Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

[vietboy]

Originally Posted by Golden question

why u worry so much about whether to see your grandchildren or not?how old are u?Dont because of wanted to see your children or your grandchildren then u sign.ask yourself,how much u know her.since u start your posting here means u still have some doubt

Yes, why worry over something u have no control or knowledge of? I think his gal is just trying to expedite the marriage lah.

Originally Posted by Golden question

vietnamese girl will ask u to marry them fast.really up to u cos vietnamese girl is not really what u will expect the same as sg girl.Learn more about their thinking and way of doing things before u decide.

Agreed! Once they think u r the one, thats it, u are chopped on the forehead as husband liao. Vietnamese couple tend to "pak tor" for a few months, then get married. So it normal for his gf to pop the question after 6 mths.

[vietboy]

Originally Posted by asdfghjkl

my viet bff lives in seascape.. always like to pay her a visit.. damn posh.. whole night party also can, hehe

Where is this seascape?

[vietboy]

Originally Posted by naemlo

Dun gather, go and experience it. Social university is always better than any top universities u can name them. Furthermore, marriage with Viet Gathering information thru internet????

Every individual ger, family is different....

Totally agreed! Social uni is where u learn n do the practical, what u study here is for references only not to be applied as like naemlo said, diff gal diff. Somemore bros experiences not necessarliy will also happen to u or apply to u.

Originally Posted by darkburn

Hiak.. Bro naemio,isn't the topic "understanding Vietnamese life partner"?
So I have been reading thru this post n gathering information of what to expect if I marry a Vietnam lady..
I really do want to settle down with her but at the moment due to my work,I can only fly every fortnight to see her for 2days..
Like I mentioned earlier, I hope I can learn from u bros out there who already married..

Whoa! U so rich har can afford to fly fortnightly to VN just to see her for 2 days? If i am you, i will accumulate to a few months then make 1 trip. I still got my life here to live out. Nowadays with mobile internet getting common in VN, can always use video chat dun have to see personally. I mean she is only yur gf for 6 mths u need to go to such extreme? unless u tell me u got other need that cannot be done over cyberspace.

[vietboy]

Originally Posted by darkburn

Bro vietboy,like I mentioned earlier,she used to be quite finacially ok in e past but because of some failed business her family suffered recently, things turned otherwise..
And because of her sudden family downfall or downturn, she asked me for some help n because the word 'marriage' did pop up before things turned bad,she did ask me to consider whether do I want to take up e extra 'resposibilities' or I can just choose to walk away..
She did not work before and she did mention going to work in a resturant to help out the family expenses recently bcoz of the things that happened..

Bro, if her family still can afford to stay in a condo n not a rented simple apartment. Then it says this much about her family's current financial. If they really need and short of money, they will move to a cheaper place to cut cost.

And bro, u r just her bf for 6months, why u need to take up the extra responsibility? U r not her husband yet!

Good for u that she mentioned she wants to work. Good for her too. She has to learn to be independent, not everything dependent on u. If not u very "惨" in the future. Be careful, as she did not workBefore, she might have problem working. My advise is let her go work 1st, then see how, if still cannot, and u think tat u going to be her husband soon, then go in to help.

[darkburn]

Bro Viet,m not rich la..taking budget..still manageable.. We chat via FaceTime ,is free!!
Just that I misses her so I juz fly over n see her..not that I got other needs la but if have..y not?
I know I m not her husband yet,that y I m thinking y should I take up e extra resposibility.. Just that she asked for my help n she did tell me before hand if I should take up or not..
And Just that things got more complicated recently,not about our r/ship but her family
matters..
I seriously thinking about the worst n m i prepare to take e extra load.. I m a rational person but when due to matters of the heart to the people I care about, tend to let my
heart takes over

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by darkburn

Bro Viet,m not rich la..taking budget..still manageable.. We chat via FaceTime ,is free!!
Just that I misses her so I juz fly over n see her..not that I got other needs la but if have..y not?
I know I m not her husband yet,that y I m thinking y should I take up e extra resposibility.. Just that she asked for my help n she did tell me before hand if I should take up or not..
And Just that things got more complicated recently,not about our r/ship but her family
matters..
I seriously thinking about the worst n m i prepare to take e extra load.. I m a rational person but when due to matters of the heart to the people I care about, tend to let my
heart takes over

If the sum asked by her is reasonable and you are sure she is the one, then might as well go ahead with the wedding bells. But do ask her about what her parents will ask for for wedding, you will not want her parents to ask you for a house in District 8.

[Golden question]

Originally Posted by darkburn

Bro Viet,m not rich la..taking budget..still manageable.. We chat via FaceTime ,is free!!
Just that I misses her so I juz fly over n see her..not that I got other needs la but if have..y not?
I know I m not her husband yet,that y I m thinking y should I take up e extra resposibility.. Just that she asked for my help n she did tell me before hand if I should take up or not..
And Just that things got more complicated recently,not about our r/ship but her family
matters..
I seriously thinking about the worst n m i prepare to take e extra load.. I m a rational person but when due to matters of the heart to the people I care about, tend to let my
heart takes over

If u have read through most of our posting,u will notice that after marrying a vietnamese,some of the usual things will pop up like vietnamese girl stubborness,their financial problem,family 'baggage and etc.

Like what u say,if is due to matters of the heart,u tend to let your heart take over then i believe if she is really setting up a viet KC trap then u will surely fall into it as they are totally different compare to sg girl when treating sg guy.

I am not saying all is no good cos we bro here up to now,still have a very good wife beside us.Through thick or thin,they still here so is really how u see this 'game'

[Golden question]

Originally Posted by vietboy

Ya, nowadays its not cheap to fall sick. I think the clinic u went to is a 24hrs clinic so it will charge higher than normal clinic.

