Sexless Marriage...

gent · #1 31-10-2005, 05:10 PM

Any married man here experience this??

I am currently in such a situation... after my first kid, my spouse totally avoid having sex with me. She is giving 100% to the kid now. It seems to her that sex = baby! If no plan to have baby, then no need sex! Ridiculous right!!

Had been trying hard to convince her(that sex is part of marriage) and even prepared to go to visit experts on this but she refuse to go. Claiming that sex is the least priority in her life... I am very annoyed and depressed by all these comments.

Those who encounter and overcome this before, please enlighten me...

Spytheman · #2 31-10-2005, 05:17 PM

i was like you ... after one yr plus of marriage den we have sex cos my wife scared of pain...
wat to do ? do you love her ?
i love my wife and i need sex ... so how hand , mouth ( by paid gal) or willing party who knows you are married. I manage to find one during that period... but now i am lost cos i got wife and one gal whom i also love. what to do ? man uses small head to think...
for your case , i would suggest someone to take care of baby first or go on holiday...
buy your wife nice dress or perfume...
All the best pal .. singapore needs more Fuck den more babies... No Fuck NO son

geylang18 · #3 31-10-2005, 05:31 PM

Gent

You are not alone. I have been there and sad to say that my marriage ended up in a divorce after 2+ years although i love my ex-wife very much.

For us guys, its something very biological and physical. We need sex. For woman, sometimes, its more the romance, the intimacy etc.....

I would really suggest marriage counselling as she (your wife) needs to hear it from an expert.

Good luck bro.

blur boy · #4 31-10-2005, 05:35 PM

Bro gent, sorry to hear that you going through this problem...

but from the way that you have posted, i guess that your wife is very conservative towards sex....and that is why she is rejecting the couselling part as well.....

i do understand your frustration but i guess you have to be patient and try to educate her calmly and patiently....and at the sametime, try to entice her into it...especially on the knowledge part.

Maybe she is afraid that she might get pregnant if you guys make out, i guess that that is her concern and she is worry that she might not be able to cope it. and finally, explain to her that you shall do preventive measures and not ejaculate into her loh....

Just my opinion............

gent · #5 31-10-2005, 05:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by geylang18

Gent

You are not alone. I have been there and sad to say that my marriage ended up in a divorce after 2+ years although i love my ex-wife very much.

I would really suggest marriage counselling as she (your wife) needs to hear it from an expert.

Good luck bro.

Bro geylang,

I do not think getting a divorce due to lack of sex life is a good reason right?? It's hard to explain to relatives or friends... cos' they don't know the situation I am in... And further more, now I got a little one... this kid is innocent... I do not wish my kid to grow up in a broken family...

I definately agreed with you that you that my wife need counselling, the problem is she refuses to go.

newyorker88 · #6 31-10-2005, 05:48 PM

Bro,

I guess you need some help. Can use some counselling and hope that your troubles ease asap. I guess it will be good to get some one of the opposite sex and elderly to talk to her first, rather than suggesting counsellor from public at once. That will not be as drastic as to hint to her both your marriage is in trouble. Get some relatives, such as her elder sister or mom, to find out from her what is the problem first. I hope it will work out. Communication is the key.

Good luck

bunny · #7 31-10-2005, 05:53 PM

If u want to save the marriage then act fast before it gets too late to turn around. The key part to all this is communication ... and this I mena not just talking and listening like biz talk, but really talking and understanding and then wanting to do something about it. If u really want to do something, I can give u direction to someplace which can help you. PM me for the info if you need it. Cheers and wishing you all the best

EatNDrink · #8 31-10-2005, 06:11 PM

Hello brothers, u dun get married cos of sex rite? if you really are .. then muz well go geylang .. hahaha ..

