Sex Life after Marriage

Fade · #1 06-04-2009, 06:27 PM

Hubby and I got married after I found out that i was preggy. Since then, we have never make love before. It has been more than a year since my hubby last touched me. I feel very sad, depressed and unwanted. Throughout my pregnancy, I always urged my hubby to make love but he turned me down many times and told me that we will do it again after I gave birth as he is afraid that he might hurt the baby. I just gave birth 3 months ago and sex life has not resumed.

I always cry whenever i think of the times when we will get naughty and drive out to secluded places for some quickie sessions, even in cinemas when hubby will get very touchy. Now, whenever he comes home, his first priority is playing with Baby and during bedtime, he will bring the PSP to bed and played till he fall asleep. I tried talking to hubby about it, but he always avoid this issue. Telling me sex is the last thing on his mind as he is tired and even LAZY to do it. I wonder if its me who is turning him off as i breastfeed my baby - I know guys do get turn off by the sight of breast feeding, so i am trying to switch to formula milk for baby instead. I blamed myself for being not attractive and sexy enough and got really very depressed.

I have also observed that Hubby do not DIY. I did question him, but get brushed off again. Lately, i found some porn clips on his com. I do not understand why is it that he refused to touch me. Last night, i put aside my pride and again initiate a session. I performed a BJ for him but all he did was sit back and closed his eyes and there was simply no expression on his face. I stopped and he just went to bed. I cried myself to sleep again last night. Where were all the passion that we once shared? I felt very humilated.

My hubby has been very responsible and caring. He showers his love to me and i know there is no third party involved as he "report" to me all the time. I trust him well and know he will never betray me.

BBWLover · #2 07-04-2009, 04:33 AM

seriously i feel sorry for you..

thomas88 · #3 07-04-2009, 10:44 AM

Did your hubby watch you in the delivery proccess as I
ve known of guy who got turn off by the sight and couldn't make love with his wife again.

Was he unwilling to settle down back then but gave in as you're pregnant due to obligation. If that's the case then, he's no longer in love with you but doing what he's doing now(obligations).

I feel the best solution will be to get help from marriage council.

titan · #4 07-04-2009, 10:55 AM

hi gal, maybe he's stress out at work.. or having ED and yet to tell u about it... might be many many reasons for him to do that.. as bro thomas88 said, he's turned off by the sight of child birth. and please do continue to breastfeed the baby, they need it more than anything else. or just try to feed baby elsewhere away from him?

Happy Forever · #5 07-04-2009, 10:57 AM

Can understand the frustrations and worries you are going through now.There is definitely something that is bothering him,maybe even some serious issues.

A marriage without bonding is kind of terrible.No communications,love and understanding will lead to a bad ending.Glad you know it early and trying to salvage the situation.

If he is totally not interested in having sex with you or even touching you yet he is watching porn,as a man I will feel that he has lost the interests in doing it with you.Maybe you could try initiate by watching porn together with him and while watching together try some sexy talk or actions on him to get started.Try to find a private moment without the baby around.Hopefully it can help kickstart his interest in sex again.

Another thing could be due to the reason that he was not mentally prepared to be married but because you were pregnant he had no choice.Could it be due to this reason also?As you stated before marriage,you both like to have thrills etc.Maybe you can again try initiate the thrills again for him.

Hope it make sense and help you on the road to recovery.

catalick · #6 07-04-2009, 10:58 AM

Very sorry to learn of this.
I agree with thomas88 with regards to seeing the ops.. eerrr....
However, we have never met your hubby so its not fair for us to make judgement.
Maybe you can try looking at his porn stuff, you can try imitating what's happen in there. it should arouse him and porn usually is a form of living ones fantasy...

Criminalz · #7 07-04-2009, 11:16 AM

Dunno whether is the TS asking for advice, because nothing mention.

maybe it is the begining of a story.....

michael_368 · #8 07-04-2009, 11:19 AM

Hi

Very sorry to learn of this case you are having now, hope you will find happyness in due course of your life soon.

Frankiestine · #9 07-04-2009, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fade

Now, whenever he comes home, his first priority is playing with Baby and during bedtime, he will bring the PSP to bed and played till he fall asleep.

Damn we should exchange partners, cos my oc also bring PSP to bed and play until she fall asleep...always leaving me high and dry...i think she gets her orgasm playing from the game then making love with me...

Damn monster Frankie gets beaten to it by a PSP...

neolite · #10 07-04-2009, 11:53 AM

hi fade, sad to hear this. Try to find some time having a good chat and show concern with your hubby, like how his works and is he too stress at work.
If possible, arrange a short trip with your hubby so that you and your hubby can have some private time. As for your baby, you can ask your in-laws or your parents to take care temporarily.

hope this will work out for you. http://sammyboyforum.fun/images/smilies/smile.gif

carol888 · #11 07-04-2009, 12:00 PM

dont mind i be very frank..just watch carefully what ur guy doing

Fade · #12 07-04-2009, 12:08 PM

Thanks guys for all the kind words. Nope.. i am not writing a story here but seeking a place to voice out my fustrations and sadness. This is possibly be the best place to ask for advice and hear the "truth" with majority of the guys here married? Correct me if i am wrong. I am assuming.

Well, my hubby did not witness the birth of our baby as i gave birth via C-Sect. When he saw our baby, she is already nicely cleaned and wrapped up. So no bloody and gruesome sights. Sometimes if I happened to passby the com and saw him watching porn, i will purposely stop by and ask, " Oh what is that lady doing to that man???" then will pretend to be very interested. However, most of the time, its me who gets bored after watching for 10 mins or so as i begin to recall the past and how sad it is that we are unable to ignite the passion again.

I am feeling very helpless now. I told my hubby that i will never initiate ML ever again until he is ready to take the initiative. Guys, is it possible for a man not to masturbathe at all for many many months? When i perform BJ for my hubby, he had no problem with getting a hard on, but seems like he is not producing much semen as well.

kypdurron · #13 07-04-2009, 12:08 PM

-i seriously think its the stress thats making him really tired.
- i'm not sure how old your baby would be now but maybe a relative could baby sit? Store some of the breastmilk in the fridge.
-plan a getaway and not try and force the sex to happen.

-maybe you could let him "catch you" touching yourself, and tell him that you decided to give yourself pleasure because you havent felt like that in awhile.
-then he'll realise he's neglecting you.
-slowly he might adjust and feel the turn on.

shagbox · #14 07-04-2009, 01:22 PM

Sister Fade, I read your posting... Can I suggest you bonk him (get him hard on and ride him or whatever) instead of waiting for him. If this dun work invite me to bonk you infront of him... maybe this will work out.

In any case, looking forward to your next installment.

Lovable · #15 07-04-2009, 01:42 PM

Your only recourse at the moment is counselling. I hope this will work.