my affair with my sis in law

[amateur.bonker]

Originally Posted by seowlang

Bro, no way are u a sicko. but i disagree with yr views that i'll be hurt when i imagine her husband making out with her.

using a phrase i have learnt from bros here, i had someone that doesnt belong to me in the first place. therefore, why on earth am i unhappy if she can find happiness with another man? i have mentioned that one of the reasons why im sure protective over J is bcos she is a very vulnerable girl that may be too fragile for this cruel world. i just dont want to see her being hurt.

well said bro..

[randyboy73]

[QUOTE=patrickzapu;6319517]

Originally Posted by randyboy73

Life always has a habit of throwing curve balls. We search for our ideals and just when we give up and settle for the next best thing, the one that you have been waiting for arrives.

Bro, what happen??? Me also long marriage for 17 yrs liao, sometimes, the temptation to live again is so much..........but also need to consider the kids and others.....what made u do so after 11 yrs???

I guess I always knew that I was forcing a square peg into a round hole (no pun intended). Sometimes, we know what we ought to do, but refrain from doing so due to the silliest of reasons. For me? Face saving for my folks... consideration of what it is like for a woman to be a divorcee at the age of 39... being afraid of the unknown.. or being afraid of regretting... stupid and silly, right?

Am pretty lucky I dont have any kids, so that makes it marginally less painful

[tigerwoody74]

Respect bro. We can only look back and cherished the happy moments and wished that the other party will also moved on and have a happy ending too.

Cheers.

[Hundred Plus]

Originally Posted by seowlang

bro, you hit all the right spots.. except one point.

"the process is just so sweet to want it to end."
process was bitter sweet and also, i was living day by day, not knowing how to end too.. its totally different from what u said.

still, u summed it up very well. cheers

Bro, my heart felt for you. I only have 15 Chinese words to summarize this relationship between you and your SIL.

两个对的人，却在错的时候，爱了一回。

[oLdMaN68]

Originally Posted by MarsIswar

Dude there nothing such as 早知如此 , if you are able to, y not tell us here the 1st price toto number of tonight , have you heard of the quote : 失败乃成功之母 and taken from the person who gave you light bulb :
If someone feel that they have never commit a mistake in life, it only mean they have never try a new thing in their life (Einstein) or y not this
In a day ,when you don't come across any problem, you can be sure that you are traveling on the wrong path of life.(swami vivekananda)
P.s we are here to care and share not rub salt into one wound, unless you can tell me that you have never commit a mistake in your life & if that is so than look on the on top above 2 point and you will know where you are heading to.. Peace and prost

Dude, sorry I am not free this few days, when I have more time, I will come back to debate and clear your points.
In the mean time, will like to clear this - I am not rubbing salt into bro Seowlang's wound, just pointing out the facts. And I did not condemned him too.
Cheers!

[loneyheart]

When an affair started t lady sure said dum worry I know u r married ..tat will b an affair w no string attached
What She only want is just when u r free just give her a call n meet
As time go she will ask for more time w u even try to meet on weekend ...family day
Slowly tears will flow ... she will say at 1st just an attraction now became LOVE ...she cant leave u ... then u were trap
After 1 fine day just like u ...u had an oversea asignment had to force to part for days or wks or months
When u return she finally had t courage to break off w u

Times had force her to bare t unbareable .... tats wo u
Once she felt t most pain she awaken .... she cant do it anymore if not no ending
U should be thankful tat u had an oversea assignment if not u r waiting for a bomb to explore
Woman r very sensitive ... I mean yr wife ... she will notice yr changes after some time

I bellieve u n J r real n true w each other
Time had make u chance to b w J
Time had let u enjoy t most precious moment w J ...Bro u r already t luckiest man
Time had let u had an excuse n let J to make up her mind what she want ... to break w u
Respect her ...Dum make her suffer anymore ... u hv a family but she is frighting alone
If u really love her ... let her go ... u cant give her anything ... just pain of wanting u ... n keep waiting for u

Lastly to u ...TIME WILL HEAL

I was once in yr shoe but was w my former work partner
tat was10 yrs ago ... but at time till now I still recall t sweetest moment w her
Tat feeling of wanting her was gone ... but t sweet moment still stay forever in my heart ...
Think abt it again ... it was t most foolish thing tat I had done... but t most sweetest n precious part of my life ... w no regret
I will still give it a hearty smile when ever I think of it

[GrieGzEters]

Hi TS, so I presume your story on this post have been concluded? I guess it must have been pretty depressing for you since things have end between u n J in addition to your wife betrayal ( base on what you have mention earlier).

