Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[bet365]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Another joke to share

Great jokes and laugh till I fell down.

[Hurricane88]

Another good laugh...

Magic Penis

A businessman was preparing to go on a long business trip abroad, so he thought he'd buy his wife something to keep her occupied.

He went to a sex shop and explained his situation. The man there said, ' Well, I don't know that I have anything that will keep her occupied for so many weeks, except, perhaps... The Magic Penis!'

The husband said, 'The what'?

The salesman repeated, 'The Magic Penis,' and pulled out what seemed to be a very ordinary dildo.

The husband laughed, and said, 'It looks like a dildo!'

The man then pointed to the door and said, 'Magic Penis, door!'

The penis rose out of its box, darted over to the shop door and started pounding away at the keyhole.

The whole door shook wildly with vibrations, so much so, that a crack began to form down the center.

Then the salesman said, 'Magic Penis, return to box!' and the penis stopped and returned to the box.

The husband bought it and took it home to his wife.

After the husband had been gone a few days, the wife remembered the Magic Penis. She undressed, opened the box and said 'Magic Penis, my vagina.'

The penis shot to her crotch. It was absolutely incredible. After three mind shattering orgasms, she became very exhausted and decided she'd had enough. She tried to pull it out, but it was firmly stuck.

Her husband had neglected to tell her how to turn it off so she put her clothes on, got in her car and started for the closest hospital.

On the way, another incredibly intense orgasm made her swerve all over the road.

A police traffic car was close by and the officer immediately pulled her over.

He asked for her license, and then asked how much she'd had to drink.

Gasping and twitching, the woman said, 'I haven't had anything to drink officer. You see, I've got this Magic Penis thing stuck in my crotch and it won't stop screwing me rigid.'

The officer glared at her for a second, shook his head and replied, 'Yeah right... Magic Penis, my ass'

The rest, as they say, is history !!!!😜😜😜😜

[fomula]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Another good laugh...

Magic Penis

A businessman was preparing to go on a long business trip abroad, so he thought he'd buy his wife something to keep her occupied.

He went to a sex shop and explained his situation. The man there said, ' Well, I don't know that I have anything that will keep her occupied for so many weeks, except, perhaps... The Magic Penis!'

The husband said, 'The what'?

The salesman repeated, 'The Magic Penis,' and pulled out what seemed to be a very ordinary dildo.

The husband laughed, and said, 'It looks like a dildo!'

The man then pointed to the door and said, 'Magic Penis, door!'

The penis rose out of its box, darted over to the shop door and started pounding away at the keyhole.

The whole door shook wildly with vibrations, so much so, that a crack began to form down the center.

Then the salesman said, 'Magic Penis, return to box!' and the penis stopped and returned to the box.

The husband bought it and took it home to his wife.

After the husband had been gone a few days, the wife remembered the Magic Penis. She undressed, opened the box and said 'Magic Penis, my vagina.'

The penis shot to her crotch. It was absolutely incredible. After three mind shattering orgasms, she became very exhausted and decided she'd had enough. She tried to pull it out, but it was firmly stuck.

Her husband had neglected to tell her how to turn it off so she put her clothes on, got in her car and started for the closest hospital.

On the way, another incredibly intense orgasm made her swerve all over the road.

A police traffic car was close by and the officer immediately pulled her over.

He asked for her license, and then asked how much she'd had to drink.

Gasping and twitching, the woman said, 'I haven't had anything to drink officer. You see, I've got this Magic Penis thing stuck in my crotch and it won't stop screwing me rigid.'

The officer glared at her for a second, shook his head and replied, 'Yeah right... Magic Penis, my ass'

The rest, as they say, is history !!!!😜😜😜😜

Bro,

Thanks for another great laugh and more jokes ok?

[lightningcunt]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Haha more laughter best medicine...

Just love this one...

🌞🔳Virginity is like a Balloon🎈, One prick👈 and it's gone for ever!

🔳Sex is like a pack of Chips🍟, Once you start!
You can't stop😝!

🔳An Exam paper📝 is like a Dick 🍌, When it's hard! People get fucked!🎍

🔳Education🏨 is like hiring a prostitute💃, It needs both your money💰 and your hardwork 😓...👤!

🔳💰💳Success is like masturbating, Only your own hand👋 can let you achieve it!

🔳Life without Friends is like Boobs Without Nipples. IT'S POINTLESS !👙👙

🔳 Fuck a woman and she Loves you. When u Love a woman she Fucks you.😳😳

🔳MBBS Final Exam question paper: Fill in the blanks. If a woman faints, we must first check her pu_s_. Only few students who wrote: 'Pulse' passed.😜😜

🔳The saddest part of a Man's body is his Balls. They are sentenced to Hang Till Death!😝😝

🔳Boy: How much Calcium is there in women's BREASTS?
Girl: It's Enough to help a Man's Boneless Thing stand up😜😜

🔳Give an example of Total Business Failure due to Negligence. A Pregnant Prostitute😰😰

🔳If Necessity is the Mother of Invention, Then Frustration is the Father of Masturbation! 😉😉

🔳If your Boss says: Nothing is Impossible, ask him to wear condom after sex!💄😱

So basically life is 👙PORNOGRAPHY👙
😂😂😂😂

Don't laugh alone share it with friends!! 😆😆😆😆
This is fucking too good.!

