Jakarta Info

[Rainman]

copy from : - Living in Indonesia at

http://www.expat.or.id/info/newcomertoindonesia.html

Enjoy


You actually consider using the hasn't-been-washed-in-weeks towel in a public bathroom to dry your hands.

You stocked up on Marlboro at the arrivals hall duty free for $15 a carton, only to find you can buy them for $5 a carton in the shops.

You already bought fake Mont Blanc pens from 3 different people because you don't know Indonesian for "no thanks", and you're not even out of the airport yet.

You imagine the taxi driver will give you a discount because you helped push the car when it broke down on the toll road.

You think the warung with the 2 metre wide Guinness advert sells Guinness.

Your wife asks the maid to go out and buy a box of tampons, and the maid has absolutely no idea what she's talking about.

You wonder where the news sellers keep the girlie magazines, because the "top shelf" seems just like all the others.

You think red traffic lights mean you have to stop.

You bet the kids you can spot a truck with tread still on its tyres before they can. No one wins.

You ask what the legal drink-drive limit is, and are told "It depends how drunk you are. Around Rp 100,000 should be enough.

The classic: you think bule is a polite word for 'white people'.

You spend ages looking for the Indonesian word for "toilet paper/tissue", finally find it and say to your servant: "Bisa tolong minta kertas tipis untuk toilet?" and she answers: "Oooo tisu, Mam?"

You wonder what on earth goes on inside those buildings marked "cat oven" (Is the food safe?).

You think it is remarkable that every neighborhood in Jakarta and every village you pass in the countryside seems to have a doctor with the rather unlikely name of "Dr. Gigi" (Do they all look a bit like Eva Gabor?).

You think that walking or jogging from your apartment in Senayan to your office in Kuningan is an excellent idea.

You still treasure the concept of a COLD beer.

You think "Hello mister!" is a little local "colour" and not in the least annoying.

You think Hello Mister and is a friendly greeting, and perhaps an opportunity to meet a "local"

You consider the mistake in your bar bill genuine ...
Mr. 'Menara' must be somebody so rich to own so many tall buildings ...

Someone changed the TV channel 7 times in the last 10 minutes and you didn't notice.

You're a girl, and you don't own any size 8 black trousers or 2 cm-thick-cup bras.

You think around 30% of the female population of Jakarta are nuns.

The very first Indonesian words you learnt were "Kenapa semuanya selalu terlambat?"

You've seen 5,000,000 cars and 10,000,000 motor bikes, but never yet seen a gas station.

You ask to see the ojek driver's insurance certificate before you'll ride with him.

You think when the girls smile at you it means they want your body.

For guys ... you wonder why your secretary looks so ready to throw herself at you after you ask her: "Could you copy this file darling?" (only because you can't bloody remember what her name is!)

You think that for the price you pay for telephone calls ... that you will get a good service.

You think that the indonesian language is called "bahasa".

You spend ages looking for words such as "mencari" in your dictionary **

If ... you end up trying to put water in your car tyres (air in Indonesian means water!)

You're struggling to get your mind around the concept of kopi musang, when you are introduced to the concept of durian gajah (Sumatra, 1977)

You try to use the hot water from your bathroom tap to make a cup of coffee in the morning.

You go out at the weekend looking for a nice park to take a walk/play ball in ...

If you think you needn't pay after a tukang semir has unfortunately "smeared" your sneakers.
Satisfaction is not part of the equation in business undertakings ... you must pay for any service
rendered without regard to its consequences.

If you think the little food items the waiter brings to your table (aside from what you ordered ) are free.

Glossary:

Indonesian - Bahasa Indonesia English - Bahasa Inggris
tisu facial tissue and/or toilet tissue
cat oven cat - paint, baked on auto paint!
Dr. Gigi - dentist
menara - tower, common name given to office buildings
Kenapa semuanya selalu terlambat-- Why is everyone always late!
ojek- motorcycle taxi
bahasa - language (Bahasa Indonesia is the Indonesian language)
mencari - to look for something/someone
kopi musang - Coffee made from beans that have been consumed and excreted from a musang (civet cat)
durian gajah - enormous species of durian (gajah means elephant)
tukang semir- person who polishes your shoes


**Early difficulties in learning bahasa Indonesia are often related to the need to understand the structure of Indonesian words. Once you can get rid of the ter-, meng-, pem- and other suffixes and find the root word ... it's much easier to look things up in a dictionary. For example ... membuka - look up buka; mencari - look up car!

