I am ashamed for unknowingly committing incest

[Botakhead]

Originally Posted by xchampsx

wow abit unbelievable, cant believe that such an unlucky thing will happen.
I initially also cannot believe myself for being the main root cause of this situation. I would not consider it as unlucky, I've loved F always, even before she let me eat her pussy.
anyway, you have my support. all the best and bring up your kids well =) dont worry, life will work itself out

Thank you for your support, I'll work things out, just wish for the best to come.

[Botakhead]

Originally Posted by DreamMaster1985

TS, there is......a way to find out how will your wife react to this revelation of yours. Use a story. Describe your experience to her but instead of you, use a third person. After describing your 'story' , ask her as a wife how would she feel. Her answer might give you a little indication of what her reaction is IF you ever decide to tell her about your secret.
I doubt it'll really help, because in real life, when it happens to yourself, the actual reaction is different from a story. It's quite complicated at times, got to come up with a proper plan to find a most appropriate scenario, then matbe you can get the reaction you're looking for.
Do note that the words 'little indication' as real life situation is different from, how should I put it...... 'make believe' situation.

Convincing someone to believe in a story sometimes can trigger off bigger explosion.
Thank you for you suggestion.

[Botakhead]

Originally Posted by Yardstick

TS, what's done is done. Whatever harm and damage you have caused is already there. Instead of feeling sorry, you should do your best to take care of both families. Afterall, you owe both families a lot.
Been there done it, too late for sorrys....I've to pick up the broken pieces and fix the situation so that everybody will not feel left out.
Take care and stay strong.

Thank you for your encouragement.

[Botakhead]

Originally Posted by 38tiger

TS it is to your interest to your child/grand child is to give the child away for adoption.

but this have to get C and F opinions.....
We've had many discussion these few days.....conclusion is the child be it my daughter or granddaughter, stays with F and C.
Good Luck and take good care of yourself and your families..

Thank you for your well wishes.

[Botakhead]

Originally Posted by bonkning

i think it depends on whether if your wife can accept your second family, u think so?
if not, then i think better dun say anything.
That is a main concern now, I will not rush it, got to plan how to let the situation be known if there is a need to.
a bro suggest telling a story about another person, but her reaction for that story can be very different from how she will react actually, knowing women. kou shi xing fei.
Yes I don't think the reaction is the same for a story and the actual event happening.
u still have a lot of time to think thru and thru. dun have to hurry, only when everyone is ready.

Thank you for your concern.

[Botakhead]

Originally Posted by MikeInTheHole

Botakhead :Incest happened only when you knew that they are related to you. Since you doesn't know about it, then I would suggested you to tone it down and move on. If you create too much of a situation, then it is difficult for you and your present family to continue living in Singapore......

Yes it was true, unknowingly, I don't know, but she knows.....but it had happened, I won't use that as an excuse to shirk my responsibilities. I've toned myself down, now moving on to make amends to work out for both sides of the families. It happened so coincidentally....and Singapore being so small, we're staying next town to each other.....

Thank you for your concern.

[Botakhead]

Originally Posted by cohen

haiz wads has been done has been done no point crying over spilt milk, hope you can carry on with your life

Time to correct the mistakes done, make the best of the situation.

Thank you for your support.

[Botakhead]

Originally Posted by dennischan

I'm sure you know how to deal with your situation. keep on going in life bro!

Thank you for your support.

[Botakhead]

Originally Posted by Istrike4D

My goodness! You guys really think the whole story is real?

I wonder, how would you feel if this happened to you. But anyway, thank you for visiting my thread.

[Botakhead]

Originally Posted by lmaolmao

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?f...type=1&theater

My situation comes about being unknown to me that I was fucking my own biological daughter. She actually knows that I'm her father whom she's having sex with, and also carrying my child.....but in the end, the situation becomes the same, you'll have a daughter/wife and daughter/granddaughter. Only people who can relate to this kind of relationship can really understand me being a husband, father, granddaughter all at the same time.

Thank you for your post.

[sinner1234]

Dear Bro Botakhead,

Keeping my comments till now anyway,

1) Firstly, i will greatly advise you not to tell your current wife. Will you tell her you have "eaten out secretly" previously? What's the point in telling her now? It will cause much heartbreak and cause another set of problems.
I'm sorry, but i feel you need to carry this "secret" to your grave.

2) Since "F" had previously made the decision to walk her path alone with her child, she has to be responsible for it.
What baffles one is that wht did "C" still go ahead with the act even though she knows you are her father?
Wanting fatherly love and lover's love is two different feeling and mindset. Anyway, the uncooked rice has been cooked, so let's tackle on the aftermath.

