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Re: Events In CP
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Re: Events In CP
thanks to metalblow for the pdf. sharing an excerpt everyone wont find unfamiliar!
Commodifying Intimacy and Romance Huang was married to an urban man but still slipped out to do hostessing. She said that she was despised because of her rural background, and everyone in his family treated her as a domestic maid. As a result, she secretly worked as a hostess to earn her own income, and hence her independence, worth, and self-esteem. Hostess Hua said to me, “I would rather be a mistress [qingren] than a wife [airen].” I asked her why. She said, “Because I can get much more by being a mistress [zuo qingren dedao de gengduo].” She commented: What good does love do? What’s the use of it [ai you sha yong ya]? Can you eat it or drink it [ai nengchi haishi neng he ya] ? If a man does not give me money and only says he loves me, I don’t want this kind of love. What’s the use of such a man? If I want sex, I am not looking for you. So many men are waiting in line. I am still young and have my capital [ziben]. How can I give it to you without any remuneration? I will not be able to say this when I grow old, but at least at this moment I can choose and select. If you don’t give me money, only talk love and try to take advantage of me, I will never let you get me. I will tempt you—I will kiss you and hug you to the extent that you cannot stand it, but I will not let you get me. I will make you want to touch me, but I will not allow you to touch me; even if you succeed in touching me, you cannot get me. Until you pay out of your pocket. Commodifying romance and intimacy is the pervading discourse in the hostesses’ coterie. Hostesses feign intimacy and romance with clients and men in general to obtain financial security. By feigning this closeness, hostesses are commodifying not only the physical aspect of intimacy such as sexual contact but also the emotional aspects of intimacy, including devotion, care, considerateness, trust, intimate exchanges, emotional en - gagement, and love. Hostess Lin talked about her former hostess friend Fang who exited hostessing and enjoyed the life of being a “second wife.” Fang worked for an insurance company during the daytime. According to Lin, insurance companies did not demand any educational or professional background, nor did they pay any monthly income. Employees had to earn their own income by selling insurance policies. Lin said, “Fang joined the company in order to get closer to the powerful men there. Every day she dressed up very womanly [hen nu ren] and appeared very gentle and pure in front of the boss”; with these words, Lin was mimicking Fang’s demeanor, casting her eyes down and looking very subservient. She continued, “She had the techniques to convey her devotion and romantic feelings to the boss. She finally succeeded in hooking up with him and became his second wife.” Needless to say, with her changed status, she obtained financial mobility. In order to increase the appearance of intimacy and romance, hostesses called their client or nonclient boyfriends “husbands” (laogong). This was tinged with a coquettish, delicate, and charming tone. They commented that such an intimate and romantic address intoxicated men so much that they immediately “forgot who they were and were easily conquered.” Most important, this appellation changed the nature of the relationship and reshaped it from an economic transaction into an intimate husband-wife exchange. The reconfigured intimacy instigated men’s feelings of responsibility, the same kind of responsibility that they carried for their own wives, such as taking care of them in financial and living terms and protecting them in dangerous and risky circumstances. Thus the intimate address of “husband” shrinks the distance and draws the two parties together. Hostesses also conveyed their devotion to their lovers by obeying the men’s demands. As illustrated above, once they set up a semipermanent or permanent relationship with a client lover, they promised to be faithful and not go out with others. Oftentimes, clients sent their friends to test the hostesses, in which case the hostesses needed to prove their loyalty and fidelity through refusal of other men’s sexual advances. Hostesses also catered to their client lovers’ tastes in their appearance. Hostess Teng’s lover did not like her doing her hair up, because, in his terms, “you looked too loose [tai sao] with your hair up.” So every time they had a date, she would let her hair down to please him. Most important, she wanted to convey the message to him that she cared about his opinions. Hostesses also accompanied their lovers on business trips and to business banquets. When their lovers were absent, they would call to remind them that they loved them and were missing them. However, the frequency and content of the calling posed another intractable issue. As the hostesses told me, they should call but never too much. Ling said, “You cannot give him the wrong impression—that you are totally dependent on him—because then he would get scared and leave you. When calling, you have to make him feel like you are always busy, you are not just sitting there waiting for him to come, you have many things to do, yet you still miss him and love him.” Ling had been expecting her client lover for a whole week, but when calling him, she said, “I love you and I miss you very much, but if you are busy, you don’t have to come.” In the end, her client lover came by and took her on a four-day tourist trip to many scenic spots. She said she had a wonderful time. Before he left, he gave her another 3,000 yuan. Ling’s carefully rehearsed phone calls not only conveyed her devotion despite her “busy schedule,” but also expressed her understanding of his work. She knew that her techniques worked, when he came to spend four days with her and left her a handsome amount of money. She compared dealing with men to flying a kite: “You cannot hold on to it too tight, but not too loose either.” In karaoke rooms, hostesses sang romantic songs insinuating or, at times, expressing boldly their romantic feelings toward the men. They also exhibited their love through physical contact. In the karaoke rooms, they gently massaged the men’s back and chest, resting their heads on the men’s shoulders, singing songs when gazing at the men, or shedding bitter, sad, or happy tears, depending on the nature of the intricate relationship between the two, kissing the men’s cheeks or lips, sitting on their laps and embracing their heads and shoulders, dancing with their bodies together (tie mian wu), embracing their waist intimately, and so on. Sometimes the aggressive ones would even grasp the men’s penis or pull down their pants to invite more sexual intimacy and physical contact, depending on the men’s propensities. They also indicated their devotion to the men through serving them food and drinks, peeling fruit skins or melon seeds, and feeding them what they liked.
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Re: Events In CP
Yep u clear immigration at the train station instead so those whose passport will be checked better not go by this way as the chop will say entry via 常平 haha..
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next trip: CA/CP trip: erm... i'll nv know.... |
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Changping Train Station
Yah if girlfriend or wife saw this stamp chop hong kan liao!
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Re: Events In CP
K, thanks for the valuable info.
Last edited by pting; 26-01-2014 at 01:33 AM. |
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Re: Chinese New Year
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next trip: CA/CP trip: erm... i'll nv know.... |
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Re: Events In CP
No worries, the first time I took that train I also didn't know.. Nobody told me and I was laughing to myself when I saw the chop "常平” on my passport... So bros who will kena check better steer clear of this way...
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next trip: CA/CP trip: erm... i'll nv know.... |
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Re: Chinese New Year
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I don't think kc will give u less service when u repeat them. Most of the time is us who will be sian becos no 新鲜感.. |
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Re: Events In CP
u mean to dl the pdf?
perhaps can ask the bro who uploaded to megaupload ... it is quite tricky to dl from the website
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Re: Events In CP
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I just tried the link, 'Direct Download' works fine for me. Do you need me to upload to other file host?
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Re: Events In CP
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Re: Events In CP
链接:http://pan.baidu.com/s/1hq5LAQw 密码:p174
Not sure if password is needed, but list here just in case.
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