Wanted to married a China girl but i am married

[cencen]

Originally Posted by rtcb68

Do any want know is it safe to ROM in China? Thanks

Nothing can be full proofed.

[cablesnwires]

Originally Posted by leecs

Even if theres no PRC or any girls in my picture, I've already somewhat no faith in this marriage. I've been giving in most of the time & keep my grievances in my heart. Did wana try to have a heart ot heart talk with her. But im afraid it will end up with her saying why dont we get a divorce.

Seems like she care for the dog more than my family gatherings or what not.

Bro leecs,

Just basing on this sentence marked in bold, I KNOW you want this marriage to work. If you are hell bent on getting a divorce, you would not have hesitated to talk to her.

In other words, you are now trying to find the right excuse to divorce your current wife, trust me brother, there is no right excuse for you to do just that.

Let me ask you this? Did you really, really tried to salvage your marriage? Or you are bottling it inside and that you expect her to know what is troubling you?

I see this as a lack of communication between the parties (haha.. not that I do not have this problem as well).

Why not this way, just a suggestion.

Talk to your wife about going to see a marriage counselor. Perhaps there are common grounds which the both can work on it. Note that it takes 2 hands to clap or slap each other. Work and iron out those issues. Do it for the next 6 months, and if it still doesn't work out, well, it's still not too late to get a divorce.

As to your gf in china, tell her to wait for you for 6 months, and use this 6 months to gauge her affection and love for you. For all you know, she's out to milk you. Money lost is okay, but feeling hurt will not be that easy.

Anyway, it is your life. How you choose to live it, it's your choice.

Good luck leecs.

[cablesnwires]

Originally Posted by rtcb68

Do any want know is it safe to ROM in China? Thanks

If your wife found out about this and make a report, you will be liable for bigamy charge, which is a jailable offence.

Don't even think about this, bro rtcb68.

[kiko]

Bro TS: My advice to u is please be faithful to your wife, love her. And you should break off any relationship with your china gal.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

TS, as per Kiko, u shud break off your fling wif your china gal......be faithful to your wife and pass the PRC over to Kiko to be dealt wif!!!!!

[kogi]

Originally Posted by rtcb68

Hi,
how come my thread become other people thread.
Firstly, i am not divorcing my wife. I do love my wife and family.
But i also love my gf from China. I just cant control myself to love her.
And she do love me also. She knew that i am married and she do not
want anything from me either.
I suppost to meet her family in few month time, she had mention to me
that about our issue on married to her family. and her parent told her
that up to us to decide how we want (her family did not know I am married)
But I think that to be fair to her,I want to give her a customise married.
Do any want know is it safe to ROM in China? Thanks

Bro rtcb68 your thread become other people thread because you went missing after the 1st post and now only show up in post #103. Most of the first 35 posts refer to your case. You want to give your PRC lady a customary marriage to wayang her parents without ROM maybe you can try. See how long the wayang can last. Good luck with that. Do read my post in #33 about getting your balls put in a fire before you proceed with ROM in China.

[colins]

Originally Posted by DO_YOU_BJ

TS, as per Kiko, u shud break off your fling wif your china gal......be faithful to your wife and pass the PRC over to Kiko to be dealt wif!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHA......I can't imagine any punishment more severe than that!

[DO_I_BJ]

Originally Posted by colins

HAHAHAHAHA......I can't imagine any punishment more severe than that!

actually u are doing a favor to the PRC.
lol

[leecs]

Hi! Thanks for your reply. Although many have given me positive & negative feedback, This is the story of my wife & me.

My story goes like this:
I gotta know my wife back in 1995-96. She was my friends GF back then. Their relationship was ups & downs with breaks & patches. Then in 2000, I think my friend did something that me very “dulan”, so I chased my wife for revenge. (At that time, their relationship was already in the rocks again). So the day I ORD, I’ve got her.

At 1st the relationship was just play play, but then I realized that we love & care for each other. At that time we were so poor that we share a bowl of soup & 2 bowls of rice almost everyday. (We were both working at Thomson plaza but different shops.) Despite getting nagged by my dad, I still take his car every Saturday night & bring her out.

