Sexless Before Marriage, Sexless After Marriage?

maybelee · #1 29-06-2013, 03:24 AM

Hi all, just curious whether anyone is in the same situation as me.

Before marriage, my husband is a very traditional man, and would only like to have sex after marriage.
I personally am an open lady and after countless rejections from him, I got sick of it and stopped initiating.
On our wedding night, we are too tired to make love, we simply slept after counting our angbao money.
After marriage, I guessed we are too used to each other (we have been together for many years) so we basically lead a sexless life.

I wonder how long we can sustain being in a marriage like this...

Nodbody · #2 29-06-2013, 03:31 AM

not really. but i think give him some time. Maybe start with foreplay before engaging. Maybe he shy

Arucard · #3 29-06-2013, 03:34 AM

Srsly that would be a big problems, you should speak with ur husband about ur thinking and perhaps listen to what is his thinking. I think you two shld break that "barrier" after all it not sex but the intimacy that is important. However that mine opinion

sean69 · #4 29-06-2013, 03:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nodbody

not really. but i think give him some time. Maybe start with foreplay before engaging. Maybe he shy

Maybe he gay??

maybelee · #5 29-06-2013, 03:41 AM

We have spoken about it many times but nothing seemed to work. I think we would both like to make things work but I am at my wits end....

He is inexperienced and not kinky.. I would say he only know at most 3 sex positions, so sex has always been quite an unpleasant experience for me so far. We never reached the cumming stage at all.

However, to be fair. He is really a good husband. Caring for me and taking care of me.

Would appreciate genuine comments, thanks..

Nodbody · #6 29-06-2013, 03:48 AM

Inexperience or not kinky is not a problem. Can watch some video and slowly build up. What i suspect is his confidence level. did you notice he has a hard on when you all get intimate? he probably has some setback in the past which is why he do not dare to try.

maybelee · #7 29-06-2013, 03:55 AM

He does, then it dies down after awhile. He might be too nervous he said. But things didn't get better after some tries..

ioioiio · #8 29-06-2013, 04:05 AM

some people who are abused when younger may react like that. I personally think its psychological.

keigo300 · #9 29-06-2013, 04:37 AM

Is it possible that he is gay? And trying to hide it with a normal marriage? No offence ya, just saying.

alan0338 · #10 29-06-2013, 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sean69

Maybe he gay??

i think so too!

eee1 · #11 29-06-2013, 10:23 AM

I have the same experience. Sexless after marriage.
No break through at all. Roar.

will88 · #12 29-06-2013, 10:24 AM

I don't think he is a gay, just an obstacle that he need to overcome. I have a friend's wife that is also exactly the same as your husband. They manage to overcome the issue after a few visit to doctor that gave her some counseling and advice. They now lead a normal sex life like any other couple.

Suggest going to a doctor that can give your husband counseling and also advice to overcome this obstacle on sex.

Brainstorm · #13 29-06-2013, 10:36 AM

You wrote in your story that you are prone to heart attacks. If your health condition is really that bad, he may not want to touch you for fear of triggering an attack. In such a case, will you still blame him for treating you with fragile care?

dk1903 · #14 29-06-2013, 11:32 AM

hi, maybelee. i don't think u have too big a problem.
afterall you have said he is a good husband and takes very good care of you.
he does ALL these because he really loves you.

remember, the no of times your husband makes love to you DOES NOT determine how much he loves you.
i have friends offering fantastic sex life to their wives, yet they are still chiong-ing outside.
so, first of all before you think so much about sex, think of what else he has offered you.
if u think he has done a great job, then let nature take its course.
i am sure some time down the road, maybe when he is less stressful at work, he will become horny. no worries, the horny gene is coded in EVERY man's DNA.

BUT if you really like to accelerate the program, maybe the following will help :
1. walk around in sexy lingerie (of course provided you guys are staying on your own and not with in-laws)
2. watch some soft-porn or hard core porn (maybe he can get some tips there)
3. massage him a little or oil him even, so that he can feel relaxed and less stressful (guys always perform better when there is not so much stress)
4. a HOLIDAY always help (we are always horny when we are overseas, the thought of us being alone in a foreign land is a good place to start any love or erotic story)
5. well, role playing has been known to do miracles (maybe he has always had a fantasy about banging his teacher or seeing a naughty dentist, etc!!)

i think i have said too much. that should do for now.

i hope it works out for you. I have seen too many failed marriages that I really hope more marriages can survive the test of time.
all the best!!

TehN| · #15 29-06-2013, 11:43 AM

Pretty obvious problem here. To guys sex and being a husband is usually 2 different things. Meaning u are definitely attractive to him as a wife calibre but not a sexual calibre.

Well sis u really need to speak to him. Find one day where he is in a mood to talk, tell him u have ur needs. Can he provide more to u in bed. Come on, he is a guy, meaning he doesn't like hints. Direct is sometimes better here.