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Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheIdesOfMarch
My personal view though? Mai tu liao, divorce is better than being stuck in a sexless loveless marriage.
Depends on their current state of life. If in their 40s, better to tolerate than to leave her. If he chooses divorce, he may need to pay alimony, child maintenance, have restricted access to his kids. Once the kids are stuck in between, the closeness will not be like before.
Right now she is sharing in the time, effort and financial burden of parenthood. In a way, she is helping him have more time, energy and money to go out with his FWB. The only condition is no intimacy which he has successfully outsourced.
Once he reaches the age where his sex drive dips, he may end up being as close to his wife as before. You never know how estranged couples bond over future grandchildren.
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Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xgenre
Depends on their current state of life. If in their 40s, better to tolerate than to leave her. If he chooses divorce, he may need to pay alimony, child maintenance, have restricted access to his kids. Once the kids are stuck in between, the closeness will not be like before.
Right now she is sharing in the time, effort and financial burden of parenthood. In a way, she is helping him have more time, energy and money to go out with his FWB. The only condition is no intimacy which he has successfully outsourced.
Once he reaches the age where his sex drive dips, he may end up being as close to his wife as before. You never know how estranged couples bond over future grandchildren.
Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xgenre
Depends on their current state of life. If in their 40s, better to tolerate than to leave her. If he chooses divorce, he may need to pay alimony, child maintenance, have restricted access to his kids. Once the kids are stuck in between, the closeness will not be like before.
Right now she is sharing in the time, effort and financial burden of parenthood. In a way, she is helping him have more time, energy and money to go out with his FWB. The only condition is no intimacy which he has successfully outsourced.
Once he reaches the age where his sex drive dips, he may end up being as close to his wife as before. You never know how estranged couples bond over future grandchildren.
true.... good share
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The Best Way to overcome heart break is in the arms of another. You focus on making money, you get girls, you focus on your body, you get sex, you focus on the girl, you get NOTHING but heartache and disappointment
Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shadow_warrior
true.... good share
Can second this approach, it's the quiet quit method. Less messy than full divorce but need to be able to maintain a good mental state or can be very tormenting. Some people can't stand not saying anything about the issue and being wronged. With good mental state, you learn to let it all go and just learn to care for yourself while choosing the least painful option. This approach does open reconnection in the future, assuming you don't get caught bonking someone else and you also don't dig your partner's private life. Live and let live so they say. Not easy, but with the right help (therapist) can be done.
Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xgenre
Depends on their current state of life. If in their 40s, better to tolerate than to leave her. If he chooses divorce, he may need to pay alimony, child maintenance, have restricted access to his kids. Once the kids are stuck in between, the closeness will not be like before.
Right now she is sharing in the time, effort and financial burden of parenthood. In a way, she is helping him have more time, energy and money to go out with his FWB. The only condition is no intimacy which he has successfully outsourced.
Once he reaches the age where his sex drive dips, he may end up being as close to his wife as before. You never know how estranged couples bond over future grandchildren.
but in reality, at a certain age, when it's time to stop playing, you will definitely return to a close relationship with your wife and spend the rest of your life together. there is a time to play and stop
Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheIdesOfMarch
Full disclaimer: I am not a lawyer.
If I were you I'd be secretly recording down a couple of times you have this convo with your wife and she tells you to go and use your hands. If you can trigger an actual argument with her where she candidly tells you in a fit of anger or whatever that she no longer has any interest in making your marriage with her a sexually fulfilling or even active one, even better for you.
Then keep the recordings and go have your FWB extramarital sex life. They will be useful in future to protect yourself with in best case scenario of you initiating divorce citing irretrievable breakdown of marriage due to breakdown in intimacy, or in worst case scenario if she finds out about you fucking someone outside and wants a divorce with you, those recordings can come in handy when played to the judge in court to demonstrate that the marriage breakdown isn't 100% down to you committing adultery outside.
My personal view though? Mai tu liao, divorce is better than being stuck in a sexless loveless marriage.
Thank senior bro for this advice, will keep in mind in the future if I end up in sexless marriage.
Any senior bros can share whether marry sinkie bu will be sexless marriage? Thanks
Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....