Emotional Part for "F" and "C"
i) For F, nothing much can be done, only that you can spend some time with her. But if she has her own life, it will be best to let her lead it on her own as she may find happiness through it. Going back to you will lead to very knotty situations in future. Just be there for her when she needs it.

ii) For C, firstly, the mindset may have to be corrected as this is a very tricky unfortunate (i term it as unfortunate as it does have the straits of incest, whether it's knowingly or unknowlingly, a spade is a spade) situation.
I personally feel, her child "G"( since she is a cute girl, ;p) should not know of the happenings. It may change the mentality of "G" forever. The gamble on "G" taking it positively is not worth if in any case she takes it negatively and goes on a self destruction path. Putting a stop to the wrong and bury it is the best option, (in my opinion). "C" is young, it will be good if she can pick herself up and fall in love with a man. She still have a long path to walk. It is not easy but i hope you and "F" can be there for her as "PARENTS". YOU have to make your stance very clear that you are her father. The mindset has to be set correct.


Financial aspect for everyone

I thought you have a business and is well to do, given that you mentioned you have set the financials plan already and the path is taken care of.
Yet,i read that you have a well paid job and were once on the brink of bankruptcy. My guess yoru wife's family is quite well to do. ;p
So, i am not sure of which side or how "high" you are at the "see saw".

Anyway, i feel you still have your first family of 4 kids to take care (They should be your primary concern), so do really plan your finances well. You really need to have a big hat to handle all this finances manzzz.


For "F" and "C", you may want to consider drafting a will and apportion some money for them in case of any happenings. You are trying and may want to atone for your sins but letting them lead their own lives may be the best option for everyone. They have taken the path thus it will be best not to get entagled and become a crossroad for everyone.

Just be there for them when they need your help. BUT it will be best to avoid physical contact so as to keep the emotions in check ;p.


The above is just my own personal opninion.
I am more of a problem solving person so it's not use scolding you or blaming anyone. Everyone plays a part in contributing to this.. errr.... "family tree".
Everyone makes mistakes. I am not called sinner for nothing ;p.

Move on and be strong. Take care.

Good day to ya.

[eeemen]

Bro TS I feel for you. All the best to u n your new found family . Cheers. . . . . . . . .

[Botakhead]

Last week was a little confused about having to meet both F and C again.

They visited their shop house to settle the rent and some other money matters, wanted me to help.

I'm happy that all three of them are doing fine (health wise and money wise). F as a 50+ woman, still kept herself attractive and good looking enough to turn heads. She wanted to remain "single", but of course after me, she had a few bf and also some FB. No need to worry about her sex life, but I got no more chance to get intimate with her . C on the contrary, looks a little old and haggard for a 29 year old. She had to fulltime looking after the little girl, our precious. She too has no intention to marry for the time being, no bf, or male friends for now. She promised me that the next time we meet, she'll be attractive like her mother too .

After taking care of their business and planned to meet with my immediate family, I've arranged for a big gathering at some restaurant. But I've got to cook up a story, nice enough not to stir up any problem for all of us

When the gathering was arranged, told my immediate family, that a old friend was going to pay us a social visit from the neighbouring country, going to host a gathering. Meeting between my wife and children with the other 'family' went very smoothly, they all chatted easily with each other, the young ones were very friendly with my 'precious'. Both F and C got on well being very close knit with each other, just like a happy big family. Lucky for me, all worked well and we ended the gathering with hugs and kisses. I went home with my immediate family, F and C with my 'precious', they took a cab back to the hotel.

I took leave for a couple of days to be with them (no hanky panky), send my 'preciuos' to have a checkup. Everything was fine. They did not want to stay too long in Sing, send them to the bus station, see them board the bus.

Wishing them all the best, till we meet again. I'm really glad nothing bad happened after all this.

[Bebeque]

First time to come across your thread. Really feel sorry for you and what you have to go through. A lot of emotional struggles, sleepless nights and a heavy load in the heart that you have to undergo.

Whatever have been done, have been done, and nothing can be undone.

Important thing is that you are able to pick up your life and do whatever can be done to atone for what were done in the past. Do your best to handle the situation the best you think you can, for only you can best handle the situation yourself. What bros give you can only be comments, opinions and references to assist you in your decisions.

So far you seem to be doing fine. Do keep being strong and remain strong for your families and also yourself.

Good luck to you and may you be successful in continuing to do many more right actions to atone for the wrongs of the past. May such right actions eventually lessen the burdens of your past and provide you the peace and happiness you hope for.

Good luck to you again. Best regards.

[Botakhead]

Originally Posted by Bebeque

First time to come across your thread. Really feel sorry for you and what you have to go through. A lot of emotional struggles, sleepless nights and a heavy load in the heart that you have to undergo.

Whatever have been done, have been done, and nothing can be undone.

Important thing is that you are able to pick up your life and do whatever can be done to atone for what were done in the past. Do your best to handle the situation the best you think you can, for only you can best handle the situation yourself. What bros give you can only be comments, opinions and references to assist you in your decisions.

So far you seem to be doing fine. Do keep being strong and remain strong for your families and also yourself.

Good luck to you and may you be successful in continuing to do many more right actions to atone for the wrongs of the past. May such right actions eventually lessen the burdens of your past and provide you the peace and happiness you hope for.

Good luck to you again. Best regards.

Thank you for your comforting words. I've been trying hard to make my marriage work out well, my immediate family to be close and dear. As for the other family, they wished for me not to interfere, unless they faced very tough problems......how nice and dear to me.

So far life is normal and working out smoothly, hope to keep it that way.