Very nice joke bro, please share more, thanks!

[preciouswood]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Another good laugh...

Magic Penis

A businessman was preparing to go on a long business trip abroad, so he thought he'd buy his wife something to keep her occupied.

He went to a sex shop and explained his situation. The man there said, ' Well, I don't know that I have anything that will keep her occupied for so many weeks, except, perhaps... The Magic Penis!'

The husband said, 'The what'?

The salesman repeated, 'The Magic Penis,' and pulled out what seemed to be a very ordinary dildo.

The husband laughed, and said, 'It looks like a dildo!'

The man then pointed to the door and said, 'Magic Penis, door!'

The penis rose out of its box, darted over to the shop door and started pounding away at the keyhole.

The whole door shook wildly with vibrations, so much so, that a crack began to form down the center.

Then the salesman said, 'Magic Penis, return to box!' and the penis stopped and returned to the box.

The husband bought it and took it home to his wife.

After the husband had been gone a few days, the wife remembered the Magic Penis. She undressed, opened the box and said 'Magic Penis, my vagina.'

The penis shot to her crotch. It was absolutely incredible. After three mind shattering orgasms, she became very exhausted and decided she'd had enough. She tried to pull it out, but it was firmly stuck.

Her husband had neglected to tell her how to turn it off so she put her clothes on, got in her car and started for the closest hospital.

On the way, another incredibly intense orgasm made her swerve all over the road.

A police traffic car was close by and the officer immediately pulled her over.

He asked for her license, and then asked how much she'd had to drink.

Gasping and twitching, the woman said, 'I haven't had anything to drink officer. You see, I've got this Magic Penis thing stuck in my crotch and it won't stop screwing me rigid.'

The officer glared at her for a second, shook his head and replied, 'Yeah right... Magic Penis, my ass'

The rest, as they say, is history !!!!😜😜😜😜

Excellent joke bro, ROFL

[nhaviet]

Originally Posted by bigbirdbird

Peeing in the Snow


One winter day, Fred's neighbor, Sam, came up to Fred's door and started pounding on it.

Fred answered the door. "Sam, what's up?" he said.

Sam angrily replied, "That no-good son of yours has been peeing in the snow in my yard!"

Fred asked, "How do you know it was my son?"

Sam answered, "He wrote his name in pee!"

"Okay," Fred replied. "I'll talk to him about it, but I have to say, I don't see what the big deal is. It's just pee in the snow. Why are you so fired up about it?"

Sam snapped back, "It's in my daughter's handwriting!"

Bro bigbirdbird, very good one, hope to read more jokes here!

[Miksky]

Originally Posted by bigbirdbird

Unkempt


Nurse Jennings was walking down the hospital corridor when her supervisor spotted her. The supervisor couldn't believe it: her hair was unkempt, her dress wrinkled, and to top off her overall dishevelment, one of her breasts was hanging out of the open front of her uniform!

"Miss Jennings! How can you account for parading around the hospital, not only looking like a derelict, but with your breast exposed?"

"Oh," said the nurse, as she stuffed her breast into her uniform, "It's those damned interns! They never put anything back when they're through using it!"

Very funny hahahaa, more please

[Hurricane88]

Another laughing joke...

[ah rat]

_______________________

[lackadaisical]

Originally Posted by ah rat

_______________________

Thanks for sharing bro ah-rat.

[Tai_zi21]

Originally Posted by ah rat

_______________________

This is really funny and cute

[moronsense]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Another laughing joke...

Nice share bro

[Hurricane88]

Hoho another joke to share...

Wife : Come help me plant my chillies.
Husband : What do u think I am? A gardener?
Wife : Come fix the toilet drain.
Husband : What do u think I am? A plumber?
Wife : Come fix the door handle.
... Husband : What do u think I am? A carpenter?
The husband went out...
But when he came back, he saw that everything was fixed. The chilli garden, toilet drain & the door handle.
He asked his wife who had done it?
The wife said its the neighbour's son, but he gave me 2 options...
Either to make him a burger or have sex with him...
Husband: I'm sure, u gave him a burger!
Wife : What do u think I am? Mc Donalds?🤦🏼‍♀😂🤣

[bigbirdbird]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Hoho another joke to share...:


Husband: I'm sure, u gave him a burger!
Wife : What do u think I am? Mc Donalds?����‍♀����

Nice One Bro

[nhaviet]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Hoho another joke to share...

Wife : Come help me plant my chillies.
Husband : What do u think I am? A gardener?
Wife : Come fix the toilet drain.
Husband : What do u think I am? A plumber?
Wife : Come fix the door handle.
... Husband : What do u think I am? A carpenter?
The husband went out...
But when he came back, he saw that everything was fixed. The chilli garden, toilet drain & the door handle.
He asked his wife who had done it?
The wife said its the neighbour's son, but he gave me 2 options...
Either to make him a burger or have sex with him...
Husband: I'm sure, u gave him a burger!
Wife : What do u think I am? Mc Donalds?🤦🏼‍♀😂🤣

Very good one bro, more please!!