Then there’s 1 time we quarrel, I forgot already. She said things very sarcastically! Like a dagger piercing my heart. That was the time I started to keep it in my heart. I gave in & let her win because I love her.

During our 5 year relationship, there are quarrels along the way & she continued saying sarcastic things to me. I told her many times not to, but she continued. I gave in & let her win.

There was once I asked her about forming a family & having babies. She then told me she doesn’t like babies. She finds them irritating & nuisance. I thought she was just joking. So we got ROMed on 05. I was planning like having a house in 06 then have a child in 07. But she shattered my dreams.
Ever since we moved into our new house, We were having protected sex since we been together. So 1 fine night, I decided not to use it. She flared up & we stopped ½ way. Ever since then, every time when I don’t wana use, she’ll flare up & said shes not ready, baby’s irraitating, nuisance, etc very forcefully. Any reason she could think of. Most of the time I would request for sex & she will reject most of the time, saying tired, no mood, tomorrow morning gotta work. So I have no choice but to DIY. (Back then, never though of finding FL or KTVs.) She also said she wants to live the both of use like that forever.

Then came the wedding dinner. My parents & relatives have been asking when is our wedding dinner. Everytime I ask her about this, She’ll give me a face & said she doesn’t want a dinner, all sorts of reasons came out of her mouth. There was once she told me “then we shouldn’t get married” or something like that. It hurts me right through the heart. I was like stuck between my parents & her.

She would also rarely come to my parent’s home for dinner or any gatherings. I will always make it a point to go if her mum invites me for dinner. This year during CNY, My mum & I asked her whether she wants to go to Msia for CNY. She said no. Nobody’s taking care of her dog. But during last Nov when we go to Hong Kong, She can give it to the previous owner to take care for a week, wheras in Msia, its only 4 days. Well, her dog is more important than my sick grandpa!!! Most of my relatives asked me why didn’t your wife come back, I don’t know how to answer.

All this issues has been going on since 07 untill now & all the things she said sarcastically to me, I kept it & never flare out because I love her. Early this year, we were having dinner & I pop out a casual question of babies. She immeadieatly said that she doesn’t like & don’t want babies with confidence. Then she asked me this “Am I getting bored of the life now” I told her yes. Then the moment of truth: ‘Why don’t we get a divorce & don’t waste each others time’, ‘we shouldn’t get married so early’. At that point of time, my impression on her changed 360 degrees! She totaled said divorce 3 times on 3 occasions when I wana have a chat with her. From that point onwards, My feelings for her has faded. I refrain from fucking her, touching her, etc. Conversations are at the very minimal. At most chat abit, that’s it

Im still finding a right time to really have a chat with her & ask her about our future plans. No point dragging or living the live it is now. Im sick & tired of this life. If it cant work out, then its time for us to go.

This story is somewhat the best of my memory I can think of now. There are more sarcastic things that I cant think of now.

[colins]

Thank you for your story on your wife leecs. It is the story of your PRC girl which I was interested in, bro.

[mike1304k]

Bro Leecs,


I am sorry to hear your situation. My wife was also like that in the beginning. The first time we made love and I came too fast inside her, she also made a big hoo ha. In the first few years, and during pak tor, she also said very clearly she did not want kids. After marriage, I had to do the withdrawal method for almost 3 years. But in the end, I slowly convinced her that having a family is a beautiful thing and that it is the right of every female. Instead of blaming or being angry or hurt, try to understand why she does not like children. My wife was also like dat. She did not like to look after them and also did not have the confidence. She was also afraid of the pain and because her previous boyfriend was an assehole and she was afraid that once they had children, she would be screwed if he did not accept the responsibility. I changed all that. I made her feel secure in me enough to want to go through the challenge of giving birth.