durex · #9 31-10-2005, 06:18 PM

Bro gent be patient on her,you need to educate her the important factor of sex to maintain a good level of marriage,is a balance things,maybe she have just given birth,buy some present to spice up your love life hope its help just two cents worth

bowrider · #10 31-10-2005, 06:46 PM

bro, fully understand yr position when thru the same situation twice after the 1st child and then again the after the 2nd.marriage is not all about SEX, its about commitment.Yes we have our sexual desires since we are married then the wife must provide otherwise go look for pros mah.Bro dont let the situation cos you to think unrationally n think of divorce.If you love your wife and i gues she loves you give her sometime,use this time to pamper her n have a time to chat with with her about the matter and yr sexual needs and using protection to avoid pregency, make her understand that having sex not always get her pregnant, she may not know this (no offence bro) not saying she dumb.educate her encourage he maybe wicth Porno or somethig to stir her sexual drive in her.

all the best bro marriage is a bond of love not sex.

cheers

gent · #11 31-10-2005, 07:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EatNDrink

Hello brothers, u dun get married cos of sex rite? if you really are .. then muz well go geylang .. hahaha ..

You are right... I dun get married cos' of sex definately. But a marriage without sex is very dry and dull... Sex = Make love.. With sex, actually can spice up lots of excitement in a couple... U learn how to appreciate each other more...

I just wanna know how pple facing the same problem managed to cope and savage the marriage... I am not looking for a divorce definately...

gent · #12 31-10-2005, 07:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bowrider

marriage is not all about SEX, its about commitment.educate her encourage he maybe wicth Porno or somethig to stir her sexual drive in her.

all the best bro marriage is a bond of love not sex.

cheers

I agreed that marriage is not all abt sex... And if I can choose, I would prefer to have sex with my wife(rather than pro).. The problem is I have not even touch her, kiss her for the past 18 mths... isn't it too long?? We are married, but it just simply look like a family of father, mother and kid... that's all...

btw, she dislike porn movie so much that I dun even dare to keep one at home...

notEnuff121 · #13 31-10-2005, 07:30 PM

I experienced that, and man do need sex.

Do the simple things.. holding hands, arms around waist... take it slow... keep her warm.... birthday flowers... show her you appreciate her care of the kid..

dont just jump in for SEX.... you will kill the mode.

I bet you she is very tired of taking care of the kid, and she really need help... she might be experiencing post natal blues... WATCH FOR THIS !!!

arizona · #14 31-10-2005, 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gent

Any married man here experience this??

I am currently in such a situation... after my first kid, my spouse totally avoid having sex with me. She is giving 100% to the kid now. It seems to her that sex = baby! If no plan to have baby, then no need sex! Ridiculous right!!

Had been trying hard to convince her(that sex is part of marriage) and even prepared to go to visit experts on this but she refuse to go. Claiming that sex is the least priority in her life... I am very annoyed and depressed by all these comments.

Those who encounter and overcome this before, please enlighten me...

Hey Bro,

Most Men in sin face this raging problem... another problem now is, u hv a child... nothing u can do except to "stick" on the marriage.

No offence to any bros or couple reading this...I think children = Burden esp in our environment we live in.

first thing first: did most of us rush into marriage for whatever reasons?

ss2880 · #15 31-10-2005, 11:41 PM

I got this prob with my gf too. Kinda low sex drive and penetration always painful and she dun like it. Things are getting better these days, however only limited to bj. Education plays alot to let her know that it is norm that couples enjoy sex. Let her know more stories about ppl enjoying, be it in public places or in the bedroom. My girl doesn't like porn but sexy movies, those done tastefully can arouse girls. Btw, can you make her cum? It's very important that her needs are also covered. My girl never fails to cum, she likes me fiddling her clit so much that she is happy without penetration, kinda sickening though....... Sometimes regret always make her cum without penetration. I should have inculcated that cumming comes with penetration.... sighz... anywayz, to all bros here..... try to start off with right footing and train your girl. Start off wrongly then it's kinda sad for the next few decades of married life. I am still training and slowly let her understand, it takes time, just gotta be patient although sometimes i do flare up because she is not understanding towards my needs. Flaring up helps, of course dun do it to maximum effect, just enough to make a point.

Bro, since you are married with kid, then try to talk to her although it's an uphill task. Think and try all sorts of ways, when she see you trying then slowy she will get the point.