I hope you and your wife are still together and working on to save the marriage. Well, as for you and J, from what I read and feel, J simply fill in the lover void left empty by your wife. Perhaps, thats why you love her so much, brining you back to the days when you and your wife are still dating. KNowing that there would not be a good ending, J make a wise decision to end the r/s, knowing that you would never be the one to initiate ending it.

All the best to you TS, forbidden fruits tastes the sweetest but it can also have lots of side effects.

[seowlang]

Originally Posted by Hundred Plus

两个对的人，却在错的时候，爱了一回。[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B]

this is so true. one line to sum up the whole thingy.

cheers bro

[horsehliao]

bro SL,

that letter from your SIL has very intense feelings and heart touching indeed. she truly loves you.

i wonder if you will be truly happy if you had married your SIL instead of your wife.

alas, what an imperfect world. haiz!!!

[Teekopek]

i'm here for discussions about sex.......why make me cry

[seowlang]

Originally Posted by loneyheart

Respect her ...Dum make her suffer anymore ... u hv a family but she is frighting alone
If u really love her ... let her go ... u cant give her anything ... just pain of wanting u ... n keep waiting for u
[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B]

bro, i do respect her alot.

to answer you, if i may summarise my detailed explanation in post #354.

had J not been such a fragile and vulnerable girl, i would have broke off with her way earlier... before i developed feelings for her. after feelings were involved, it was a case of living day by day, not knowing when and how to pull the plug.

[seowlang]

[QUOTE=GrieGzEters;6324921]Hi TS, so I presume your story on this post have been concluded? QUOTE]

the relationship ended there. but there is just a small part to add when i finally manage to communicate with her after that letter. i have been really busy with work. will do so asap. tks for yr well wishes..

[neinei]

[QUOTE=seowlang;6325097]

Originally Posted by GrieGzEters

Hi TS, so I presume your story on this post have been concluded? QUOTE]

the relationship ended there. but there is just a small part to add when i finally manage to communicate with her after that letter. i have been really busy with work. will do so asap. tks for yr well wishes..

been sliently reading every single post
两个对的人，却在错的时候，爱了一回, how true

life goes on
gd luck ...

[Derra69]

Bro,
I agree w lonely heart , post 381 comments.
Been there, done that.

It was the period of separation that brought her much pain to realize that she cannot continue with it anymore , no matter how much she loves u. Long pain might as well go for short term one time pain.

And I think she heals better than u because she was in control by calling for the break up. U didn't see it coming and wasn't prepared. So u struggled through for closure till u relive it through your story telling. It helps in your closure n wiser for it now.

Both of u will be ok hence forth. But be careful of falling back in again when opportunity for lust / passion presents itself to the 2 of u in future, if it happen.

All sudden or illicit relationships starts with lust / passion. Feeling are thrown in along the way when both feel each is the right match for each other. That helps to develop what is commonly called -- LOVE, care n concern, protective feelings n jealousy ( subsequently when one feels losing control of the relationship.)

If u don't want to fall back into this SIL relationship, be careful if u still feel passionate / lust for her especially. Avoid being alone with her at all cost.

Good luck, n pardon my 2 cents worth comment.

[seowlang]

I didnt cry after reading the letter, i wept.

tears flowed freely.. i was an emotional trainwreck. Afraid my sleeping wife could hear me, I left the house. I went to my car and wanted to go somewhere but didnt know where to go. In the end, i just drove to the top level of the multi storey carpark. I felt some much like texting J but decided against it to respect her decision. I am damn sure she was crying at home too..

My mind was working like a DVD player... everything that happened between J and I started flashing in my mind.. except that the timing of the events were not in sequence.. bits and pieces were all jumbled up..

Cowardly suicide thought flashed across my mind for just a brief moment that night. But knowing how incapable J is of handling her emotions, what if she commits suicide as well? Or even worse, what if my normally rational and pragmatic wife, at the spur of the moment, commits suicide and J follow too out of guilt after that bcos she lost her BIL and sister? I couldnt do it.. i couldnt risk any of those scenarios.. that night was extremely chilling and being alone in such a state just made me even more alone.. it was perhaps the lowest point of my life i guess..

i dont know what time i went home that night except that its very late already. That Sunday was equally awful. i just wanted to get out of the house to avoid letting my wife see me in such a state. i was thinking about J all the time, how she is coping with the situ.