These great insights into the humorous situations expatriate newcomers to Indonesia find themselves in were written by visitors to the Expat Forum on this site.

[Rainman]

I like this and find it very true thus sharing with pal here.


Part 1- The First Week


1) After 20 hours of traveling, you find yourself in a twin-cam doing 200 kph diagonally across the toll road. Your knuckles are white and you are sweating. You timidly ask the driver to slow down - a mistake, as he looks at you instead of the road, smiles broadly and says, "Yes!"- the only English word he knows. He doesn't slow down. You wish you hadn't worn that vest.

2)In the city, you spend 20 minutes in the car without moving while old men overtake you pushing carts. You wonder if all the blue/grey stuff in the air is normal, and resolve never to eat in one of the millions of roadside food stalls for fear of your life.

3)At least the hotel is a bit like home. They even have fish 'n chips on the menu. Beer costs a fortune.

4)You have your first meeting with your Indonesian business contacts scheduled at 10:00 a.m. Arriving on time, you are about to leave 30 minutes later to find the CORRECT venue when everyone else shows up. Your secretary keeps laughing heartily at the Indonesian comments, which is unsettling. Unfortunately, it is Friday, and everyone disappears again at 11:30 a.m. to go and pray. They never come back.

5)All the Indonesian girls in the hotel bar seem very friendly. They all speak English, and are intrigued to learn about your home and family. Then the barmaid who took pity on you on your first day whispers you the girl's price lists. You are aware you stick out like a sore thumb, as even the westerners call you 'bule' - you guess that must mean 'newcomer'.

6) More time in the traffic going nowhere, until suddenly an unseen light goes green and you suffer minor whiplash from the acceleration. Motorbikes with whole families aboard come at you on the wrong side of the road. You wonder where you can buy a copy of the local Highway Code (It probably consists of 7 words: "If you get there first, it's yours").

7)You give up drinking tea and coffee, because no matter what gestures you make you can't stop them putting 4 tablespoons of sugar in it. You also give up smoking, because Silk Cut Ultra-Low doesn't seem to be very widely available.

8)The driver hasn't showed up, so you get a taxi. Despite having worked all day, the taxi driver only has Rp 500 in his pocket, so you have to pay Rp 50,000 for a Rp 5,730 journey. Later you wonder if the driver was telling the truth.

9)You are enjoying some Indonesian home hospitality when a 2-inch long brown thing runs over your foot. No one flinches except you, and as you re-enter the earth's atmosphere you realize it wasn't a mouse, but a cockroach.

10)For the third time that day you look away awkwardly from the beggar, pretending not to notice. You wonder how the hell you'll stand it here for the rest of the week.

Part 2: The Twenty-first Week

1)Your driver, Pak Yanto collects you from your apartment at 6:00 a.m. During the drive to the office you alternately read the paper, sleep and exchange jokes in Indonesian with Pak Yanto. You get to the office with no recollection of the journey whatever.

2)At 11:10 a.m. you decide it must be lunch time. You are by now well used to "rubber time"- the concept that watches are useless, as it is whatever time you want it to be. You go to a little restaurant with your colleagues and eat "ayam rica-rica" with extra sambal. That makes you sleepy, so you postpone a couple of meetings until next week.

3)Back home, the maid greets you with genuine enthusiasm and runs your bath and lays out your evening clothes. She doesn't speak English, but you understand the intricacies of her analysis of today's price increases at the market and the scandal surrounding the fact that the maid next door was seen smoking in the street, as she chatters happily away to you.

4)You stop off at one of the millions of roadside food stalls with your beautiful Indonesian girlfriend and enjoy a huge bowl of soto kambing that tastes like heaven, and decide on the spot that you'll marry the girl. The thought of eating fish 'n chips now seems about as appealing as eating your own fingernails. No one seems to notice you're the only westerner in the place - perhaps you're starting to look Indonesian?

5)You go to the beach with your newly appointed fiancee at the weekend and eat fresh barbecued lobster in the sunset. Pak Yanto joins you to drink coffee (tidak pakai gula!), and smoke Sampoerna underneath the sign you vaguely noticed that says "Dilarang merokok". You are not alone.

