Having issues getting over girlfriend’s sexual past

[eSSence06]

I read a question that was similar to the one I have, but I did not believe it could fully be used for my situation. Both my girlfriend and me are 20 years of age. We have been together since July 2nd 2010, and it is June 2013. We were friends for many years before we started dating but due to both of us moving around we were not able to have a relationship. She is everything I ever wanted in a woman and I am so happy to have her in my life. I had no sexual interactions what so ever before I was with her, she is my first in everything. Unfortunately, I am not her first in many things, if anything at all, and that is very hurtful and distressing to me. When she was growing up her parents neglected and even abused her. She was molested on several occasions, but never by a family member. Her life has not been one of happiness and is full of past pains that plague her to this day. She never felt loved or cared about by anyone, and sought out relationships to fill this void. Her first sexual experience was with a female, they were friends and one night during a sleep over her friend put her hand down my girlfriends pants and began feeling around down there. My girlfriend said she did it back to her friend. She was bisexual for a while and dated a few girls, but never did anything for that kiss them. Though not often she claims. Her first sexual experience with a boyfriend was when she was 14 and the guy she was dating asked her to “touch him”, and so she did. She says she didn’t want to but did it to make him happy. In her next relationship she let him suck on her breasts and finger her, she touched him but while he had pants on so there was no contact with his penis.

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[eSSence06]

cont...

In her third relationship she also let him finger her and she gave him a hand job as well. In her last relationship she went out with this guy for 2.5 years and she really loved him. He was the first she gave oral sex to, and they did everything together. He fingered her; she gave him many hand jobs and lots of oral sex. She wanted to have sex and so did he, but she brought it up to him. They agreed and she claims that he only penetrated her a little bit before finishing, so she doesn’t believe she lost her virginity. He claims that every time they tried, which both him and her say was 3 times, that they had full intercourse but she swears that after that first time having failed, and the other two times they never got past being naked, none of the times they ever had full intercourse. I don’t know if she’s trying to protect me because she knows how bad it would hurt me if they actually did, or if she really didn’t have full on sex with him. I know her was able to penetrate her at least somewhat so I also have issues with whether she was still a virgin the first time we had sex.

I’ve told her many times that I just don’t know if I can ever get over all her past sexual activities. It bothers me greatly that she ever touched another woman, which happened more than once, and that she has kissed multiple girls. I have only kissed 3, including her, and I just feel inadequate knowing that she has kissed more than I have. Also all the sexual things she has done and have had done to her with other guys. I cant get the images out of my mind and it sometimes gets in the way of our sex life, if I start seeing or feeling things I can’t help but show it. One of the biggest problems I have is knowing that the woman I love and loves me back, the woman who I want to marry and make my wife one day, has loved other men. It feels like I am just one of three (she loved her last boyfriend and one other that I did not mention due to them not being sexual).

My questions are:

1) What can I do to get past her past bisexual activities?

2) Is there anything I can work on so as to not be so hurt by my girlfriend’s sexual encounters?

3) What must I do to get the images out of my head so that I can just focus on her and myself?

4) How can I get over her loving others before me?

5) I don’t know whether or not her last boyfriend took her virginity or not and while it would devastate me if he had, I feel like I have a right to know. Does what they did constitute losing ones virginity or not?

Any help at all would be immensely appreciated. Thank you so very much!

[sammyboyfor]

Originally Posted by eSSence06

Any help at all would be immensely appreciated. Thank you so very much!

You have a screw loose. You need to see a psychiatrist.

[zanketon]

Hey eSSence06,

This is what i think after readying your story.

you questions actually shows that you mind alot about her past and if that's the case it would be really hard for you two to be together. What you should do now is i think is to sit down and really think through if you really love her then you should tell yourself to get over with the past and cherish her from now on. If you think you cant get over it, then i guess you should let her go because it will always be a barrier between you and her. It is up to yourself to see if you can let go and no one can help you.

[owl888]

We know its school holidays so a lot of BGR problems, best u juz enjoy current situation....most of time this puppy love relationship may not mature to marriage....

[stillgottheblue]

TS, you're a dick head. Go marry some kid in India, sure a virgin and have not love others before you so that you can rest your mind. What the fuck!