When i left the house, I wanted to call ah Keong but decided this simpleton wouldnt know what im talking about even if i were to pour my heart out and told him everything. I was even more tempted to call a very close female friend of mine, one whom i have known for a long time. Just for the record, she is a very attractive looking lady and i have fantasized about her too.. but never ever once have i touched her in a sexual manner, even when we were drunk together many times before we were married. some friendships are too dear for me to risk giving my small head even a chance to think. But i hesitated.. how would she think of me? even thought we share very intimate secrets (till today) but humping my sister in law is so wrong and inhumane. would she even see me in the same light again? i was afraid to be judged by one of my best friend. in the end, i decided not to call anyone..

i knew i wouldnt be able to perform at work and took urgent leave for the next 2 days. my wife knows im not a person that will take leave out of a sudden without a reason so i didnt tell her i was on leave and chose to pretend and dress up for work for those 2 days. I drove to my workplace in town and just sat in a coffeehouse, completely dazed. my mind must have overworked for the last 48 hours. i was staring blankly at passerbys, occasionally tearing and of cos quickly wiping it off before anyone saw it. when i returned to work after that, i was still not in the right frame of mind. by Friday morning i couldnt take the wait anymore.. i had to meet J and asked for her to give me a chance to talk it out. I sms her to arrange for a meetup and the reply was a no. after several exchanges, she finally agreed to msn me. (i am sure J blocked me from msn as that day was the first time i saw her online after the email.)

I: can we only talk on msn?
J: i know i will cry if i see u face to face.
I: r u ok?
J: im fine dont worry.

she went on again thanking me about what i have done for her and all.. but i just wanted to be doubly sure those reasons she gave on the emails were the only reasons. i asked if she has a boyfriend but she replied no.

I: i respect yr decision. i just want to tell u that the past months had been one of the best times of my life. and i want u to know that it was spent with u. thanks for everything. i really only have one request.
J: what is that?
I: can u pls treat me like before? of cos i know it takes time.. and that i will give u. i just want to be like what we were in the past. i want to enjoy going back to your place on fridays and we spend time together.
J: i'll try.

with that, the chat ended. we said our goodbyes like lovers do for the last time. somehow the last line of her message to me just appeared in my mind again and again immediately after that.

quote
We may not have a chance to be together this live but if people do get reincarnated, I want to marry you and be with you in all our future lives… for better or for worse… I love you.
unquote

I couldnt help having tears welling up in my eyes again.

Have u guys/girls even been so busy in a relationship with activities and things to do together, only to find yourself very free and not knowing what to do when the relationship is off? i was in that situation. not wanting to call anyone and not knowing what to do, pubs near my office became my home after work for at least 4-5 months. i sat alone and drink.. almost singing our favorite song everyday, ai heng jian dan.

I remember when i was in my teens and early twenties, i do see uncles (i use to label those in their 30s or 40s as uncles) sitting alone with a bottle and singing occasionally. i would often comment to my friends: "wah, see that uncle.. very cham.. no friend and everytime come here alone. but knn, he is rich.. everyday can see him open a bottle."

Now, i was that uncle. its funny how life can be so ironic... seriously... So, in case there are some young readers here reading this...

Yes, uncles are often alone bcos they have big problems which they sometimes cannot share with anyone. its not that they do not have friends. and oh yes, financially they are much more stable after working so many years so opening bottles is not such a burden to the pocket. they dont need to wait till birthdays to open a bottle. i have been there, done that, guys and girls. pls dont laugh or make fun of uncles. they can be quite pitiful u know???

So, here ends the story of me.. the happiest and the saddest part of my life.. it took a month to tell all these.. i would sincerely like to thank all readers. i accept all comments and criticisms and if i look back at this thread i was never once sore about negative comments. well except for a certain Realestateguy. i think u guys know him better than i do since im new in this forum.

last but not least, i really appreciate those who offered to want to meet me. prolly the skeleton in my closet is so big that i dont have the balls to meet ppl here. pardon me.. i would really love to meet u. from the bottom of my heart. So, one day, maybe just one day, i can muster enough courage to call u out for coffee or maybe something stronger? i already had a bro who told me that his offer to meet me will stand till im ready. I am very touched bro. u know who u r. cheers and all the best to u.

signing out for now,
Seowlang