6)Your driver is at the workshop with the car so you get a taxi. Unfortunately the taxi driver has no change and you only have a Rp 50,000 note for a Rp 5,730 journey. You exclaim "cuek aje!" and leap out of the car to get the exact money, but the taxi driver suddenly remembers a sack of cash he'd accidentally overlooked in his back pocket.

7)Pak Yanto is looking pleased with himself. He explains that as you spend so much time at the nightclub of the best hotel in town, they now let him park out front with the limos instead of in the underground car park. You wonder if you might be overdoing things a bit.

8)You wonder if any city in the world is as beautiful as some parts of Jakarta at night. Despite having driven this way hundreds of times before, you never get bored with the lights. It was driving down here with the music loud and a car full of Indonesian friends, excited at the prospect of a good night out, that you decided this was the place you wanted to be for a long, long time.

9)You are enjoying some Indonesian home hospitality with your fiancee's family and her sister's newly arrived westerner friend, when a 2-inch long brown thing runs over his foot. As he picks himself out of the ceiling, you realize how far you've come in the last few months.

10)For the third time that day, you help make a poor person happier, and ponder the best ways of helping others on a broader scale. And you wonder how the hell you'd stand it if you ever went home.

Semi autobiographical! (Pak Yanto is a pseudonym!)

Dave Cook

Mini Glossary:

yam rica-rica -------------- Chicken dish
Bule -------------------------Derogatory slang word for foreigners, literally means albino
Cuek aje ------------------"No Problem", "I don't care"
Dilarang merokok ---------Smoking forbidden
Sambal --------------------- Spicy hot chili paste, an essential condiment to Indonesian food
Soto kambing --------------Goat soup
Tidak pakai gula ---------- Don't add sugar

Hope u like it

[MoonFace]

Bro Rainman!

How's the demo at the Parliament house today ?

I remember my last flight back from Jakarta.
The guy beside me, who happens to know some officials (nonames ment here)
that 'somebody' is plotting to bring down Ibu Mega within
this 2 months
The demo today at PH is quiet bad I've seen for past year.

It is as bad as shown on our MediaCock TV? (As Always.....)

[danny41sg]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Rainman
[B]I like this and find it very true thus sharing with pal here.


Part 1- The First Week

Hey bro,

What have gone into you huh. All of a sudden begins to sound like a phillosopher/ politician. Maybe not enough beer huh.

[Martini-Fan]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by danny41sg
[B]

Originally posted by Rainman
I like this and find it very true thus sharing with pal here.


Part 1- The First Week

Hey bro,

What have gone into you huh. All of a sudden begins to sound like a phillosopher/ politician. Maybe not enough beer huh.

Or perhaps a lack of ladies????
Bro Rainman, do I have to worry about you?
Me as a doctor come in Sep, then we'll have a look if we get a fine treatment in some of the bars. Hehe, cheers!

[Rainman]

Originally posted by MoonFace
Bro Rainman!

How's the demo at the Parliament house today ?

I remember my last flight back from Jakarta.
The guy beside me, who happens to know some officials (nonames ment here)
that 'somebody' is plotting to bring down Ibu Mega within
this 2 months
The demo today at PH is quiet bad I've seen for past year.

It is as bad as shown on our MediaCock TV? (As Always.....)

Jesus... Is there a demo??? I am not aware about it until u told me. That's life. When I was in Singapore, I was worried watching TV seeing what's happening....

When here. U don;t even notice.

Because.....Nobody care anymore..

Cheers

So I see u this week-end... Looking for Majong kaki leh.. U can??

[Rainman]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by danny41sg
[B]

Originally posted by Rainman
I like this and find it very true thus sharing with pal here.


Part 1- The First Week

Hey bro,

What have gone into you huh. All of a sudden begins to sound like a phillosopher/ politician. Maybe not enough beer huh.

U should know that I am good in all those subject... Remember our discussion with Lawry at the coffee shop at 6 am in the morning...

That's the real me....

Cheers

No beer for a while as all me friend here has gone back for National day long week end. sigh.....

[danny41sg]

Originally posted by Rainman


No beer for a while as all me friend here has gone back for National day long week end. sigh.....

Glad to hear that. Good for you. You take care huh.