So Bro Leecs, try the psychology approach. Not the "find another love" approach. Women can change their feelings suddenly. My ex suddenly dropped me when her first love came back... But that is life... The big problem is find out why and if the why is a small thing that can be fixed, fix it. But if it is something that cannot, then be a man and walk away from it lor. Just like being to walk away from a WL, as a man, if you have done nothing wrong and are sure that your wife will be happier in divorcing you, then give her that happiness. If it is something that can be fixed, then you owe it to her to fix it. It can be something as simple as she has lost confidence in you. Or she has found someone else. But whatever the reason, just take a step back and do not play emotions or hurt back, just see where you want to go with it.

[HCKing]

bro leecs, easy 4 u to want a child but she is the one bearing it and after giving birth she will also be the one looking after it so cant blame her for her 2nd thoughts abt giving birth. also frm what u have written i think yr wife goes 4 二人世界 kind of marriage life so if u dont like such lifestyle then maybe she isnt the one 4 u. seems to me u r jealous that she pays more attention to the dog than u and yr family like tat even if she bears u a child there will still be problems, who kns u may start complaining that she gives the child much more attention than u. so hw?

1st thing is have a gd talk with her, find out hw she feels and wat she is nt happy abt, dont just keep numb and thinks u knw everything abt her. who knws she might also have alot of unhappiness towards u and is seeking advice at flowerpod forum.

2nd thing is tell her wat u expect frm a wife, dont just loon and expect her to knw hw u feel automatically. some ppl must kana farked than will wake up ideas. if cant communicate at all then bo bian liao means nt fated to be together as couples.

as for the PRC girl, aiyah u just needed some attention nw mah so if u cant find it at hm u have to seek elsewhere so its understandable. dont waste too much time and effort on it, settle yr marriage problems 1st, then wrk hard 4 yr career, after tat if still gt time to spare then u can start thinking abt PRC girl but seriously nw economy so bad doubt u can afford a chio PRC wife at the moment.

be realistic bro!

[leecs]

Originally Posted by mike1304k

Bro Leecs,


I am sorry to hear your situation. My wife was also like that in the beginning. The first time we made love and I came too fast inside her, she also made a big hoo ha. In the first few years, and during pak tor, she also said very clearly she did not want kids. After marriage, I had to do the withdrawal method for almost 3 years. But in the end, I slowly convinced her that having a family is a beautiful thing and that it is the right of every female. Instead of blaming or being angry or hurt, try to understand why she does not like children. My wife was also like dat. She did not like to look after them and also did not have the confidence. She was also afraid of the pain and because her previous boyfriend was an assehole and she was afraid that once they had children, she would be screwed if he did not accept the responsibility. I changed all that. I made her feel secure in me enough to want to go through the challenge of giving birth.

So Bro Leecs, try the psychology approach. Not the "find another love" approach. Women can change their feelings suddenly. My ex suddenly dropped me when her first love came back... But that is life... The big problem is find out why and if the why is a small thing that can be fixed, fix it. But if it is something that cannot, then be a man and walk away from it lor. Just like being to walk away from a WL, as a man, if you have done nothing wrong and are sure that your wife will be happier in divorcing you, then give her that happiness. If it is something that can be fixed, then you owe it to her to fix it. It can be something as simple as she has lost confidence in you. Or she has found someone else. But whatever the reason, just take a step back and do not play emotions or hurt back, just see where you want to go with it.

My wife is strong & determined in whatever she thinks or say. No means no, yes means yes. Like the dog. Before my biz trip to Japan last sep, I told her that please don’t take in the dog. It will be very dirty & smelly in the house. She neglected my request & when I return home, the dog is in my house. Its not the dog I hate, it’s the amount of housework I gotta do every 2-3 days after work. I vacuumed; mop every corner of the house because of the dog’s hair. If all the hairs were to combined, it can be a fur ball for cats!!! 我真得很累. I felt very ‘dirty’ at home no matter how clean the house was. She even asked the dog to call me爸爸. Do you know how I feel?. 我忍.

As for babies, if you know her or you happen to see her with children, you will know what I mean. There are a few occasions where my friends baby were a month old or their birthdays. I brought to on 2 occasions. I would then carry my friends baby & play. She doesn’t wana even look at it. When I pass the baby to her, She doesn’t want & push it away. Most of my friends were puzzled by it. There was also once my colleague’s baby is in hospital. I brought my wife to visit her. She wont even wana see, touch or carry the baby. My colleague was puzzled too.

