Chitchat Chink Liberation Army Rejects Chink Recruits For Masturbating Too Much!

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While Xi Jinping may want to build a stronger, more advanced military force to "safeguard national sovereignty, security and development interests," there are some concerns that China's incoming crops of recruit won't be up to the task -- being too busy playing on their phone, eating and masturbating to solider properly

According to an article posted on the WeChat account of the People's Liberation Army Daily, 56.9% of armed services candidates at one unnamed town were rejected for failing to meet physical fitness standards.
One-fifth of these candidates were rejected for being too fat, others because excessive smartphone use had damaged their eyesight or because they had consumed too much snack foods or soda pop, resulting in poor liver and gallbladder function.

Meanwhile, 8% were rejected because of "abnormal enlargement of small testicular veins," caused by too much masturbation.



The report follows numerous studies done in recent years which have found that the physical fitness level of Chinese youths is deteriorating at a worrying rate. Earlier this year, one study found that China was home to more obese children than any other country on earth.

However, after reports of excessively pudgy and overly frustrated Chinese teens hit international media, China's military was quick to dismiss speculation about the poor quality of its new recruits, arguing that a higher number of rejected applicants does not mean a decrease in troop quality.

"China's recruitment process has strict rules and procedures," the Defense Ministry office said. "The quality of our recruits is guaranteed, and the headwaters of our military will flow long and strong."


Back in 2014, the PLA did relax recruitment standards a bit, allowing for slightly shorter and slightly rounder men and women to apply, not to mention those with "less than ideal eyesight" and those with tattoos.

This all comes after a report in the PLA Daily earlier this month which warned of the havoc that the extremely popular mobile game "Honor of Kings" was wreaking on its ranks, worrying that the highly-addictive smartphone smash hit could slow down soldiers in real-life combat scenarios

"There is certainly a security risk that can't be overlooked," the People's Liberation Army Daily newspaper warned gravely. "The game requires constant attention but a soldier's job is full of uncertainty. Once a soldier is cut off from the game for an urgent mission, he could be absent-minded during the operation if his mind remains on the game."

Hey, at least when they're playing that game, they aren't busy enlarging their small testicular veins.

http://shanghaiist.com/2017/08/24/too-fat-for-pla.php


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