[Rainman]

Originally posted by Martini-Fan


Or perhaps a lack of ladies????
Bro Rainman, do I have to worry about you?
Me as a doctor come in Sep, then we'll have a look if we get a fine treatment in some of the bars. Hehe, cheers!

Man... that's more then 30 days away... U think if I sick... I can live to see u...kekekekeke

I know what u want now and I will arrange some nice fun for u..

Try to let me know your schedule as I am also planning to visit Surabaya plus central Java.


Been to Surabaya too many times but never leave town. So if u don;t mind... Let's have some fun together... To that Chicken farm that u are planning to visit... At least I provide the transport and u the dollar. Fair deal.

I know I am fair.

Cheers

[Rainman]

Originally posted by danny41sg


Glad to hear that. Good for you. You take care huh.

Thanks Bro.. E-mail me the details of your product and let me do a little market reseach for U before coming....

Cheers

[Rainman]

Originally posted by songster
Bro Rainman,

Just send a PM to you,
H/P number


Songster

Hopoe to see you guys in Jakarta

receieved..

Let's see how first as next week is the start of :SEVEN month HALF"

cheers

[Rainman]

A note of thanks from the Malaysian Club of Jakarta or "MCJ". For ppl living in Jakarta.....



UNQUOTE

Dear All,

T H A N K Y O U

Thank you for making last night a wonderful evening ! We had a total of 52 guests who attended and created a beautiful atmosphere. It was also very pleasing to have the kids enjoying themselves as well.

In order to make out future gatherings exciting and a great place to meet/ fellowship , may I suggest you throw us some ideas what events we should hold and how you can participate to make it enjoyable .

A couple of members mentioned to me last night about why dont we bring our old VCD /DVD /music cassettes/books /books and exchange them with other members.every month when we gather. These items may be old to you but to others they are new when they have not watched/heard /read them. In this
way, we can all save money . We can gather a list of the items for exchange , publish the list over the email to all members and you make some prearrangments to meet your prospective exchangers at the next gathering to exchange the items . Your comments please.

Currently we are launching a membership recruitment drive and our target is to achieve a minimum membership of 250 members by the end of 2002. Currently our membership stands at 148 members as of end July 2002.

As you are members the club ,MCJ need you to be our ambassadors to introduce our Club to your friends so that they can join us .I figure out if every one of you just recruit one or two members within the next two months we will surpass out target easily.

MCJ Slogan for the recruitment drive is" ALL FOR ONE AND ONE FOR ALL"

The more members we have ,the merrier!!


Yours sincerely,

A T Chuan
President
Malaysia Club Jakarta

UNQUOTE

[MoonFace]

Originally posted by Rainman


Jesus... Is there a demo??? I am not aware about it until u told me. That's life. When I was in Singapore, I was worried watching TV seeing what's happening....

When here. U don;t even notice.

Because.....Nobody care anymore..

Cheers

So I see u this week-end... Looking for Majong kaki leh.. U can??

Sorry Bro for causing any Alarm!
Oh yah!..I forgot.. I'm in Singapore!!!!

Where they feed you with 'baddest' new about the region and
'over-report' good news about themselves!

Guess!..I'll still be eating Bubur when the demo happens!

Thanks for the feedback.. (if any!...heh)

Been here too long liao!..have t go back Jkt drink AQUA (REAL Water)
...otherwise this NDP......err....

[Rainman]

Okay... noted...

Headline of " The Jakarta POST" today...

1) Asian Stock markets decline on fear of US economy.

2) Agus defends military, police involvement in politic.

3) 3 controversial manulife judges suspended from duty.

4) Labor problem could cause distress.

See bo demo leh..... very peaceful wah.

Got to go now.... Lunch and meeting in Sudiman...

Cheers

Originally posted by MoonFace


Sorry Bro for causing any Alarm!
Oh yah!..I forgot.. I'm in Singapore!!!!

Where they feed you with 'baddest' new about the region and
'over-report' good news about themselves!

Guess!..I'll still be eating Bubur when the demo happens!

Thanks for the feedback.. (if any!...heh)

Been here too long liao!..have t go back Jkt drink AQUA (REAL Water)
...otherwise this NDP......err....

[Kiev]

Halo brudders,

when u guys back? Can go cheong JB together?

Regards