Quote:
Originally Posted by suzy4ever
but in reality, at a certain age, when it's time to stop playing, you will definitely return to a close relationship with your wife and spend the rest of your life together. there is a time to play and stop
you seem to be very pro wife pro marriage
this is on the presumption that the man is playing because he is lustful
there are those whose marriage is falling apart for decades and so he tries to move on. Not playing, but trying to move forward.
__________________
The Best Way to overcome heart break is in the arms of another. You focus on making money, you get girls, you focus on your body, you get sex, you focus on the girl, you get NOTHING but heartache and disappointment
Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....
Quote:
Originally Posted by ghostcow
Thank senior bro for this advice, will keep in mind in the future if I end up in sexless marriage.
Any senior bros can share whether marry sinkie bu will be sexless marriage? Thanks
I think you marry any bu also can end up in sexless marriage. Well sometimes you have to ask yourself if what you are looking for in a marriage. Lets say you marry a girl who gives you lots and plenty of sex anytime you want it but treat your family and kids like sh*t and put them in second priority, would you want to live through that?
I encourage sinkies to marry sinkie bu, because we can complain all we want about their sinkie girl traits but there are plenty of long term benefits. Ultimately you have to understand why girls from overseas all dying to marry here. It is mainly for the one thing. Material comfort. So of course you can expect them to treat you like a king (before marriage) and get kc by them deep deep. To be honest, those I have seen, more than 50% have issues with overseas marriages. Many of them end up tanking the girl’s family problems. This is sometime less expected when you marry a sinkie just for one example.
Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....
Quote:
Originally Posted by dman19
I think you marry any bu also can end up in sexless marriage. Well sometimes you have to ask yourself if what you are looking for in a marriage. Lets say you marry a girl who gives you lots and plenty of sex anytime you want it but treat your family and kids like sh*t and put them in second priority, would you want to live through that?
I encourage sinkies to marry sinkie bu, because we can complain all we want about their sinkie girl traits but there are plenty of long term benefits. Ultimately you have to understand why girls from overseas all dying to marry here. It is mainly for the one thing. Material comfort. So of course you can expect them to treat you like a king (before marriage) and get kc by them deep deep. To be honest, those I have seen, more than 50% have issues with overseas marriages. Many of them end up tanking the girl’s family problems. This is sometime less expected when you marry a sinkie just for one example.
Thx bro for the advice and it is a fresh perspective on marry sinkie bu being a better choice because I mostly saw sinkie bu being seen as gold cb compared to foreign bu with less expectations.
Re: Those with Fuck Buddies, Little 3s 小三, Friends with benefits fall in....
Quote:
Originally Posted by dman19
I think you marry any bu also can end up in sexless marriage. Well sometimes you have to ask yourself if what you are looking for in a marriage. Lets say you marry a girl who gives you lots and plenty of sex anytime you want it but treat your family and kids like sh*t and put them in second priority, would you want to live through that?
I encourage sinkies to marry sinkie bu, because we can complain all we want about their sinkie girl traits but there are plenty of long term benefits. Ultimately you have to understand why girls from overseas all dying to marry here. It is mainly for the one thing. Material comfort. So of course you can expect them to treat you like a king (before marriage) and get kc by them deep deep. To be honest, those I have seen, more than 50% have issues with overseas marriages. Many of them end up tanking the girl’s family problems. This is sometime less expected when you marry a sinkie just for one example.
you right bro. After doing it, there will still be problems. and there are many expectations from them and our own expectations that do not match. because from the start we ourselves were not clear about what we wanted
I encourage sinkies to marry sinkie bu, because we can complain all we want about their sinkie girl traits but there are plenty of long term benefits. Ultimately you have to understand why girls from overseas all dying to marry here. It is mainly for the one thing. Material comfort. So of course you can expect them to treat you like a king (before marriage) and get kc by them deep deep. To be honest, those I have seen, more than 50% have issues with overseas marriages. Many of them end up tanking the girl’s family problems. This is sometime less expected when you marry a sinkie just for one example.
That is so true. Personally, I feel not all sinker bu have high expectation for their spouse. But once you got married to sinker bu. Many willing to go through thick and thin with you. Whereas foreign ladies, they might have a wrong perception that sinker guys are richer and must be able to support their family needs.
Even for rich foreign spouse, I saw she commanding her sinker husband to do things because she have higher earning. Maybe it just my social circle, I don’t really feel sinker bu are that bad.