The thing is that clinic is not a 24 hrs one

[Golden question]

Originally Posted by SingViet

If the sum asked by her is reasonable and you are sure she is the one, then might as well go ahead with the wedding bells. But do ask her about what her parents will ask for for wedding, you will not want her parents to ask you for a house in District 8.

yah,her present 'load' is one thing but her future 'load is also another thing.If he lucky,no future 'load' but if unluckly maybe the future 'load' will 'kill' him especially when he say his heart will rule when deal with matters of the heart

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by darkburn

And Just that things got more complicated recently,not about our r/ship but her family
matters..
I seriously thinking about the worst n m i prepare to take e extra load.. I m a rational person but when due to matters of the heart to the people I care about, tend to let my
heart takes over

hope you understood that marrying her means marrying the entire family...in Vietnam, female brings money home...

nothing to be ashamed to have personal needs...you are 33yrs old and should be sexually active...6 mths cannot tell...btw, how did you know her if you dun mind to share...puzzles me that she is there and you are here...where did you meet her 6 mths ago???...

I spoke to my gf in hcm about your case...she told me that you need learn Viet culture and also learn from her....ask her what she needs now and future...set the expectation right...get her family involved too...so no surprises in future...

[Honey Boon]

sounds so familiar to me too ... but I tot I am so much older than you

my favorite bus 133... took from Upp Serangoon Road to Marina Square

Originally Posted by KangTuo

1987-1989.... i just started to sian cha bo in school.
last time sian cha bo also no need so much money...

take bus bring cha bo go marina square watch movie and roam around.

[shysaint]

Originally Posted by darkburn

hi bro hurricane88,
my gf told me that i must marry soon...if not i marry later..later when she give birth to our children and our children grow up, i m not be able to live to see my grandchild..LoL..
district 8 she stay near the song hanh area...near vo van kiet

U are now 33 only ... give u 3 yrs get married only 36 ... ur gal 24 yrs later get married u are only 60 .. another 5 yrs give u a grand child so u are only about 65 ....

Still ok what ..

[vietboy]

Originally Posted by darkburn

Bro Viet,m not rich la..taking budget..still manageable.. We chat via FaceTime ,is free!!
Just that I misses her so I juz fly over n see her..not that I got other needs la but if have..y not?
I know I m not her husband yet,that y I m thinking y should I take up e extra resposibility.. Just that she asked for my help n she did tell me before hand if I should take up or not..
And Just that things got more complicated recently,not about our r/ship but her family
matters..
I seriously thinking about the worst n m i prepare to take e extra load.. I m a rational person but when due to matters of the heart to the people I care about, tend to let my
heart takes over

Bro, budget also expensive especially for your case i believed is buy tickets only a few days before the flight. Budget is cheap for those who buy early. Sorry to sound rude n straightforward, u mentioned u r rational, but then mentioned u tend to let heart take over for matters of the heart, this not only contradicts yurself n also showed that u r not rational. I believed yur maths is not lousy. U do the giak ling gia siao. How much u spend per trip? Multiply by per week, then per month, then how long u going to keep doing this? Compare with fly 2 months once, u tell me the amount that u will save. This save amount can be used to give to her, if u going to support her family. Wont this be more rational??

I can understand now u r going through the honeymoon period, have the urge to see her in person. But this can be controlled, u already seeing her on Facetime liao.

I not against the idea u supporting her, but dun let her be too 依赖 on u too much. But i wondered, why her family problem become yur problem? Also her family members i believed are all abled bodied they can always go out work to earn back wat was lost. If u let her family 依赖 on u, the yur future will only have a word to describe: 惨.

If u have read through this thread, u will see some bros shared that some families just sit at home do nothing after their daughters married a foreigner, some even get money to gamble. Not that i'm saying yur gf n family will be like this in the future. But u only know her 6mths, u dun know her family background well. Do u know why the are in this financial downhill now? U need to know her more n her family more too. I mentioned previously, marriage not only involved 2 persons it involved 2 families.

Like i suggested to u earlier, let her go work then see how, if really need, then u come in to help. Also take this time to know yur girl n her family more.
This is my 2 dongs to u.

[shysaint]

Originally Posted by darkburn

Thanks bro 88 for the kind response..
I know her for 6mths+..
Thou e time is not long, but m planning ahead what lies for us..
She half Taiwan n half Vietnam btw..
My knowledge of Vietnam is not strong, so hopefully I can gather more infor from u bros

6 mths ... ok lah .. love cannot be judge by time

Knowledge is not by reading here and then u became an expert ... you have to go there often, stay for some times .. stay with her, interact with her families and etc .. there are many many ...

I Have been in and out countless of time for the past 3 years ... some bro here are more than 5 yrs and some more tha 10 yrs ...

my experiences are not gain by reading here BUT in and out for Vietnam for the past 3 years ... we are able to share here is not becasue of reading other posts and then we re-share ... we alll have our own real experiences ..

[shysaint]

Originally Posted by darkburn

Hiak.. Bro naemio,isn't the topic "understanding Vietnamese life partner"?
So I have been reading thru this post n gathering information of what to expect if I marry a Vietnam lady..
I really do want to settle down with her but at the moment due to my work,I can only fly every fortnight to see her for 2days..
Like I mentioned earlier, I hope I can learn from u bros out there who already married..

Yes .. we understand the difficulty .. thats the problem with long distance relationship ...

what bro naelo said .. gals are different .. families are different up bringing are different ...

YOu CANNOT apply what we shared here on your GF or her families ... Each has it own .. you REALLY need to experienced ..

2 weeks once for 2 days . ok what .. u have to make do what u can ...

here is only for u to understand so that u are not a blur sotong when u enter the relationship and go into vietnam and dun find their cultures a ShocK