistic and know how to spot a lifetime companion. You have choosen a compatable and "mature" lady who are ready to share her her with you. You have yr success because you are realistic, practicallt and know yr strengths.....
If were 40yrs then and chose a 20 yrs gal just out from a village and result will probably be totally different.
You are right, what Suzuki has mentioned is not unique to Thail...It's definitely not. Viet, Indo, Cambodian, PRC etc.. fm developing countries are all the same ...those who chooses to marry a foreigner (there r few exception) esp. if the age gap is wide are wanting to have a better life. A life better than back home and a life that they hope to spread and share with their families members....
Why would a sweet 20 yrs old gal would want to marry a 40 yrs foreign "old" man whom she hardly know ??? Has all the man in her village "died" ?? Or she married him out of the lack of "fathering" love ??? No money and a better life is the key. So the primary objective has to be fufilled before any factors can come into play.
I do agreed that after sometime "love" can bloom from the young gal butfor that to happen her prime objective have to be met. The "old" man has to be financially sound and able to provide her material needs....
To put it blantly...such marriage is like a business transaction. With financial been the key factor.
The next question is the amount of " financial needs" that will satisfy the gal and affordable by the man.... This is a very complicated issue...
But if the man is 40 yrs and the woman is 35 yrs or even 32 yrs... the "money" factor will be reduced.....
I wonder if i'm right to say that the "financial factor" is proportional with the age differences.... The $$$ involved becomes more important as the age gap get wider ????
Just my persoanl opinion....Do not just kook at the numerical age difference and form conclusions from the SG perspective. Their views may be very different from ours. Emotional and Mental gap (which determines compatibility) are probably far more important. You also have to take into consideration how the thai men generally behaves, which in turn affect the mentality of the thai ladies. For all u know, a 20-something man may even be considered "wai-run" by the TG who is serious about having a good man who loves her, a happy family, and she will judge the guy based his behaviour.
Generally financial stability increases when age increases, but there are exceptions too. And it is not the only reason why a TG chooses to be with a particular man, though generally, it does play a part. At least he should be able to support her - and not all TGs demand an affluent lifestyle. One of the things I realised good TGs treasure a lot, if not most is faithfulness from the man (hope this dun open up a can of worms). Almost every TG I met and had a closer friendship with, puts this as their No 1 criteria.
Here I am speaking about TGs in general, and not a particular group. And yes, choosing the right gal (or at least one with high odds of being one) from the start is of utmost importance.
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