You fuck her and she can make you cum? She can do hand job for you, suck you dry, why bother? Marriage is not only about fucking, fucking, fucking. If that is so, why get married? Just go to any whore to fuck.

[berma]

Originally Posted by eSSence06

1) What can I do to get past her past bisexual activities?

2) Is there anything I can work on so as to not be so hurt by my girlfriend’s sexual encounters?

3) What must I do to get the images out of my head so that I can just focus on her and myself?

4) How can I get over her loving others before me?

5) I don’t know whether or not her last boyfriend took her virginity or not and while it would devastate me if he had, I feel like I have a right to know. Does what they did constitute losing ones virginity or not?

Any help at all would be immensely appreciated. Thank you so very much!

1) What can I do to get past her past bisexual activities?

You can start to be like her and touch ur guy frens to be fair .

2) Is there anything I can work on so as to not be so hurt by my girlfriend’s sexual encounters?

You can indulge in befriending guys and will forget about all the unhappiness she had given u...

3) What must I do to get the images out of my head so that I can just focus on her and myself?

Start off by sucking other guys lanjiao and soon u will only have image of urself giving guys blowjobs.

4) How can I get over her loving others before me?

You can start off with loving me first and slowly loving others in order to understand love.

5) I don’t know whether or not her last boyfriend took her virginity or not and while it would devastate me if he had, I feel like I have a right to know. Does what they did constitute losing ones virginity or not?

You don't have to understand whether she is still a virgin or not, u just have to tongkeng ur kar chng fo berma to poke and u will be guaranteed to lose ur virgin to me.

[sta1100]

Bro, why are you trouble by her pass, she has come clean, you love as what she is just because she a bi or maybe her ex BF took away her V. Come on. Are you a V when you are with her !!!

[crazyivan6636]

Move on will ya. Why so keen to know how many guys she had polished their knobs and swallowed their sperm in full.

Also, why are you so concerned that she is still a virgin, she had been honest to you, enjoy the relationship and keep it tight, dun let a small piece of useless membrane disrupt your love life. So what if she had been banged by other guys, enjoyed it and begged them for more. Are you so concerned to know how much they had spunked in her, of if they had made it out senseless. That is the past move on.

No use thinking a virgin is going to be angels, seen and popped so many nice cherries to only find out that they are different actually .

Now dun tell us you had not got that occassional urge to pump yourself dry or with the help of others before..

Holidays I believe is coming to an end, patch up!!

[seventyfour]

TS, her past shouldn't matter u at all seriously! you may not be her first, but the most important prize for u is that hopefully u are the last person she have sex with. Live for the present, plan for the future. Love and cherish the one u really like, and don't let her past to come in between both of u. Good luck!

[Brainstorm]

Please dump her because you don't deserve her. She deserves someone better. For a girl to confess everything to you, it means you are very important to her. She wants you to know everything about her. Think about it. It would have been much easier for her not to tell you about the lesbian past. She chose to tell you because she loves you.

You are still very young. When you are 30, you will regret ever leaving this girl for all these stupid minor reasons. Because when you are 30 and beyond, almost every girl has a colourful sexual history.

[jurongguy1981]

Originally Posted by Brainstorm

You are still very young. When you are 30, you will regret ever leaving this girl for all these stupid minor reasons. Because when you are 30 and beyond, almost every girl has a colourful sexual history.

LOL... this is WORD!
Come on man TS... The thing is at 20, you are as green as you said, it is certainly hard to believe too...
Anyway, everyone will have a past and you may not marry her anyways... so does that mean you will not be worthy of a new partner? Be real!

[Hwei6969]

Why u need a virgin for???? To see blood when you poke her? U vampire ar?

[crazyivan6636]

Dun tell me u are going to be an angel until u marry a virgin girl and pop her cherry.

From what you are saying, you plan to get a virgin GF, will definitely want to be the first and pop her cherry and be the man that feels your warm spunk in her for the first time before you marry but are not in the position to commit yet.

Doesn't that sound like the rest of the other guys that had done her. A pot telling a kettle to be black.

[pakalolo]

If this is the type of Sg boys we are having now may all the Gods help sg