The Hard Truth: We are all judged by our looks

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An honorable member of the Coffee Shop Has Just Posted the Following:



by Ong Soh Chin
A male friend sent me a text message last week. "You should write about the whole Serina Wee circus," he said, adding that he felt annoyed at how all the responses have been geared towards "the lowest common denominator".

He expected me, especially, to be aggrieved at the objectification of the accountant embroiled in the City Harvest Church trial.

I told him I wasn't. Well, not really. I guess my reaction to the entire episode has been one of slight bemusement. The fact is, we are all judged by how we look and dress, whether we like it or not. The male fantasies projected on Wee are no different from the moist imaginings of females when it comes to Ryan Gosling as they mould him into their idea of the perfect man - the knight in shining armour, the stylemeister, the sensitive feminist, the great actor and, ultimately, The Notebook-bearer.

In addition, Wee has also become a style icon. Again, I must confess that I am always happy to see a well-turned out woman or man in the spotlight. Truth be told, Wee's outfits have not been completely spot-on - she paired her black-striped white dress with the most questionable chunky black shoes this side of orthopaedic. But that has been her only fashion glitch to date.

To be honest, so few people in the public eye here pay any heed to looking stylish that it is refreshing when someone actually does.

The fact that this newspaper had a picture gallery devoted to her outfits shows there is obviously a pent-up public demand for local style icons. Plus, the mother of three shows that one can look effortlessly stylish without having to wear obviously branded items.

In her case, stylishness, not cleanliness, is next to godliness; she has been proclaimed the Goddess Of Nectar And All Things Divine on the Internet. Men want to be with her and women want to be her. One mainstream media female scribe even proclaimed in print to have a girl crush on her.

Nothing mean has been said about Wee online, as far as I can tell, apart from the usual Neanderthal sexual references to her physical attributes. Never mind that she is facing charges of criminal breach of trust. It would seem that a pretty, non-threatening woman can get away with anything.

Of course, women have always been judged by how good we look, how thin we are, the translucence of our skin, the slimness of our waistlines, the trimness of our ankles, the hairlessness of our bodies, the tinkling of our giggles - the list is as endless as the beauty businesses dotted around the island which promise to transform us into wispy wide-eyed bobble-headed sylphs.

Never mind that all these attributes cater to the male gaze and stereotype of what an attractive woman should look like and, just as importantly, how she should behave.

Compare the treatment Wee has been receiving to that of another woman who was recently in the spotlight. Ms Cecilia Sue, who was the prosecution's main witness in the sex-for-contracts case against former Central Narcotics Bureau chief Ng Boon Gay, also drew comments for her looks and her outfits.

But Ms Sue clearly had a harder time in the public eye because sex was involved and also because her vacillating testimonies in court ranged from cryptic to exasperating.

Like Wee, she looked good but, ultimately, she was the other, therefore, threatening, woman; and hence, vilifed and condemned from the beginning in the court of public opinion.

While Mr Ng was equally adulterous and the person actually on trial, much was made instead of the women around him - Ms Sue and his wife, Ms Yap Yen Yen, who was by his side every day. The public and the media painted Ms Yap as a brave martyr, standing by her man; as if that was always an admirable thing to do, without understanding the deeper complexities that might have existed in their relationship.

In contrast, the fact that Ms Sue's husband did not make a single appearance in court was hardly picked up on by the media.

But then again, who cares about the scarlet woman - it would seem, not even her husband - when we can canonise the very silent and dutiful wife, standing by her man?

Wee, on the other hand, is accused of abetting alleged white-collar criminals which is, arguably, not as odious because no sexual transgressions were involved.

All three women, however, have been judged at face value, more so than any men in similar positions would have been.

In Wee's case, it is always a good day when a woman is not being vilified or trashed for standing out. But ultimately, she is on trial not for her clothes or her looks. She is not a person to be put on a pedestal or someone to be taken down maliciously. She is a person answering to the law.

Sure, admire her style and her beauty. But recognise her eventually for what she is underneath the surface.

Once again, it is a cry that is all-too-familiar to women - judge me for my actions, not for how I look. And give me my due reward. Or punishment.


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