Divorced 10 years...Now wife wants more maintenance, what are my options?

[bravoguy]

Hi all, looking for advice from all the bros out there....

I'm 50yrs old and divorced 10 years, with two school going kids. Maintenance was at 1/3 of my income at divorce, and I have been regular and never missed it.

Now wife asking to double it. I'm not making much. And it's a strain.

Anyone out there has gone through this before and can share advice?

[demonhunter]

Originally Posted by bravoguy

Hi all, looking for advice from all the bros out there....

I'm 50yrs old and divorced 10 years, with two school going kids. Maintenance was at 1/3 of my income at divorce, and I have been regular and never missed it.

Now wife asking to double it. I'm not making much. And it's a strain.

Anyone out there has gone through this before and can share advice?

Dont give lor ....

[Kruzer0102]

Originally Posted by demonhunter

Dont give lor ....

Haha TS deep down dw giv but then his conscience holding him back thats why stress..

Actually how old are your kids, are u guys close with one another? But still nonetheless, imo i think as a dad shuld jus fulfil yr part since u sort of brought them to this world. Just my 2 cents

[bravoguy]

Thanks, I'm not close to the ex-wife. And I don't agree with how she spends the money.

I'm wondering if there are legal ways for me to avoid giving more.

[mboiboi]

Hi Bro,

Legally speaking, your wife can't just say "i want more you have to give me".

Look back to your divorce, there should be a Maintenance Order (or some document) detailing how much you're supposed to be giving her for child support (assuming that the kids are with her).

If you're fulfilling your duties, she can say she wants more but you don't have to give.

If she wants to escalate and bring to court, let her. She'll have to justify why need the increase + you get to defend yourself saying it'll cause too much hardship to you. Courts are generally fair, not going to force you to hardship to pay child maintenance.

If you want legal advice, there are many free legal clinics in Singapore that you can speak to for a general sense of what your rights are and how to move forward. Search for "Pro Bono clinics". Many CCs hold clinics on a bi-weekly or monthly basis.

From there, you can decide if you need to engage a lawyer or not.

Cheers, hope you don't get gouged out by your wife on this.

[demonhunter]

Originally Posted by bravoguy

Thanks, I'm not close to the ex-wife. And I don't agree with how she spends the money.

I'm wondering if there are legal ways for me to avoid giving more.

Tiagong .... the amount of money you have to give every month can go up or down .

The amount is decided by the judge . You just have to prove your current income .

[larue]

Originally Posted by demonhunter

Tiagong .... the amount of money you have to give every month can go up or down .

The amount is decided by the judge . You just have to prove your current income .

No lah, you think judges so free, everyday adjust the maintenance and child support of every ex spouse that suka suka ask for more. Here full of tiagong.

Ask ex wife to explain why suddenly need so much money, show documentary proof, then figure out why you shouldn’t have to pay it, and/or why you can’t pay (support new family, elderly parents etc).

[Willamshakspear]

[Fiction] :- It was in the early morning hours & I was very drunk after a late night with friends at a pub, so decided to walk to a nearby HDB void deck with seats to sleep than to drive home. I managed to find one, but there was a couple seated on the chess table nearby whom seemed to ignore me, deep in conversation. Just before I slept on the seat nearby, I checked my phone for impt msgs, & inadvertently left my phone on voice record as I slept....

Man:- Hi Jane, glad we could meet up.

Woman: Hi John, good to see you. We have to meet to resolve the financial issues now between you, me & our sons.

John: I understand. But just to let you know, I had been in touch with my lawyer & there is no requirement to pay anymore than I need to when judgement was made on alimony by the Court 10 yrs ago.

Jane: That's true. So too had I been in touch with my lawyer & advised that I can apply for more financial assistance thru the Court, as I had not re-married & had faithfully provided for our 2 sons over the years with my meagre salary. They are at the age when they need to further their education to be successful in life, & so my request for more funds, to help them in tuition & Uni admission fees, more so now that with inflation, everything even basic necessities are up in prices.

John: I am aware of that. My sons are my flesh & blood. I want them to be successful in life too, far better than me, but there's only a limit on how far we parents can afford to give. I agree that costs are up, but my salary no matter how hard I work, is still limited & there is absolutely no way I can afford the kind of education & living fees to help them.

Perhaps, we need to face up to realities, that in Spore, it is not absolutely necessary to get an UNI degree to be successful in life. Opportunities abound in Spore. Even some of our most successful local biz men do not have even have a PSLE pass to their name. It's about perseverance, commitment, dedication & hardwork to a job that will make one rise in the corporate or govt services ladder in life, such as military, police or civil services.

Jane:- Not true. Dick who is my nephew just graduated with an engineering degree & along with his classmates were interviewed for a job in the finance industry. In just 6months, they now each earns a salary of $60,000 PER MONTH.

John: That's good for them, but are our sons are as capable as them to be able to graduate as engineers? I know them. Maths & science are not their best subjects.

Jane:- That's true, that's why I need more funds for tuition to help them.

John: I know where this is going. It is the hope of all parents, & a belief that tuition will help. But it's only a belief, & not necessarily true. Some even with tuition still fail, after all the costs involved. Let's look for alternative:- If our sons interest & motivation are that narrowedly focused as yours, then they will have to PROVE it in their studies - be the best in classes on their own merit & get education grants from societies & govt.

