Poodles on the ball for the wrong reason

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An honorable member of the Coffee Shop Has Just Posted the Following:

Transmogified from hxxp://news.xin.msn.com/en/singapore/two-establishments-caught-breaching-licensing-restrictions-on-sale-of-alcohol

PEASANTPORE: Peasantpore's Poodles, after suffering massive loss of face during the Little India Neh Riots now claimed two petty merchants in Little India have been found to have breached Kelantan style liquor restrictions on the December 22.

In a statement on Monday evening to restore confidence that the Poodles are on their toes, gleefully Poodles' spokesman claimed the breaches were detected during 'heightened poodle' patrols in Little India to enforce the Hudud ban on alcohol consumption and ensure petty merchants do not sell cheap liquor in their cheap premises.

The Poodles claimed they waylaid a Neh serf who appeared drunk and was carrying a can of unopened beer along Chander Road. Like a typical Sabo King Neh, he foolishly told the Poodles on duty that he had purchased the can of beer from a petty merchant along Chander Road.

The Poodles, never so on their toes on loan sharks and rioters, suddenly made a mountain out of a molehill and the beer can was seized as a case exhibit, the idiot Neh serf, as a reward for his honesty, was booked and probably be summoned for some witch-hunt at a later date. Note, most poodles never follow up on loan shark cases but are more hardworking enforcing Hudud laws.

After acting on advice from nearby missonary school boys, the Poodles reached a conclusion that small time proprietor of the outlet was believed to have sold the beer in during the Kelantan Ban Hours.

In the second incident, at 12.50am on Sunday, on the ball poodles, but never so hardworking against neighbourhood loan sharks, conducted a check at an eatery at Jalan Besar and found that it was serving alcohol.

As if divine inspiration from the heavens, the Poodles said they have seized the liquor found in the store after allowing the donkeys to sell cheap liquor for many donkey full moons, another proof that the Poodles are sleeping on their jobs before the riots.

In the statement, Poodles said they are treating the two incidents "very seriously" and will treat those petty merchants like political pariahs.

The statement said: "KNNCCB, after the riots, we becume the butt of jokes, peasants say we only know how to issue summon or arrest political pariahs but behave like meek poodles when meeting loan sharks or riots. Lumpar ok, this show trial is a blatant disregard for the Poodle's face and pride and we will wayang will take strong action against the parties involved or the local peasants will see us as sick cats.

"Poodles will be proceeding with a view to charge those petty merchants for opening selling cheap liquor and make us look like fools. For the Jane Austen bastards who slam us for leniency towards the riots, KNNCCB, if you are so fucking brave, please write a formal letter with your address and see how we dig dirt and deal with you lor. We may run away from riots but we never shy away punishing local peasants ok."

In addition to the cases above, one Neh was also found drinking alcohol within the proclaimed area over the weekend.

As the favoured foreigner complied with the Poodles warning to stop and give them face, the Poodles merely seized the alcohol in his possession. He will be issued with a police advisory since he is foreigner and under Ruler Loong's 'Favour the Foreigners' Policy', they are deemed Untouchable by the Kangaroo Laws.

The Poodle statement also said liquor licence holders in Little India can expect stringent compliance checks to continue while foreign liquor labels and their crony establishments will be exempted as they pay more taxes.

"The Poodles would like to remind all licensees to give face to Poodles and not sell cheap liquor till the storm blow over as Ruler Loong is still incensed that the well paid Poodles and Gestapo bigwigs are completely clueless before and after the riots."


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