Her intention is to live the both of us + the dog for the rest of our lives. Everyday when I go home, I feel so bored &空虚. I would play my guitar, use the com, whereas she would watch TV, read story book & play with the fucking dog!!!

My feelings for her has already died.

[leecs]

Originally Posted by HCKing

bro leecs, easy 4 u to want a child but she is the one bearing it and after giving birth she will also be the one looking after it so cant blame her for her 2nd thoughts abt giving birth. also frm what u have written i think yr wife goes 4 二人世界 kind of marriage life so if u dont like such lifestyle then maybe she isnt the one 4 u. seems to me u r jealous that she pays more attention to the dog than u and yr family like tat even if she bears u a child there will still be problems, who kns u may start complaining that she gives the child much more attention than u. so hw?

1st thing is have a gd talk with her, find out hw she feels and wat she is nt happy abt, dont just keep numb and thinks u knw everything abt her. who knws she might also have alot of unhappiness towards u and is seeking advice at flowerpod forum.

2nd thing is tell her wat u expect frm a wife, dont just loon and expect her to knw hw u feel automatically. some ppl must kana farked than will wake up ideas. if cant communicate at all then bo bian liao means nt fated to be together as couples.

as for the PRC girl, aiyah u just needed some attention nw mah so if u cant find it at hm u have to seek elsewhere so its understandable. dont waste too much time and effort on it, settle yr marriage problems 1st, then wrk hard 4 yr career, after tat if still gt time to spare then u can start thinking abt PRC girl but seriously nw economy so bad doubt u can afford a chio PRC wife at the moment.

be realistic bro!

Hi! Its not the taking care or giving birth that she doesn’t want a baby. She wants a二人世界 kind of marriage life, which I don’t want & its getting bored. She don’t even like children, how can she give more attention? ‘Im afraid that if she really gives me a baby, then I be the 1 taking care. It will be like she’s taking care of the dog, Im taking care of the baby. Then what’s the use of a mother? I rather find another girl who likes children.

From what she told me, she said I have a very funny family. My family would make it a point to have gatherings with my aunts & uncles (more frequent ever since my aunt passed away & her 2 small kids needed more attention). She would give me excuses of not tagging along with me for the gatherings. whereas her family doesn’t. They would like stay away from them as far as possible. She also said that my family has a funny lifestyle. I don’t know what that means though.

[mike1304k]

Originally Posted by leecs

My wife is strong & determined in whatever she thinks or say. No means no, yes means yes. Like the dog. Before my biz trip to Japan last sep, I told her that please don’t take in the dog. It will be very dirty & smelly in the house. She neglected my request & when I return home, the dog is in my house. Its not the dog I hate, it’s the amount of housework I gotta do every 2-3 days after work. I vacuumed; mop every corner of the house because of the dog’s hair. If all the hairs were to combined, it can be a fur ball for cats!!! 我真得很累. I felt very ‘dirty’ at home no matter how clean the house was. She even asked the dog to call me爸爸. Do you know how I feel?. 我忍.

As for babies, if you know her or you happen to see her with children, you will know what I mean. There are a few occasions where my friends baby were a month old or their birthdays. I brought to on 2 occasions. I would then carry my friends baby & play. She doesn’t wana even look at it. When I pass the baby to her, She doesn’t want & push it away. Most of my friends were puzzled by it. There was also once my colleague’s baby is in hospital. I brought my wife to visit her. She wont even wana see, touch or carry the baby. My colleague was puzzled too.

Her intention is to live the both of us + the dog for the rest of our lives. Everyday when I go home, I feel so bored &空虚. I would play my guitar, use the com, whereas she would watch TV, read story book & play with the fucking dog!!!

My feelings for her has already died.

It is sad when we hear such things. Then the only other thing I can say is to decide to move on. But please do not rush into a relationship with a PRC or a WL just to feel good or to have a child... Best of luck bro.