Jane:- You still don't understand. They need tuition to help them get the results.

John:- Ok Jane. I understand your concerns. They are my sons too, under joint custody. Rather than we fight it in out court which we will only lose thousands of dollars in legal fees, why not we work out something more sustainable;- I help out where ever I can in terms salary rise, bonus, govt grants, etc?

Jane: I have no access to your accounts nor salary statements. How will I know & how committed you are in the long run.?

John: I can take on additional part time jobs, to try to earn even more than what i can earn now, but how will I know that I would not die from exertion & over-work? I am no longer young & should I die the next month, then WHO will fund our sons education?

The night was so silent, that my phone recorded a tear dropped onto the surface of the porcelain table, splattering itself into even more tiny droplets....just as phone battery ran out.....[/Fiction]

[iluvbreast]

Originally Posted by bravoguy

Thanks, I'm not close to the ex-wife. And I don't agree with how she spends the money.

I'm wondering if there are legal ways for me to avoid giving more.

The background information you provided is hardly enough for any sensible advice/suggestion, but since you ask nicely...here are some guidelines for you

How did you agreed to the monthly maintenance? Negotiated by the lawyers or the judge decided?
Are the maintenance for you children or for your ex-wife?
With whom are the children mostly with?
Have you start a new family after your divorce? and for that matter have your wife start one?

Basically the lawyer will ask you the same questions before telling you what to do.

[Penguin23]

Originally Posted by bravoguy

Hi all, looking for advice from all the bros out there....

I'm 50yrs old and divorced 10 years, with two school going kids. Maintenance was at 1/3 of my income at divorce, and I have been regular and never missed it.

Now wife asking to double it. I'm not making much. And it's a strain.

Anyone out there has gone through this before and can share advice?

I'm divorced, just like you. But the kids come with me, I do not give my ex-wife a cent.

Basically the ex-wife is entitled to ask for a variation of the maintenance, but she may not get it. It is her who needs to apply to prove why she needs more, your only role is to prove your own living expenses and income.

Even though your ex-wife can show that her application sounds legit (i.e. kids living expenses has indeed gone up in the last 10 years, along with everything else), but it does not mean that you need to go hungry. Just be truthful and back up your income documentation/expenses as much as possible and the judge will accord you an outcome that it fair

Remember, it is not the role of the courts to make you go hungry and destitute because of a maintenance order. If you really cannot afford, the other side cannot force you to give

[demonhunter]

Originally Posted by Penguin23

I'm divorced, just like you. But the kids come with me, I do not give my ex-wife a cent.

Basically the ex-wife is entitled to ask for a variation of the maintenance, but she may not get it. It is her who needs to apply to prove why she needs more, your only role is to prove your own living expenses and income.

Even though your ex-wife can show that her application sounds legit (i.e. kids living expenses has indeed gone up in the last 10 years, along with everything else), but it does not mean that you need to go hungry. Just be truthful and back up your income documentation/expenses as much as possible and the judge will accord you an outcome that it fair

Remember, it is not the role of the courts to make you go hungry and destitute because of a maintenance order. If you really cannot afford, the other side cannot force you to give

Originally Posted by larue

No lah, you think judges so free, everyday adjust the maintenance and child support of every ex spouse that suka suka ask for more. Here full of tiagong.

Ask ex wife to explain why suddenly need so much money, show documentary proof, then figure out why you shouldn’t have to pay it, and/or why you can’t pay (support new family, elderly parents etc).

But someone mentioned the Judge / courts not free to adjust everyday wor ....

[larue]

Originally Posted by demonhunter

But someone mentioned the Judge / courts not free to adjust everyday wor ....

Try going to the court every month to change the amount lah.

Advice pertaining to opinion want to anyhow give just give. On practical matters, dunno shut up better.

[bravoguy]

Originally Posted by Penguin23

I'm divorced, just like you. But the kids come with me, I do not give my ex-wife a cent.

Basically the ex-wife is entitled to ask for a variation of the maintenance, but she may not get it. It is her who needs to apply to prove why she needs more, your only role is to prove your own living expenses and income.

Even though your ex-wife can show that her application sounds legit (i.e. kids living expenses has indeed gone up in the last 10 years, along with everything else), but it does not mean that you need to go hungry. Just be truthful and back up your income documentation/expenses as much as possible and the judge will accord you an outcome that it fair

Remember, it is not the role of the courts to make you go hungry and destitute because of a maintenance order. If you really cannot afford, the other side cannot force you to give

thanks bro for the advice and encouragement

[HonkyTonkyMan]

Originally Posted by bravoguy

Hi all, looking for advice from all the bros out there....

I'm 50yrs old and divorced 10 years, with two school going kids. Maintenance was at 1/3 of my income at divorce, and I have been regular and never missed it.

Now wife asking to double it. I'm not making much. And it's a strain.

Anyone out there has gone through this before and can share advice?

no choice either to abide if cannot afford then have to fight the order to vary maintenance, which means more unnecessary money wasted going to lawyers etc..to fight it you need to show proof why you cannot afford it..get ready all your bills and expenses etc.

[pearlnjewel]

nowadays the women all equal rights liao she got hands got legs can work and earn herself why she act like a beggar. Like that not equal rights liao. Want equal but dont want hardship men are not your slave